I am new here. I wasn't sure where to post.

tar
tar Member Posts: 3
in Kidney Cancer #1
Hi, I lost my dad to cancer in April of this year. Although, I am 28 with a family of my own I have a hard time every now and then. My husband is great at comforting me. Work and hobbies keep me occupied. (I am a nurse and love what I do.) These past two days have been hard.. I've been thinking a lot about my dad and its the memories that make me hurt. Its so weird to say that my dad is gone. Just like that. I expected to deal with a parent's death later in life, not now. I've become sad and angry sometimes. I try not to show it around my family but I'm sure they see it as me being grumpy. Anyway... Any advice? Tips? Hopes? I need others who have been where I am now to help me. Its strange, I thought I was doing so well... Then this hit me a few days ago. I work nights as a RN.. I am not working tonight but I cannot sleep. I keep remembering my dad and I keep getting sad. I want to feel better. I am angry but I am not angry at anyone. So where do I channel it?

Comments

  • rickfighter
    rickfighter Member Posts: 2
    #2
    Cancer support
    Hi, sorry to hear about your dad. It will take some time and effort but, I think the best way is to think on a positive note, because he would not want you feel the way you do.

    Look back at his life and focus on the positive things about him. I wish you the best and will send him my prayers.

    -Rick
    My Cancer Story
  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,042 Member
    #3
    rickfighter said:

    Cancer support
    Hi, sorry to hear about your dad. It will take some time and effort but, I think the best way is to think on a positive note, because he would not want you feel the way you do.

    Look back at his life and focus on the positive things about him. I wish you the best and will send him my prayers.

    -Rick
    My Cancer Story

    Memories
    TAR
    This group can and is great. May I suggest you begin a journal and when you begin to think of your father, write down a story, event, saying, etc. That way you will be able to express what you are feeling and give the future generations word pictures of someone they don't know. They will feel your pain and loss, learn something about you and your dad, and know that family loving can continue through them.
    My regrets for you and your family.
    donna_lee
  • tar
    tar Member Posts: 3
    #4
    rickfighter said:

    Cancer support
    Hi, sorry to hear about your dad. It will take some time and effort but, I think the best way is to think on a positive note, because he would not want you feel the way you do.

    Look back at his life and focus on the positive things about him. I wish you the best and will send him my prayers.

    -Rick
    My Cancer Story

    To Rick, thank you. I appreciate your
    Thank you. I appreciate your response. I was explaining to my husband yesterday about how I've been feeling.. and its a lot of mixed emotions. Lately the happy memories have been upsetting me and its been occuring more than usual. I felt that I was at peace- we had all expected this outcome, I said good bye to my father, I am thankful he is no longer suffering, and I feel we did the best we could in taking care of him. Do... Why his death has been bothering me so much, I dont understand. I guess thats just grieving?? I know my siblings have hard days as wel, but we all have families, jobs, etc to keep us moving and we get through those tough times. And my father wouldn't want us worrying about him.

    One thing my husband said to me was that maybe I go to this place when I'm stressed/upset/tired. And maybe he's right. Work has been so stressful lately, I have felt overwhelmed with things to do around the house and on top of that I'm not sleeping well... So maybe these sad thoughts is just where I eventually end up after feeling tired and stressed...
  • tar
    tar Member Posts: 3
    #5
    donna_lee said:

    Memories
    TAR
    This group can and is great. May I suggest you begin a journal and when you begin to think of your father, write down a story, event, saying, etc. That way you will be able to express what you are feeling and give the future generations word pictures of someone they don't know. They will feel your pain and loss, learn something about you and your dad, and know that family loving can continue through them.
    My regrets for you and your family.
    donna_lee

    to donna_lee
    Thank you for your response. The thought of a journal has crossed my mind a few times.. that or perhaps writing letters to my two children, they can read it when they've grown up. I figured it might be good to try to dissect my thoughts/feelings on paper. It might help me realize some things or perhaps it will just help to get those feelings out there. My 2 year old knows what happened and knows he was my father and so she knows why I am upset sometimes.. but I would love for her to know a bit more about my father. Thanks for the suggestion! I think I will try this out!!

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