Survivors Guilt

luckyj
luckyj Member Posts: 25
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had a lumptectomy Jan. 2000...no lymph node involvement but the her 2 neu oncogene. 4 A/C treatments and 42 radition treatments. I've been on tamoxifin since July and am feeling good. The severe hot flashes have diminished and my hair is back in a new way...a little grayer and slightly curlier but not as kinky as the original growth. I think the radiation has been the hardest to recover from...not the treatments themselves but the tender tissue that has taken a long time to recover. I can now sleep on my stomach without discomfort and it's been 10 months. I feel lucky and positive about the future and lucky to have found this site and all of you who have inspired me for many months with your courage and spunk. A friend died on Sunday and another is battling a recurrence. I know there is no way to make sense of it and the outcomes for cancer contrast with my imperitive to survive. I felt the need to share my story with you and be more present to this episode in our lives. I am grateful to have witnessed your conversations about breast cancer. You've helped me. Love, Luckyj

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  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #2
    Dearest Luckyi,
    It has been four years since my treatments for stage 3 with extensive lymphnode removal. I always find it interesting that when I am thinking about something someone always seems to have a message about it. Thanks for sharing.
    I have been fortunate to return to a life I once knew. I have been back working full time almost 2 years now. Can never do the job I did before cancer but can still be productive just the same. I struggle constantly knowing that I am alive when so many others, even friends and family, are not. It is hard finding the good in watching others suffer so, knowing all to well what they are feeling. It is hard facing our fears and moving forward, not staying stuck in the pain. I think this site goes along way to help people deal with these kind of issues, even though painful.
    There is so much courage and strength, visable to me, through the words left on the message board. I have learned so much.
    Thanks
    24242Tara

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