lost

My mother has just been diagnosed with lung cancer which has spread to her brain. I feel scared, horrible, helpless, selfish, and terrified all at once, and so much more. We are extremely close, yet she will not take me calls, return my texts, and has already indicated through her husband that she does not want to see me. I've been told it's too painful for her right now because it's all so new and she's speaking with no one, just resting with her many pain medications in the hospital as they are doing test after test. I know this is in no way about me, but the anguish I feel due to being cut off from her is destroying me. I've been assured after she starts radiation and sees she has the strength to fight this thing, she will of course then want me to come and visit. Any advice would be beyond appreciative. My mother is my best friend, moral compass, and mentor. I can barely take a breath every time I think of her.