Good Morning All, I woke this morning with a smile on my face and determination in my heart.

california_artist
california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
Cancer! Pishaw! Onward and upward and such things. I'll just try harder that's all.

How about you? What are you guys planning on doing to have a marvey pooh life?


Love you,

Enjoy your day, whatever else there is, enjoy your day!

Breakfast- 1/2 organic lemon in filtered water+1/2 avocado with salsa. Both for my liver function. I'm no saint, so I also had a lovely cup of fresh ground french roast with creamer, that's right, Baby, creamer. Yikes. Hopefully there's more good stuff than stuff that'll kill you.
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Comments

  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • culka
    culka Member Posts: 149 Member
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Jill
    Best part of going back to work is that you CAN.
    Last year I was scare too, I went back to 2 full time jobs. First week I was dying, but that feeling "I can" was priceless.

    today morning menu: Smoothie- banana, frozen peaches and mango (from California, no sugar added), water and bunch of swiss chard.
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member
    culka said:

    Jill
    Best part of going back to work is that you CAN.
    Last year I was scare too, I went back to 2 full time jobs. First week I was dying, but that feeling "I can" was priceless.

    today morning menu: Smoothie- banana, frozen peaches and mango (from California, no sugar added), water and bunch of swiss chard.

    How to live the life we have left
    I've been pondering all that I have read today from all the threads. Should there be a site where we can chat about the REAL issues without people watching? What to eat? What to think about reports, etc. Well, I will finally chime in here.

    I think we need to live life in a balanced way - not all of anything. They say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". I am struggling with this. I think I work too many hours and it zaps alot of my precious energy. Yet I need my health insurance. I am trying to purge the extra stuff that I've collected and simplify my life - this takes time but well worth it. I am starting to clean as if I am dying. I'm sorry if this offends or shocks anyone, but I need to face this reality. I admire Linda for making that attorney appointment. I need to do the same. I need to get my will made. I've actually thought about my funeral and have talked a little with my hubby. I've booked an awesome soloist who will sing Ave Maria!! As I attended the funeral of my young priest last Sat - there were 70 priests on the altar for the mild mannered Polish priest who died - I thought that this would be the program I would want. I don't think it's maudlin - just practical. When I attended the funeral of my breast cancer friend who died after fighting valiantly for several YEARS - I liked the meditation exercise they did. That might be added to my program.

    I have thought that if I have a recurrence, I will quit my job like Linda is talking about. I will have to figure out the insurance problem. I will need time to really fight my disease and yet have some fun too. I would need to fill my time with meaningful things because too much free time thinking about cancer plays havoc with my brain and mood - I get scared, tearful, and anxious.

    I think we should have a thread HERE to talk about these practical things and things that are truthful. We have connected so much with each other. If we go elsewhere, I think that connection will be lost. Claudia, are you afraid to say something controversial or that you will be targeted as some wacko or censored? Maybe I didn't understand your reason clearly. I already asked ACS for a discussion board for NUTRITION AND ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS which went NOWHERE.

    Well, I guess I have said enough. Blessings to all you ladies and your families.

    Mary Ann
  • daisy366 said:

    How to live the life we have left
    I've been pondering all that I have read today from all the threads. Should there be a site where we can chat about the REAL issues without people watching? What to eat? What to think about reports, etc. Well, I will finally chime in here.

    I think we need to live life in a balanced way - not all of anything. They say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". I am struggling with this. I think I work too many hours and it zaps alot of my precious energy. Yet I need my health insurance. I am trying to purge the extra stuff that I've collected and simplify my life - this takes time but well worth it. I am starting to clean as if I am dying. I'm sorry if this offends or shocks anyone, but I need to face this reality. I admire Linda for making that attorney appointment. I need to do the same. I need to get my will made. I've actually thought about my funeral and have talked a little with my hubby. I've booked an awesome soloist who will sing Ave Maria!! As I attended the funeral of my young priest last Sat - there were 70 priests on the altar for the mild mannered Polish priest who died - I thought that this would be the program I would want. I don't think it's maudlin - just practical. When I attended the funeral of my breast cancer friend who died after fighting valiantly for several YEARS - I liked the meditation exercise they did. That might be added to my program.

    I have thought that if I have a recurrence, I will quit my job like Linda is talking about. I will have to figure out the insurance problem. I will need time to really fight my disease and yet have some fun too. I would need to fill my time with meaningful things because too much free time thinking about cancer plays havoc with my brain and mood - I get scared, tearful, and anxious.

    I think we should have a thread HERE to talk about these practical things and things that are truthful. We have connected so much with each other. If we go elsewhere, I think that connection will be lost. Claudia, are you afraid to say something controversial or that you will be targeted as some wacko or censored? Maybe I didn't understand your reason clearly. I already asked ACS for a discussion board for NUTRITION AND ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS which went NOWHERE.

    Well, I guess I have said enough. Blessings to all you ladies and your families.

    Mary Ann

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    you have a point, Jill
    I guess my "letting go" was not on the best thread for that info. But things do tend to take their own life sometimes. Something you said on this thread got me thinking - probably about going back to work.

    Actually this whole board is one big discussion when you think about it. I'm up for whatever.
  • Songflower
    Songflower Member Posts: 608
    daisy366 said:

    you have a point, Jill
    I guess my "letting go" was not on the best thread for that info. But things do tend to take their own life sometimes. Something you said on this thread got me thinking - probably about going back to work.

    Actually this whole board is one big discussion when you think about it. I'm up for whatever.

    I've had the same thoughts
    I've wished for a place we could "let it all hang out." But then sometimes I day dream and wish someone would stumble across these blogs and take them to heart, I mean be slapped on the face with the suffering and be motivated to do research to help us. But I think because it is open to the public we hold back some.

    Going back to work was hard for me. Still is. I too feel this is draining me too much and I like my health insurance and feel safe with it. I wonder though if I should be taking more walks and signing up for writing or painting classes. I wish I knew how I will do with this frightening cancer so I could make better decisions. If I knew I didn't have much time left I would quit now. I don't do well on chemo. Could I really have fun on chemo? My body hates it. I can't control my reaction to the drugs.

    We have talked about burial places and I gave my husband my preferences but left the final decision up to them. I don't know if I would plan my funeral, I feel it is for them, my family, whatever they would want to comfort them. We've done the legal stuff. It's easier to do before you are so sick. It is nice to share this hard feelings with you.
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
    daisy366 said:

    How to live the life we have left
    I've been pondering all that I have read today from all the threads. Should there be a site where we can chat about the REAL issues without people watching? What to eat? What to think about reports, etc. Well, I will finally chime in here.

    I think we need to live life in a balanced way - not all of anything. They say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". I am struggling with this. I think I work too many hours and it zaps alot of my precious energy. Yet I need my health insurance. I am trying to purge the extra stuff that I've collected and simplify my life - this takes time but well worth it. I am starting to clean as if I am dying. I'm sorry if this offends or shocks anyone, but I need to face this reality. I admire Linda for making that attorney appointment. I need to do the same. I need to get my will made. I've actually thought about my funeral and have talked a little with my hubby. I've booked an awesome soloist who will sing Ave Maria!! As I attended the funeral of my young priest last Sat - there were 70 priests on the altar for the mild mannered Polish priest who died - I thought that this would be the program I would want. I don't think it's maudlin - just practical. When I attended the funeral of my breast cancer friend who died after fighting valiantly for several YEARS - I liked the meditation exercise they did. That might be added to my program.

    I have thought that if I have a recurrence, I will quit my job like Linda is talking about. I will have to figure out the insurance problem. I will need time to really fight my disease and yet have some fun too. I would need to fill my time with meaningful things because too much free time thinking about cancer plays havoc with my brain and mood - I get scared, tearful, and anxious.

    I think we should have a thread HERE to talk about these practical things and things that are truthful. We have connected so much with each other. If we go elsewhere, I think that connection will be lost. Claudia, are you afraid to say something controversial or that you will be targeted as some wacko or censored? Maybe I didn't understand your reason clearly. I already asked ACS for a discussion board for NUTRITION AND ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS which went NOWHERE.

    Well, I guess I have said enough. Blessings to all you ladies and your families.

    Mary Ann

    Mary Ann
    There is no hope of avoiding people thinking I'm a bit off. I don't care at all about that. My concerns revolve around the dashing of hope. Let's take a look at a person with a cancer diagnosis coming here looking for answers to the basic questions. Mostly, they're looking for information about how to get through this and what to expect. I don't thik they need to hear the worst that I've discovered, which I feel needs to be put out there in order to effect more effort to a possible... I'm taking this discussion off line so I don't inadvertently do what I have tried diligently not to do all this time. I will say what needs to be said, and I don't care, as I've said about my reputation, I do care about hope dashing though.

    I'll email you and Jill and Diane if I can find her address. Hang on a bit, I've got some other things going on right now.

    Claudia
  • Mary Ann
    There is no hope of avoiding people thinking I'm a bit off. I don't care at all about that. My concerns revolve around the dashing of hope. Let's take a look at a person with a cancer diagnosis coming here looking for answers to the basic questions. Mostly, they're looking for information about how to get through this and what to expect. I don't thik they need to hear the worst that I've discovered, which I feel needs to be put out there in order to effect more effort to a possible... I'm taking this discussion off line so I don't inadvertently do what I have tried diligently not to do all this time. I will say what needs to be said, and I don't care, as I've said about my reputation, I do care about hope dashing though.

    I'll email you and Jill and Diane if I can find her address. Hang on a bit, I've got some other things going on right now.

    Claudia

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980

    I've had the same thoughts
    I've wished for a place we could "let it all hang out." But then sometimes I day dream and wish someone would stumble across these blogs and take them to heart, I mean be slapped on the face with the suffering and be motivated to do research to help us. But I think because it is open to the public we hold back some.

    Going back to work was hard for me. Still is. I too feel this is draining me too much and I like my health insurance and feel safe with it. I wonder though if I should be taking more walks and signing up for writing or painting classes. I wish I knew how I will do with this frightening cancer so I could make better decisions. If I knew I didn't have much time left I would quit now. I don't do well on chemo. Could I really have fun on chemo? My body hates it. I can't control my reaction to the drugs.

    We have talked about burial places and I gave my husband my preferences but left the final decision up to them. I don't know if I would plan my funeral, I feel it is for them, my family, whatever they would want to comfort them. We've done the legal stuff. It's easier to do before you are so sick. It is nice to share this hard feelings with you.

    To work or not to work; to estate plan or hide from those issues
    It was really good for my husband and I to talk about inheritance and all the scenarios for what would go to his kids - vs - my kids BEFORE we went to the attorney, and surprisingly helpful to talk about everything again in front of an objective outsider. I was surprised to learn that my husband also wants to be cremated (just like me!), and he surprised me with some extra generosity to MY grown kids in his own will (we each have 2 kids from former marriages), in appreciation for me leaving him 100% of my retirement savings intact. We are forming a trust for the grandchildren together, and he will now also add to the college fund I started for them. It was a good meeting and a good thing, and we left feeling peaceful and happy with each other and our plans.

    It will be hard for me to ease away from my work, as my business is also like one of my children as I have put so much of myself into it. But I'm making the move January 1, but staying on the payroll until I die because it's MY turn to get 'money for nothing' after putting everyone in the family on the payroll all these years! I know that I will still spend considerable time this next year transitioning and training so that I can really walk away from my business and know it'll survive. I'm excited by all this change. It may be happening sooner than I ever imagined, but this way I get to see my dreams of my boys taking over the business I built come true, and if they work it the right way, be assured of their financial security long-term.

    My worst fear, recurrance, has happened, and it's surprisingly liberating! The taxol alone won't be too hard on me, and if we decide we want to go somewhere, I won't hesitate to skip an infusion or push it back a few days to travel somewhere. I may not even wait for a remission to head off for an Alaskan cruise in the spring! I'm gonna be a HANDFUL from now on! LOOK OUT WORLD!
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    I've gotten emails from women who DIDN'T post recurrance,...
    I know of women who were at one time 'regulars' here, but when they had a recurrance they didn't post it. Instead I'd get an email and we'd work through it, just the 2 of us, off-board. And the reason for it was just that: to NOT steal away hope; to NOT send that shiver of fear into every heart.

    So maybe it was selfish of me to spill it all here. In the unfolding of my recent drama, I was with all of you, thinking that my story of "rising CA125 / questionable CT-Scan / PET-scan" would have a happy ending that would be cited as another example of proof that scary diagnostic results don't always mean recurrance. But it didn't turn out that way. (as far as we know). And by then, I already had everyone waiting on the edge of their seats, and I couldn't just leave you hanging unknowing. And I NEEDED you all, STILL need you all.

    So let's factor all that in when we think about holding back so as not to scare people or steal away hope. I filter everything I say to my family and friends, protecting them as much as I can from added pain or worry. I know you all do that too. This has to be the one place where the filters are off. People with recurrance are SCARY; I know that. But if the supports fall away at the darkest hour, what are we really doing here?

    What you ladies need to do is OFFSET my bad news and Fran's bad news and all news of recurrance with your own ENDLESS REMISSIONS! Offset the scary news with your own WONDERFUL inspiring news of CURES and cancer-free decades! That's an order!
  • I've gotten emails from women who DIDN'T post recurrance,...
    I know of women who were at one time 'regulars' here, but when they had a recurrance they didn't post it. Instead I'd get an email and we'd work through it, just the 2 of us, off-board. And the reason for it was just that: to NOT steal away hope; to NOT send that shiver of fear into every heart.

    So maybe it was selfish of me to spill it all here. In the unfolding of my recent drama, I was with all of you, thinking that my story of "rising CA125 / questionable CT-Scan / PET-scan" would have a happy ending that would be cited as another example of proof that scary diagnostic results don't always mean recurrance. But it didn't turn out that way. (as far as we know). And by then, I already had everyone waiting on the edge of their seats, and I couldn't just leave you hanging unknowing. And I NEEDED you all, STILL need you all.

    So let's factor all that in when we think about holding back so as not to scare people or steal away hope. I filter everything I say to my family and friends, protecting them as much as I can from added pain or worry. I know you all do that too. This has to be the one place where the filters are off. People with recurrance are SCARY; I know that. But if the supports fall away at the darkest hour, what are we really doing here?

    What you ladies need to do is OFFSET my bad news and Fran's bad news and all news of recurrance with your own ENDLESS REMISSIONS! Offset the scary news with your own WONDERFUL inspiring news of CURES and cancer-free decades! That's an order!

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member

    I've gotten emails from women who DIDN'T post recurrance,...
    I know of women who were at one time 'regulars' here, but when they had a recurrance they didn't post it. Instead I'd get an email and we'd work through it, just the 2 of us, off-board. And the reason for it was just that: to NOT steal away hope; to NOT send that shiver of fear into every heart.

    So maybe it was selfish of me to spill it all here. In the unfolding of my recent drama, I was with all of you, thinking that my story of "rising CA125 / questionable CT-Scan / PET-scan" would have a happy ending that would be cited as another example of proof that scary diagnostic results don't always mean recurrance. But it didn't turn out that way. (as far as we know). And by then, I already had everyone waiting on the edge of their seats, and I couldn't just leave you hanging unknowing. And I NEEDED you all, STILL need you all.

    So let's factor all that in when we think about holding back so as not to scare people or steal away hope. I filter everything I say to my family and friends, protecting them as much as I can from added pain or worry. I know you all do that too. This has to be the one place where the filters are off. People with recurrance are SCARY; I know that. But if the supports fall away at the darkest hour, what are we really doing here?

    What you ladies need to do is OFFSET my bad news and Fran's bad news and all news of recurrance with your own ENDLESS REMISSIONS! Offset the scary news with your own WONDERFUL inspiring news of CURES and cancer-free decades! That's an order!

    Wait just a minute there girlique
    Of course you should say what happened. I have absolutely no problem with that, you need us, we need you. that's not the issue at all. Wouldn't if have been wonderful if those women who did not want to upset the other women on the board had a place to go and just let it all hang out? No, we don't want to scare the newbies, sorry those of you that are, what I'm referring to is all the theoretical thoughts and ideas and speculation, all the what if this or what if that. Stuff that is not concrete but thoughts need to be nourished in the right atmosphere and don't think clogging up this board is the place to do that. I've already sent you and email explaining all the thought behind this. I'm waiting to get Diane's email to send it to her.

    Let's say we get together online and read those things recommended by one of us and discuss what the implications are. Then once the discussion is over if we feel we have something of import, we will come back here and say what we think.

    This sounds as though I am thinking of opting out of here, nothing could be farther than that. I would like to go off line here to be better when I post here without all the speculation. I definitely want a public forum, but for people who are not simply looking for information on whether or not, say it's cold in the room where they get their CT, which is a very real, very genuine concern.

    am I making any sense? The better question would be, do I ever make any sense????? Eh????????


    Actually, it's not something that needs a great deal of discussion as it's something I had decided to do. Anyone interested in chiming in, is more than welcome. I'm going to go have some much needed tea.

    Love and kisses,

    Claudia The Opinionated
  • I've had the same thoughts
    I've wished for a place we could "let it all hang out." But then sometimes I day dream and wish someone would stumble across these blogs and take them to heart, I mean be slapped on the face with the suffering and be motivated to do research to help us. But I think because it is open to the public we hold back some.

    Going back to work was hard for me. Still is. I too feel this is draining me too much and I like my health insurance and feel safe with it. I wonder though if I should be taking more walks and signing up for writing or painting classes. I wish I knew how I will do with this frightening cancer so I could make better decisions. If I knew I didn't have much time left I would quit now. I don't do well on chemo. Could I really have fun on chemo? My body hates it. I can't control my reaction to the drugs.

    We have talked about burial places and I gave my husband my preferences but left the final decision up to them. I don't know if I would plan my funeral, I feel it is for them, my family, whatever they would want to comfort them. We've done the legal stuff. It's easier to do before you are so sick. It is nice to share this hard feelings with you.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Songflower
    Songflower Member Posts: 608

    To work or not to work; to estate plan or hide from those issues
    It was really good for my husband and I to talk about inheritance and all the scenarios for what would go to his kids - vs - my kids BEFORE we went to the attorney, and surprisingly helpful to talk about everything again in front of an objective outsider. I was surprised to learn that my husband also wants to be cremated (just like me!), and he surprised me with some extra generosity to MY grown kids in his own will (we each have 2 kids from former marriages), in appreciation for me leaving him 100% of my retirement savings intact. We are forming a trust for the grandchildren together, and he will now also add to the college fund I started for them. It was a good meeting and a good thing, and we left feeling peaceful and happy with each other and our plans.

    It will be hard for me to ease away from my work, as my business is also like one of my children as I have put so much of myself into it. But I'm making the move January 1, but staying on the payroll until I die because it's MY turn to get 'money for nothing' after putting everyone in the family on the payroll all these years! I know that I will still spend considerable time this next year transitioning and training so that I can really walk away from my business and know it'll survive. I'm excited by all this change. It may be happening sooner than I ever imagined, but this way I get to see my dreams of my boys taking over the business I built come true, and if they work it the right way, be assured of their financial security long-term.

    My worst fear, recurrance, has happened, and it's surprisingly liberating! The taxol alone won't be too hard on me, and if we decide we want to go somewhere, I won't hesitate to skip an infusion or push it back a few days to travel somewhere. I may not even wait for a remission to head off for an Alaskan cruise in the spring! I'm gonna be a HANDFUL from now on! LOOK OUT WORLD!

    On When to Hold Back
    Dearest Linda,

    I never ever thought you shouldn't share your recurrance on line. Actually, I wasn't thinking about that at all. I think your sharing completely and without inhibitions helps so many of us. I often think that many of us could be as open as you are if we had a forum that wasn't open to the public. For myself, I would like to see more openness and sharing. I often hold back my feelings (trust me I can gush) because it is a public forum. There are so many emotional feelings to deal with this cancer. I often agonize over little decisions myself regarding my treatment, prognosis, feelings, worries etc that I feel I would be using a public forum like this inappropriately. Should those feelings be dealt with in therapy? Is this therapy? Would I be dragging everyone down with my little worries?

    Sometimes my family gets a little worried about me when I worry about the people I've met here and how they're doing. They feel that I need to get away from cancer and not more involved in it. We all know we need a break. There are many issues here with no hard fast answers. I am glad we are sharing more without fear. I just thought perhaps we could do more if somehow we had our own forum that was more private through the American Cancer Society.

    Thank you all for listening to me. Sometimes I am afraid to listen to the recurrances and sometimes not. But I suspect that I will be like you, and feel liberated from the worry if it occurs. I love you all.

    I still think Oprah should unite us all on a television show and then throw a few million into research!
    Diane
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member

    Wait just a minute there girlique
    Of course you should say what happened. I have absolutely no problem with that, you need us, we need you. that's not the issue at all. Wouldn't if have been wonderful if those women who did not want to upset the other women on the board had a place to go and just let it all hang out? No, we don't want to scare the newbies, sorry those of you that are, what I'm referring to is all the theoretical thoughts and ideas and speculation, all the what if this or what if that. Stuff that is not concrete but thoughts need to be nourished in the right atmosphere and don't think clogging up this board is the place to do that. I've already sent you and email explaining all the thought behind this. I'm waiting to get Diane's email to send it to her.

    Let's say we get together online and read those things recommended by one of us and discuss what the implications are. Then once the discussion is over if we feel we have something of import, we will come back here and say what we think.

    This sounds as though I am thinking of opting out of here, nothing could be farther than that. I would like to go off line here to be better when I post here without all the speculation. I definitely want a public forum, but for people who are not simply looking for information on whether or not, say it's cold in the room where they get their CT, which is a very real, very genuine concern.

    am I making any sense? The better question would be, do I ever make any sense????? Eh????????


    Actually, it's not something that needs a great deal of discussion as it's something I had decided to do. Anyone interested in chiming in, is more than welcome. I'm going to go have some much needed tea.

    Love and kisses,

    Claudia The Opinionated

    Diane, I like the Oprah idea
    Diane, I like the Oprah idea ALOTTTTT!!
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member

    On When to Hold Back
    Dearest Linda,

    I never ever thought you shouldn't share your recurrance on line. Actually, I wasn't thinking about that at all. I think your sharing completely and without inhibitions helps so many of us. I often think that many of us could be as open as you are if we had a forum that wasn't open to the public. For myself, I would like to see more openness and sharing. I often hold back my feelings (trust me I can gush) because it is a public forum. There are so many emotional feelings to deal with this cancer. I often agonize over little decisions myself regarding my treatment, prognosis, feelings, worries etc that I feel I would be using a public forum like this inappropriately. Should those feelings be dealt with in therapy? Is this therapy? Would I be dragging everyone down with my little worries?

    Sometimes my family gets a little worried about me when I worry about the people I've met here and how they're doing. They feel that I need to get away from cancer and not more involved in it. We all know we need a break. There are many issues here with no hard fast answers. I am glad we are sharing more without fear. I just thought perhaps we could do more if somehow we had our own forum that was more private through the American Cancer Society.

    Thank you all for listening to me. Sometimes I am afraid to listen to the recurrances and sometimes not. But I suspect that I will be like you, and feel liberated from the worry if it occurs. I love you all.

    I still think Oprah should unite us all on a television show and then throw a few million into research!
    Diane


  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member

    I've had the same thoughts
    I've wished for a place we could "let it all hang out." But then sometimes I day dream and wish someone would stumble across these blogs and take them to heart, I mean be slapped on the face with the suffering and be motivated to do research to help us. But I think because it is open to the public we hold back some.

    Going back to work was hard for me. Still is. I too feel this is draining me too much and I like my health insurance and feel safe with it. I wonder though if I should be taking more walks and signing up for writing or painting classes. I wish I knew how I will do with this frightening cancer so I could make better decisions. If I knew I didn't have much time left I would quit now. I don't do well on chemo. Could I really have fun on chemo? My body hates it. I can't control my reaction to the drugs.

    We have talked about burial places and I gave my husband my preferences but left the final decision up to them. I don't know if I would plan my funeral, I feel it is for them, my family, whatever they would want to comfort them. We've done the legal stuff. It's easier to do before you are so sick. It is nice to share this hard feelings with you.

    never mind
  • TiggersDoBounce
    TiggersDoBounce Member Posts: 408
    daisy366 said:

    How to live the life we have left
    I've been pondering all that I have read today from all the threads. Should there be a site where we can chat about the REAL issues without people watching? What to eat? What to think about reports, etc. Well, I will finally chime in here.

    I think we need to live life in a balanced way - not all of anything. They say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". I am struggling with this. I think I work too many hours and it zaps alot of my precious energy. Yet I need my health insurance. I am trying to purge the extra stuff that I've collected and simplify my life - this takes time but well worth it. I am starting to clean as if I am dying. I'm sorry if this offends or shocks anyone, but I need to face this reality. I admire Linda for making that attorney appointment. I need to do the same. I need to get my will made. I've actually thought about my funeral and have talked a little with my hubby. I've booked an awesome soloist who will sing Ave Maria!! As I attended the funeral of my young priest last Sat - there were 70 priests on the altar for the mild mannered Polish priest who died - I thought that this would be the program I would want. I don't think it's maudlin - just practical. When I attended the funeral of my breast cancer friend who died after fighting valiantly for several YEARS - I liked the meditation exercise they did. That might be added to my program.

    I have thought that if I have a recurrence, I will quit my job like Linda is talking about. I will have to figure out the insurance problem. I will need time to really fight my disease and yet have some fun too. I would need to fill my time with meaningful things because too much free time thinking about cancer plays havoc with my brain and mood - I get scared, tearful, and anxious.

    I think we should have a thread HERE to talk about these practical things and things that are truthful. We have connected so much with each other. If we go elsewhere, I think that connection will be lost. Claudia, are you afraid to say something controversial or that you will be targeted as some wacko or censored? Maybe I didn't understand your reason clearly. I already asked ACS for a discussion board for NUTRITION AND ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS which went NOWHERE.

    Well, I guess I have said enough. Blessings to all you ladies and your families.

    Mary Ann

    MaryAnn,

    I think your post was spot on....I have thought so many of the thoughts you have been entertaining...

    I learn so much from all of you :)


    Laurie
  • Northwoodsgirl
    Northwoodsgirl Member Posts: 571
    As a "newbie" to the
    As a "newbie" to the discussion thread I have found your gentle mix of real emotion with practicality very helpful. I do agree that it is hard to bare one's soul during the most difficult times of the cancer battle/journey but where else can one do it?
    You ladies are the only people that I know who actually get what we are all going through.
    Balancing hope with the brutal realities of what we all have been through....the ups the downs....feeling pretty good and feeling absolutely beyond what mere words can describe. The physical, emotional and spritual roller coaster.

    I also like to hear what everyone is eating these days. I am making the transition to as much organic as possible, avoiding sugar ( reading lots of labels) no caffiene (sp?) and avoiding white flour. But would like more knowledge on nutrition.

    I also am thinking about trying to go back to work again. I had an executive level position but don't think I want that lifestyle or the stress. But of course there is the issue of insurance.....