I NEVER MEANT TO HURT ANYONE

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Suzy41
Suzy41 Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I'm a very emotional person, love very deeply and get hurt very deeply as well. I was so happy when I started posting because I thought I'd found some people who understood what I was going through with the kids and their mom. Then all of a sudden it was like a firestorm of criticism and it really hurt me.I am such a loving and caring person and I know that when you have cancer you go through a lot. Although I do'nt have cancer, my doctor has instructed me to get paps every 6 months because he says I'm a good candidate for cervical cancer because I've never had children and other personal reasons. That right there scares me to death. So I know better and am sorry for lashing out. I talked to my husband this weekend about M. and he said that we are'nt doing enough and we do need to figure something out to help them wheither she likes it or not. M. has been up and around, but seems worse. She just does'nt look very good. The doc has run tests and we will find out the results later this week. I think a lot of the reason she was in bed was because of the cancer, not depression, because she has talked about not being able to remember things and getting confused easily. She has the cancer all over her anyway and it is in her skull too. Again, we have made arrangments for a lady to come and help with cooking and cleaning. We do'nt live in the same town as they do, but between working and taking care of our home, the kids have been here a lot and we are spending more time at their home also. P.S. I've prayed all weekend for getting so angry. I've just been under a lot of stress lately. Again, I'm sorry!!

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  • lindatn
    lindatn Member Posts: 229
    #2
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    Sounds like you will soon have these children full time. Is this what is casuing you so much worry? No you do not know what it is like to have cancer. Linda
  • mssue
    mssue Member Posts: 242
    #3
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    lindatn said:

    Sounds like you will soon have these children full time. Is this what is casuing you so much worry? No you do not know what it is like to have cancer. Linda

    Just because someone doesn't have first hand experience with cancer doesn't mean that someone can't have empathy for someone else that is going through this..We've all had different experiences whether it be family,work or health issues--how we deal with it can really make the difference.Being a step-parent is difficult in itself, then when You throw cancer and ex's in the mix it makes it even more difficult.But in the end it can be one of the most rewarding endeavers a person can have.If You do what You know in Your heart that is good and true, to and for others, stress levels will start to subside as satisfaction takes over.That will do Your heart good!
    Keep Your faith-and stay strong-You'll be glad You did.
    Sue
  • BonnieT
    BonnieT Member Posts: 13
    #4
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    HI
    Cancer is stressful for everyone involved. Everyone
    gets frustrated at times. Keep positive and stay involved , my prayers are with you and your family.
    Bonnie T
  • Ellison
    Ellison Member Posts: 68
    #5
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    Hi Suzy

    Good to hear form you. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Glad you decided to post again. It is good to be able to talk about how we are feeling and get some of this off our chest. Your right, you couldn't possibly know what we go thru with cancer and I hope you never do. But on the other hand I am not walking in your shoes either.

    BIG HUG
    elli
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    #6
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    Just as a suggestion, you may want to check out the board here for Emotional Support as well as the one for Caregivers and check out some of the chat rooms when you can. You may find more people dealing with cancer as caregivers/loved one's/friends, etc. who may be able to offer more of what you need from a different perspective than we can offer, as survivors.

    I'm happy to hear that your husband and yourself are doing more for M and his children. She sounds in poor condition and the fact that she just stayed in bed all that time defies my comprehension. You said that she has the cancer all over her anyway and if that is true, then things may get worse before they get better and you'll need to be strong and resourceful to be helpful to her and the kids. Hang in there and try not to let your emotions rule. When we know we're very emotional across the board, it's sometimes good to develop a method of assigning decisions to our intellects, instead of our hearts, if we know we're likely to get out of control while working from an emotional perspective. Just a thought.

    Best wishes and I so hope that M's test results will soon be in and that she's in good hands with her medical team!

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink

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