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When it rains, it pours

Posts: 10
Joined: Oct 2004

I can hardly believe this is happening. We lost my mother-in-law to lung cancer in December, now I find out my father has esophageal cancer. We don't know what stage he's at yet. He has appointments next week with both an oncologist and a surgeon. Everything I've read on the web scares me to death. This cancer sounds very serious. We mistakenly thought they'd just do another scope like the dilatations he's had in the past.
In addition to that, my mother has a lump in her breast that needs to be removed & tested. I am just completely numb. I don't feel like I have any feelings left. We were absolutely torn apart over losing my mother-in-law. Now, with this happening so quickly afterwards, I find no emotions left. I guess that will come later, once we know more. I have always thought that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle, but how much can one person deal with?
This sounds so selfish. I should be worried about my parents, instead of myself. I guess I am just angry that this is happening now, while we are still trying to recover from last month's events. Anyone out there with words of encouragement for me? Tell me to pull my head out & get it together, will you?

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Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2005

First let me say, You are not alone in this! My Dad has been fighting esophageal cancer for a year now and we have heard from the beginning that it is one of the most difficult to treat and recover from. If I could offer one piece of advise, I'd tell you to do your homework before your Dad decides on treatment. Knowledge is power. Don't feel guilty about having your own feelings. You can't help your family if you are a mess yourself. Take time to educate yourself and be strong for yourself, then you can help your parents. Hang in there!

mrbt's picture
Posts: 46
Joined: Jun 2001

Please check out the EC specific group at Cathy's EC Cafe at "www.eccafe.org" and click on the EC Group link. There are over 1200 members with lots of knowledge and support.

Paul420's picture
Posts: 17
Joined: Jan 2005

Hi, my name is Paul, 39, from Hockessin, Delaware. I was diagnosed with stomach cancer (a tumor half the size of my stomach) in June 2003. I went to the University of Texas' M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. It is the number 1 cancer research and treatment centers in the nation and the world. I underwent 6 months of chemo (carboplatin, taxol and 5-fu) from Sept. 2003 to February 2004. By April 2004, the tumor was gone and the cancer that had spread to the liver, transverse colon, diaphragm and abdominal wall is all gone. I was on a J-tube feeding tube from August 2003 to December 2003 but was taken out when I attained a regular weight of 140 pounds. I do exactly what the oncology department told me. I drink green tea, eat brocolli, tomatoes, cran-grape juice and almonds every day.

My wife and I can not say enough about M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. There is an oncology department for each organ in the body and a floor for each organ. The center is made up of 12 hospitals, I believe, from cancer treatments for infants to the elderly and even a veterns hospital. Our e-mail is rescue26@msn.com if you want to contact or call us.

Our only other option was Sloan-Kettering in NYC.

Posts: 10
Joined: Oct 2004

Thanks for the information, Paul. My dad had surgery at the end of January. He is doing remarkably well. They took almost all of the esophagus from the chest & the upper 1/4 of his stomach. They have staged him at "1", which is really great news. He just needs to recover from the surgery, which is enough in itself. He's up and around more than I thought he'd be. His lesion was really small, so say a prayer they got it all & we'll really be done.

I hope you're getting stronger every day. It sounds like you've been through a lot. I am trying to stay positive since we've been so lucky. It looks like my mom will just need some radiation for her breast cancer & then she will be done, too. So, we've been double lucky. I guess God does know how much we can handle.

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2006

Im sorry to here of all you're going through. My boyfriend was just diagnosed with EC and my sister has Cervical Cancer. I am just a mess! I feel a little guilty too worrying about how im going to deal with all of this but I do know that I have to take care of myself or I wont be able to help those that I Love. You just have to take it one day at a time and PRAY! I am so scared that at times I just sit and cry. But I cant do that (often) and reaching out to someone else helps me alot. Good Luck and hang in there.

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