Stressing

Hi Bizy,

It can seem like You're in a big whirl wind when things like this come into Your life. Panicking,stressing,worrying and sometimes sleepless nights all go along with it ,You are not alone.It's easy for someone to say don't think about it or don't worry, everything will be okay-especially some one that hasn't been there.That is one of the reasons for this forum,we are all at some stage of cancer,I say that because some have been through it all ,some more than others,or some are going through it again or have been out of treatments for sometime. There are alot of Great People here,with alot of experience, so if You need to get something out of Your system you know where to go. It's not an easy thing to go through anytime,but it sure is nice to be able to communicate,throw a fit ,cry,laugh or just ask questions.There are no dumb questions either if You don't ask you'll never know!

You have alot to go through so make sure You get plenty of rest and take extra special care of yourself.I know when I was going through all of this I was up all times of the nite-I'm really glad I had a computer and this site was here.There were times when I didn't think I was gonna make it,but the Ladies her were so kind and caring,I continue to come back here because it was so important for me to have some place to go that I couldn't imagine not being here for other women (or men) that's in case Michael sees this-Ha!Ha!

As You are going through treatments research as much as possible to make sure You are making good decisions and check in Your area for a look good feel better program,if You're going through chemo You may need or want a wig or hats , scarves even bras,I found a site called TLC they have very reasonable prices.

We are here whenever You need us-Keep us posted,and through it all keep Your Faith!You'll be in my prayers.

God Bless You!
Sue

dmarie1010 said:

Hi bizywizy! I was 20 when I was originally diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a double mastectomy and went through chemo too. Last year, I was then diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. There was a spot on my lung, it was throughout my chest, and in a lymph node and my prognosis wasn't good, but I had the lump in my left lung removed and began chemo. So, believe me, I know about the panic attacks. Now, after almost 11 months of chemo and antibodies, the cancer is gone.

I tried to do research on my disease, but everything I read was so grim, I just knew that I wasn't going to live... I was so down and depressed, I cried everyday, all day. My life had just started, I had a good job, moved in with my wonderful boyfriend (who had just moved to KY from Fargo, ND for me), bought a new car, was looking for a house..... I felt everything slipping away, and I was only 24 at the time.

I had to take everything day by day, and I had to finally let myself feel that it was ok to be down and out and that it was ok to cry. I always got so mad at myself because I wasn't stronger, but I had been through so much, who wouldn't feel scared, sad, mad, etc.

Cancer will always be a part of my life; I'm reminded by large scars on my chest everyday, bills and other financial problems now, Dr. visits every week, etc... but I also know that I'm lucky too. I have a wonderful boyfriend who has been completely supportive through everything, a great family and great friends, and I know that I can finally depend on myself as well. No, I don't wake up chipper and always ready to take on the day. But, I take a deep breath and deal with things hour by hour, day by day. And starting to talk with people through the acscsn.org this past week has been so helpful too. You are not alone! If you need any advice or need to just talk, I would always be more than happy to tell you more about my experiences, as would others. I hope this makes you feel better...good luck with chemo, and keep your head up.

Dana

Hey bizy!
As you can see from Dana and Sue we all have similar reactions to the big C, but different ways to deal with it. Kinda like trying on shoes, you just gotta keep trying till you find what fits.
Me, in a nutshell, (boy is that appropriate) LOL June of 2000 my world shattered in just one hour, or so I thought. I was 38, had a lumpectomy with 13 out of 27 positive lymph nodes (the last 14 were negative).
Treated with chemo then radiation. Bone metastasis to right arm 8/01 then low back 11/01. On Herceptin for 3 years, 11/2003 bone met in arm broke, it is STILL broken, BUT! I was just diagnosed with a tumor in the muscle of my arm and the swelling from the tumor has stabilized the fracture and WOW relieved a lot of pain!
Back to my story, no pun intended, I broke my back in Oct 2004 due to bone met and it is STILL broken, but I can walk. Broken back got me into the hospital and they diagnosed mets to lungs, liver and kidney so back on chemo Oct to Feb.
Feb 2005 CT of lungs, liver and kidney clear, glory be to God!
June this year was my 5 year survival and during these 5 years I have been tried, tested and blessed beyond compare.
I have a website at wwww.urcctc.com where you can go read the way I first dealt with all of this if interested, and I just published a book called Cancer and Beyond
The Things You Want To Know About Cancer...But Nobody Will Tell You
It can be found at amazon.com
Anyway, I start a new chemo in the next week or so and I will just keep on keeping on, one day at a time, by the grace of God. That's all we ever really had, even before the diagnosis, it's just now we realize it.
I am happy to say I am doing well and if I'm not it's just because I am to dumb to know any better.
(Some say ignorant, but I say dumb) Oh, and by the way, the ONLY dumb question is the one not asked, so ask away.
Welcome to the club you never wanted to join, but I gau-ran-tee you'll be blessed for being here. This is a wonderful site filled with lots of love from some of the best people I know.
The women here are incredible and NOW YOU are one of them!
Congratulations on being a survivor!
(((HUGS))) hummingbyrd

Hi Bizy,
I too had a lumpectomy with 2 lymph nodes involved in Dec. 2001. Went through 8 rounds of chemo, 35 rad treatment, and now tamoxifen. I was 37 at the time I was diagnosed, with 2 kids 8 and 5.

My kids are now 12 and 9, I had a huge party last year to celebrate my 40th birthday (which I wasn't sure I was going to have at one time), and by the grace of God I'm doing well. The most anxious time for me was after surgery and before chemo (where you are now), because there were so many questions and unknowns. Once I started chemo, I could get on with an action plan, and things got better. There is still anxiety at times, but it does get better with time. Like everyone else here said, it's o.k. to get down and feel anxious, just get back up again and move on when you can. Take care of yourself, become informed so you are comfortable with your decisions, and feel free to ask people here or elsewhere who have been through what you are going through plenty of questions.

bizywizy said:

Thank you all for your replies. I know this is going to be journey for me. I never thought I'd be going through this. Ms. Healthy herself--now has cancer. I am still having a hard time with it. But with the grace of God I will pull through. He is the only one that can give true peace. Llange thank you so much, you were exactly where I am at today, you are in my head. Please pray for me. I will keep you all posted. I hope I will do well with chemo, and the rad. I look forward to the day I will no longer feel this way. I know that although cancer will always be a part of my life, life will get better for me, it's just hard seeing that right now. Thank you all. It's so good to hear from you all. I pray that one day there will be a cure for this dreadful disease, I really do.

Blessings to all!

Madeline

I was diagnosed with stage almost three years ago and no recurrence. I had a mastectomy because of genetic factors, but chemo was not nearly as hard as I anticipated. I found this site helpful and also a local cancer support group, meditation, and friends. I agree with the idea of taking one day at a time and encourage you to find a local support group. You're in my prayers.

Hi Madeline,
I will keep you in my prayers! This is all normal... these feelings.... these emotions. And like mssue said... others that never experienced cancer have it easier to tell others..."Oh dont worry.. you will get through" There were times, where my stomach would knot, my arm would tingle, then go numb, my head would get dizzy... and it was anxiety. The good news, is that... once we start the ball rolling... we have a treatment routine.. the anxiety eases. And if it doesnt, there are many good medicines to help with fear and anxiety. These meds dont dope you up.. but they take the edge off. Its the waiting that is a real crusher. Waiting for an appointment or lab results, etc. In the mean time.. come to this site often, pray often, allow EVERYONE that wants to help you, help you... and try to hang in there. You can do this. God bless.
-Michael (leukemia survivor)

When I go to bed, I think... I feel okay right NOW and none of us know the future. I am able to fall asleep with this attitude plus prayer. When I do not feel okay, I deal with it at the time. I am in remission, but have my aches and pains which causes me some anxiety until I get myself together.
I did not have a difficult time with chemo; I kept thinking about 2 teens I knew who had gone through chemo and radiation , and I felt blessed I was healthy for 54 years. I continually focus on my blessings.

Lots of good advice here and I'll add one thing that helped me. I also found the most anxious period was after surgery and before chemo. I joined a support group with SHARE, an organization here in the New York Tri-state area (I don't know if they're nationwide). They had a specific group for newly diagnosed women who were just finishing surgery and beginning chemo. It was wonderful being able to share your feelings with others who were in an exactly identical situation. I met some wonderful women and it was a huge help in alleviating my stress, so you might want to look for a support group in your area. Good luck to you.

Maeve0102 said:

It's natural to feel scared. But, when you think about it, the scariest part is over and the medical people treating you are experts in their field. You must try to eat healthy, laugh alot (that was the hardest for me) and remember that millions of people with the same diagnosis are alive, well and happy. When you get down in the dumps which is probably going to happen, think about Lance Armstrong. He had testicular cancer which, I believe, spread to his lungs and brain. And, not only is he alive to tell the tale but he is going for an unprecedented win in the Tour deFrance race. He got through it, I got through it, and you can too. Also, try to get involved in a support system of some kind to get these fears out of your head. You will be amazed at how many people care about others like you.

My heart goes out to you. I have had breast cancer twice, stage2 the first time with 2 lymph nodes bad, and stage1 no bad lymph nodes the second time, chemo and radiation with both. It was only 14 months between the cancers so I didn't really have time to feel comfortable with myself for very long before the roller coaster of emotion started all over again. I had very good doctors who listened to me, which helped greatly. I couldn't sleep at all before my chemo began with the second cancer so my doctor gave me a very mild dose of Paxil. It was one of those things, I could prepare for what was going to happen because I had been there before, but then I couldn't sleep because I new what was coming. We all fear the unknown in one way or another, it makes us normal human beings. As the others have said you just have to keep moving. Some days that is easier said then done. I was fortunate/unfortunate to have younger children during this time of my life. They gave me all the reason in the world to get up every day, but then I felt guilty because they had to go through this with me. My best advice is let people help you, get support from other survivors, and really communicate all your feelings to your doctors. Good luck and god bless.