It's ok to ask for help

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Mosis50
Mosis50 Member Posts: 59
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have been struggling for the last week with concerns about asking for help when I start my chemo. I am a single, very independent woman and I don't want to ask for help if I don't REALLY need it. The problem is I don't know whether I am going to need it or not. So last night I called my sis and talked to her and BOY what a relief. She said she would be here IF if needed her. I don't have to plan in advance, just let her know and she can be here in 6 hours. I don't know why that is so hard but I am pretty sure other people have the same problem. So, go ahead and ask and God will take care of it, just like HE did for me. You just have to surrender to the need for help and it will come to you. Thank you, God. AND thank you to all of you who read and respond to all my questions and concerns. Susan

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  • Sandis
    Sandis Member Posts: 85
    #2
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    It has been really hard for me to ask for help. My sister came after my trans flap surgery, without my asking. Now I need someone to drive and pick me up after chemotherapy. Each week I ask someone and they are glad to help, but its one of the hardest things I'm going through. All my friends and colleagues are very busy. No one is sitting around with nothing to do and I hate asking them. I could take a Taxi but I'm too drugged when I leave I'd be uncomfortable taking a taxi and I'm not sure the oncologist would agree to my riding a taxi. I know my friends want to help, but its hard asking. So I know what you're going through. Some of the help you may need may need to be closer than 6 hours away. I guess we all need to grown in asking for help. I'm used to being the helper not the one being helped and its really hard. My prayers are with you.
  • Mosis50
    Mosis50 Member Posts: 59
    #3
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    Sandie,
    One of my friends told me that I should not keep them from being blessed by allowing them to help. I am finding that so many people are just waiting to be asked. I am going to have to work on that, too. I will pray for you that you will have the support you need during this time. God Bless You. Susan
  • ksfc
    ksfc Member Posts: 251
    #4
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    Mosis50 said:

    Sandie,
    One of my friends told me that I should not keep them from being blessed by allowing them to help. I am finding that so many people are just waiting to be asked. I am going to have to work on that, too. I will pray for you that you will have the support you need during this time. God Bless You. Susan

    I absolutely agree. And if anyone has trouble finding help, check with your local American Cancer Society or breast cancer support group. There will be people there willing to help who know exactly what you're going through. One of my surgeon's nurses is actually a Reach to Recovery Volunteer and she was there when the surgeon first told me I had cancer. It was so nice to have someone there with info who had actually been through it. She also gave me a neat quilted bag that a local quilting group makes for all breast cancer patients and it had the best pillow in it - small - just right for under your arm. - Diane
  • minnie112256
    minnie112256 Member Posts: 49
    #5
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    My sister has helped me every step of the way with my chemo and all my surgeries. It has made us closer. I did not even have to ask. She was there for me as soon as I found out.
  • isaiah4031
    isaiah4031 Member Posts: 240
    #6
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    Some people need to do something for us...it's all they can do and they have a need to help. It was hard to accept it for me, because I didn't want to burden anyone...but then I thought that when I offer to help someone, it's because I love them and care for them...not because they're a burden. It was hard for me to accept unconditional love from people...but it gets better every day. To know that people love and care about me enough to help me without question is such a blessing. I'm still learning, but it's a good process. God bless you all in this journey.
    Love, Jayne
  • KarenMcD
    KarenMcD Member Posts: 3
    #7
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    Mosis50 said:

    Sandie,
    One of my friends told me that I should not keep them from being blessed by allowing them to help. I am finding that so many people are just waiting to be asked. I am going to have to work on that, too. I will pray for you that you will have the support you need during this time. God Bless You. Susan

    I have a good friend who also told me that I'm not allowing others to receive a blessing by letting them help me. I've got a 5 & a 6 year old, and I'm finishing chemo with radiation to follow, you'd think it would be easy to ask for help, but I still have such a hard time asking. I tend to be the type that thinks I can do it all... by myself. :) I'm getting better at asking, but it still isn't easy!

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