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24242
24242 Member Posts: 1,398
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Well I have gotten some results back and still not feeling very good about things. After some procrastination, I could only get a quick review since doctor away on holidays. I have only got one result over the phone ever, cancer was the word. It has been 8 years 4 months since those words were spoken and yes, got a normal space reading at jaw opening. But when asked about the lump there was nothing more she could tell. Oh good and now doctor doesn't get back till the 26th. I highly recommend not putting things off and having to go for weeks without knowing what is going on. What I am suppose to have a lump and feel good about moving on, even though it causes pain and agrivates me to know end, one reason found the thing again.
Sort of funny really, the word ironic just like the song. I found my first lump on a holiday ruining it for us all. Once the tests were done I was told they would tell me on the Friday and Monday I was still waiting only to be told that if there was no new it was good new. Not the way it turned out for me. I sort of have to say that I am managing to live in the moment and taking it day by day and finding some sanity along the way. I guess when one just sees it is what it is,
nothing really can break your spirit since the bad moments don't seem to last. I seem to just hang onto the people who have gone before me, now taking their place on our teams cheering us all on, through our survival. Yes we miss and feel the losses but never forget the spirits they have created. I have many making team Tara and do my best not to let them down, along the way.
Day by Day moment by moment is the simplest thing that I have known. I am beginning to truly understand what it is like to be afraid, once again. This too shall pass.
I know where to come to let it out since my family has been through enough. But know all that I appreciate this space to come a let it all out.
Tara

Comments

  • newboobs
    newboobs Member Posts: 121
    #2
    242 -- lots of super hugs and prayers for you. Haven't chatted with you in a long time. We're here for you ---
  • wimpy
    wimpy Member Posts: 58
    #3
    So very sorry that you have to go through this. I wish I could do something concrete for you. Know that my hopes and prayers are with you. Keep us posted.

    Wimpy
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    #4
    wimpy said:

    So very sorry that you have to go through this. I wish I could do something concrete for you. Know that my hopes and prayers are with you. Keep us posted.

    Wimpy

    So sorry to hear of your situation. If it is of any help I will offer up this...
    Oct 2004 I broke my back, weakened by a bone met, hospitalized to find mets in my lungs, liver and kidney. Started on chemo Oct 2004 till Feb 2005, redid CT scans and all was clear, except for bones. Now I have a mass in arm at site of bone met, blessing really as mass has stabilized the bone fracture. Arm feels better than it has since it broke Nov 2003.
    Tuesday back pain was bad, Wednesday had neuro symptoms, weak, numb legs and feet, had to get back on cane as my knees were buckling when I walked. Today, glory to God, I am fine. I still have to make a decision regarding chemotherapy.
    You know life is about choices, making the right ones, how we make them, and if we make the wrong ones, learning from our mistakes, so next time we can do things differently.
    Search your soul Tara and listen for that small voice and then make the right choice.
    If you need help go visit www.urcctc.com
    Conquering Cancer Through Christ
    Look and see if there is something there that helps, it's worth a try,
    no guarantees, but you'll never know if you don't try.
    Love and (((HUGS)))
    hummingbyrd

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