Discouraged

taraHK
taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My chemo has been postponed AGAIN, due to low white blood cell count. (I'm on FOLFOX, supposedly every 2 weeks, following surgical removal of a single lung metastisis, 2 yrs after tx for Stage III rectal cancer). I am a "pollyanna" by nature, and each time I have a setback I manage to see the bright side, focus on the positive aspects. But this time -- well, maybe I just need to wallow in self pity for 24 hrs! This is the fifth time I've had a postponement. After the next round they will put me on a drug to boost my white blood cells (why not before?!). This next round will be my 6th -- I'll be half way. I was hoping to be finished by early December - now mid-December -- I'm discouraged watching that 'finish date" slip further and further away.
Tara

Comments

  • HisJoy
    HisJoy Member Posts: 113
    #2
    Tara,
    Hang in there, girl! My chemo has been postponed a few times, too - mostly because of my liver functions, but I also had to go on Neulasta for the low white count. I hate hearing that your treatment is stalled, but this, too, shall pass and you'll have it behind you again. *big hug*

    Bonny
  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #3
    Tara,

    I will send some positive thoughts and prayers your way. I hope that you will be able to receive your chemo as scheduled.

    Maureen
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #4
    Tara,

    Hang in there girl! I know it is discouraging. As I was going through my first round of chemo, I was so sick that I told my husband I did not want to ever do this again.....Well, guess what....I had a recurrance and here I am going throug this again. Yes, it is the will to live and we have to fight this disease with a positive attitude, a Pollyanna attitude and with fortitude.

    Stay strong, stay positive and you will get through this. Let us help you!

    Kerry
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #5
    my counts have been down ever since coming off
    folfox, and don't seem to improve.. ask your Doc if there is anything you can/should be doing to improve your counts-(?) other than waiting, that is.. I know how you feel; my life has been in a holding pattern since my diagnosis almost 5 yrs ago.
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    #6
    I certainly can understand how this can get you down. Hang in there. Things will be looking up again soon. Picture that bone marrow spewing out the WBCs.
    Mary
  • liverpoolgirl
    liverpoolgirl Member Posts: 44
    #7
    Dont be discouraged, hang in there. Everyone here will get you through this.
    Debbie
    aka "the English Chick"
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #8
    liverpoolgirl said:

    Dont be discouraged, hang in there. Everyone here will get you through this.
    Debbie
    aka "the English Chick"

    Thank you all for your replies (and email) -- I really appreciate it....I am feeling a little more positive these days....The 'waiting game' is hard, but at least I am still receiving treatment (sort of). After my next round of chemo, I will be receiving Neupogen shots to boost my WBC count....I like the idea of imagery -- I will try that. The only other advice I've been given by my docs is to make sure I am eating plenty of protein. And take a multivitamin (high in C).
    Thanks again, all.
    Tara
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #9
    I am so sorry... more disappointments. I was glad to see you posting (it had been a while), but wishing it was for happier news. Try not to fixate on the dates of completing the chemo - but celebrate each infusion as another accomplishment. I would count them down.

    But yes, you are allowed and completely entitled to wallow in self pity - 24 hrs is just a start. Take a whole week if you need!

    You remain in my thoughts. All my yoga and deep breathing helped my mental state after my thoracotomy. I considered the deep breaths to bring in "good" air that kicked the cancer's butt.

    Hang in there and keep us posted. jana
  • bsrules
    bsrules Member Posts: 296
    #10
    Tara,

    As everyone has said, "Hang in there!!"

    You are aloud to feel down!!! Just keep on fighting the awful MONSTER!!!

    As for the White count drug. I found out while Bob was doig chemo that his counts kept droping and he was on it for a while then when they changed the chemo they took him off and we went through the same thing. I asked the Physician's Asst. why didn't they keep him on the drug and she said," They had to document it to prove to the insurance company that he continued to need it on the new chemo." I was so pissed as again the insurance companies do all the mandateing while the patient suffers the consequences. I don't know about you insurance company but the is how ours went. I think it stinks to high heaven!!!!

    Hang in there!!!

    Love

    Sue
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    #11
    Hi Tara, I'm sorry to read about your postponement, and feel free to wallow away for a bit. Since it been a few days since your post, I hope the blues are getting chased away.
    This whole disease seems to be about marking time, and when my chemo was delayed due to marginally controlled diarrhea, I also felt like I was "losing" time. My onc assured me that outcomes were based on total treatments, not governed by a strict schedule. I encourage you to use some of the time for yourself and stay in touch with that positive part of you. It will get better. Judy

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