Daddy Dearest

It was a long, hard battle which lasted for a little over a year. It's been a very emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Unfortunately my father succumbed to cancer early Thursday morning. His cancer originated in his right lung, but eventually spread to his other lung, esophagus, spine, brain, and liver. He ended up having a seizure Wednesday afternoon while sitting on our couch in the living room. He was rushed to the hospital where we spent the next 13 hours. He was given a lot of medication to help control the seizures, however these medications rendered him extremely incoherent and it almost seemed like he was in a constant daze. My father's final wish was to pass away at home where he's most comfortable. They released him at 1AM from the hospital and gave him a time limit of approx. 4 weeks. They got my father home and placed him on the hospital bed which is set up in our living room. We were going to start Hospice the next morning....

Before going to sleep on the couch beside his hospital bed, I kissed my father, told him how much I love him, and assured him I'll be sleeping next to him if he needed me. Although in a haze and incoherent, I saw his eyes shift over to mine and he made a slight noise, almost as to acknowledge my presence.

I fell asleep sometime between 2:30AM-3:00AM, and awoke at 8AM to find he had passed away.

To say I'm devastated and heartbroken is a complete understatement.

My father was such a lovable, kind, funny, intelligent man.

I didn't realize just how many lives my father touched until people in the neighborhood came over to express their sympathy and offer condolences.

He was certainly immensely loved and will be forever missed. I can only hope to be as wonderful and amazing a parent as he was (and my mother, who also passed away on a hospital bed in our living room 8 years ago from cancer).

Daddy...we fought a hard with mommy, forever in peace, my two loving angels. RIP, January 14th, 1950 - July 7th, 2011. I love you forever.


  • tanker sgv
    tanker sgv Member Posts: 124
    I am saddened by your losses
    I am saddened by your losses and am truely sorry. I know of no words to say that would help the pain of sarrow u must feel. Just take comfort in the joy your parents must be experiencing finally be able to be together again. I have walked in similar shoes you now find yourself in so please get some needed rest and vent often as its better then holding it in.
  • karenbeth
    karenbeth Member Posts: 194
    I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad he passed away at home with you next to him. Peace to you,
  • Faithful_Angel
    Faithful_Angel Member Posts: 86
    I am at a complete loss. I
    I am at a complete loss. I have been staying off the boards lately because i couldn't handle all the grief people are going through including my own. I am so very sorry. I wish there was more i could say my heart is breaking for you. I know we have been walking in mirror images for the past few months. And soon to be walking in this one too. If you need to talk or vent or scream or whatever you know how to get ahold of me. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you take this transition in stride. Most importantly take your time to grieve but take care of yourself my heart is with you.
  • lovingwifedeb
    lovingwifedeb Member Posts: 183
    My Condolences
    Losing both parents to cancer... my heart goes out to you as you have fought a battle just as your parents have fought. I cannot say that they are in a "better place"... as I believe the better place is by your side. BUT... I do believe your father is no longer in any pain now and your heart must be relieved to know that.

    Love... it will never die. You will survive and and your life will become meaningful again with joy and light. Your father would want to see you, his daughter smile again with happiness as that is what is in a father's heart.

    Our pain in being left behind has to have meaning... but I don't think our loved ones would want it to tear us apart. They fought to live... so should we.

    Peace to to DaughterDearest.

    Husband May 27th, 2011
    Mother May 19th, 2011
  • ButterflyLake
    ButterflyLake Member Posts: 44
    Deepest condolences
    Mom passed on July 12. She was slightly older (born in 1948), and I know it feels for you, as it has for me, that it was too soon.

    I had a laugh in the limo on the way to the service, because "Only the Good Die Young" came on the radio.

    I also didn't realize how many lives she touched until three times more people than we estimated showed up at her service! It was a full house.

    As part of my tribute to my mom, I've been saying a prayer and lighting a candle every day for caregivers and those who are passed and are in the process of transitioning. If you private message me his name and your mom's name, I'll add them to the list.

    Sending you lots of good thoughts and hoping that you find peace that surpasses all understanding, again, from one caregiver-daughter to another.