Intimacy

jake10
jake10 Member Posts: 202
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am in my late 40's (I can say that for a few more months, I'll be 50 this summer) and have been single for over 23 years. While raising my children I wasn't sexually active and had just started dating when I was diagnosed. Now I have this fear that I will never be intimate again and it saddens me. Any one out there develope a new and lasting relation after diagnosis. I can't imagine sharing the scars and disfiguration with someone new to me. Does this make any sense. I feel regret now for not having been active all those years and I never regreted it before the diagnosis.

Comments

  • squeeboo
    squeeboo Member Posts: 29
    #2
    Hi there,
    I'm in a very different situation (33 and married), but a good friend who helped me through my treatment was 37 when she had a mastectomy 2 years ago. She did not get reconstruction and opted for a prosthesis. She is engaged to be married this summer and is very happy. Her fiancee is very supportive and caring. During their third date she told him about her cancer and prosthesis and though he wasn't quite sure at first how to handle it (no pun intended), her being so open about it made him comfortable.
    I think it's perfectly normal to be hesitant about opening up to someone new. One thing to your advantage is probably that partners in their 40's are much more likely to be understanding and accepting. Go for it! Keep in mind that it's you and not your scars that a real partner is interested in.
    Good luck!
  • momof4
    momof4 Member Posts: 56
    #3
    hi jake funny how i have been thinking the same thing as you and i do hope that someday the good lord will send somebody our way that really appreciate us and love us for who we are. Good luck hugs and love Mariat.
  • Santarana
    Santarana Member Posts: 5
    #4
    Jake, it is never too late. I too was single for a very long time and when the cancer recurred a couple of years ago I was sure there was no time left for love. I did have a very close friend who as time and treatments came and went along with my hair, we because very close and fell in love. He has now moved in with me and he's seen me both at my best and at my worst. Don't give up . . . both you and I are in our late 40's and life doesn't stop because of age or cancer. Open up your heart and someone will be there fore you.
  • jake10
    jake10 Member Posts: 202
    #5
    Santarana said:

    Jake, it is never too late. I too was single for a very long time and when the cancer recurred a couple of years ago I was sure there was no time left for love. I did have a very close friend who as time and treatments came and went along with my hair, we because very close and fell in love. He has now moved in with me and he's seen me both at my best and at my worst. Don't give up . . . both you and I are in our late 40's and life doesn't stop because of age or cancer. Open up your heart and someone will be there fore you.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you all are right. I would so like to have a relationship someday. Thanks

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