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PET/CT scheduled the 11th...it's a biggy!!!! Nervous.....

idlehunters
idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hey guys!
Well, I just finished a PM to Lisa42 and boy did I unload on her. She must think I'm a real pistol! Lisa.... thank you for being my friend. Really girlfriend. I sure needed that.

I think sometimes we all just let stuff build up and "pretend" its ok when really we are feeling its not... thats the place I was in.

It's this upcoming PET/CT that has my brain spinning. I am getting it done at St. Louis U..which is where I had Cyberknife. It's the follow up scan from the procedure. I will get to see the Rad Onc 3 hours after the test to go over results... I do love that..since at my normal place it's a week wait. Everything has been going so GOOD that I just keep waiting for the ball to drop. Do you all do that???

I don't usually get like this....ok Cheryl..Buzz... Phil...Craig..Annabelle.. not since the beginning anyway. You all did a very good job knocking the whine out of me!!! and thank you forever!! This is a major turning point in my treatment and it is just so vital that the scan be good. It's all part of the master plan with the change to alternatives. Everything else has panned out.... this just HAS to.

Was that just whining???? LOL..... oooops...old habits die hard!!! LOL... Thank you guys for listening.... Love you all

Jennie

Comments

  • bruins1971
    bruins1971 Member Posts: 227
    Great results coming
    Hey there Jeannie I'd say you certainly have the right to whine if I thought you were. But honestly your not whining your just venting to others who are walking the same walk. I know exactly how you feel as I just finished my 12 rounds of chemo with a colon and liver surgery mixed in over the last 10 months. My scan is Feb 1st and I'll get the results on the 4th but I know God has seen fit to cure me of this disease. I pray your petscan will go great as well.

    Bobby in Dallas
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522
    Jennie,you are in my prayers
    Jennie,you are in my prayers as always.Hope a good result for your scan.Best luck with it.Take care.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,712 **
    Scan
    You are going to be fine. Just feel that from the bottom of my heart. Just remember the big party you threw this summer -wish I'd could have come, but you, my dear, are a fighter and you have had such good results lately that this scan will do you good too. It's hard waiting, and the anticipation is going to be awful, but remember we are here to get you through. Whining, oh there is never anyone or anything that any of us do on this board that constitutes whining. We are just expressing our feelings and if you don't do that to the people that love you here on this board than we aren't a board of any merit. That dear is our whole purpose. Love and hugs and peace filled until you get that good scan back :)

    Hugs! Kim
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,036
    you're entitled
    Jennie, you're so entitled to whine if you want to. However, I am thinking you will be smiling and dancing after you receive the scan results. Praying it is GREAT!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    Jennie
    I get where you're coming from right now. Breathing, meditation, and hard physical exercise are just some things that get me through. Hangin' with you!

    all the best, Leslie
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043
    tootsie1 said:

    you're entitled
    Jennie, you're so entitled to whine if you want to. However, I am thinking you will be smiling and dancing after you receive the scan results. Praying it is GREAT!

    *hugs*
    Gail

    JENNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.......
    hi.....member me, its buzz....with a z. yep, im your ole buddy, yep thats me, well, I was just wonderin', ya know, to be so outspoken you sure do let something minor as the little c word bring you down....naw, ain't happening here, not while im still breathing...now, why ya gotta go and act like that for, you just make yourself upset over somethin' you got power over, and don't tell me that its got you all harnessed up cuz I know better ....you don't let nuthin get ya down. We got one round in this rodeo and you, like me, will not allow this to beat us down, cuz after our little pity party we get pissed. then is when c moves out of the way cuz we don't have the time to waste fighting that mess off, we got other things on our mind, other people to see, and things to do, and c doesn't fit in our agendas. So, now that I got all that mess said here's the brass tacks of the whole matter...spoken by a woman not to very long ago and when she reads this (as I know she will) she will know that yes it came from her......Think Backwards.....whats the worse thing that can happen....then each step backwards from that is considered a victory. Remember, small victories will normally lead to a large scale win...But, please , as a friend of mine, don't set yourself up so high that if its not all great news that it becomes devastating...I did that once, it cost me dearly...I hope that all is well, and I mean all...I just think enough about my friends here to want the best for each of you no matter what the outcome is.......Know that no matter what, it will be ok, and go with that, and then take all the small victories out of it that you can get, and celebrate that...In my way of thinking (scary huh)I figure that for me at Stage 4 is simply to know that my options and treatment regimes have a higher percentage to come at a faster rate than most, but Im ok with that, I now simply plan a little smarter than the grasshopper did....I am now more of an ant type. (hopefully you have heard the fable so I don't come off as an idiot here) LOL...but I have come to realize this...that no matter the amount of money we have, nor the amount of gratefulness we share, or how much we give to the Salvation Army ringers at Christmas time, its how we feel deep within ourselves to be totally in control with whatever life brings to us, and to be assured that no matter the outcome that we do everything in our power to be as soothing to ourselves as possible, and to also keep our calm around those that we love and love us back. All will be ok girlfriend, it will always be ok...no matter the outcome.......Love to you, buzz (with a z )
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Not whining
    Jennie,

    This was not whining, this was venting. I do believe you will get the results you want. Good luck!
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    Hey Jennie -
    Re:
    "I just keep waiting for the ball to drop. Do you all do that??? "

    I don't know about everyone else, but I've been waiting for that
    ball to drop for over four years and counting. I get a hangnail
    and I think it's cuticle cancer... yeah, baa-aa-aad..

    But ya'know sumptin'? You really are cute when you whine.
    (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

    You're doin' -A- OK.

    Keep groovin'.

    John
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    Not at all!
    Hey Jennie...
    Not at all- I did not think you are a "pistol", lol! I think we both needed it, both ways! Sometimes we just need someone else who's been "in the trenches" to share it with.
    Well, I will definitely be thinking of you and praying for you for this upcoming scan.
    I'll know by the end of the week when mine will be, too. We're in this together :)
    Take care my friend, and unload any old time!!

    :),
    Lisa
  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238
    Hey Jennie....whatever it is
    Hey Jennie....whatever it is you're doing, you're doing it well. So don't change a thing :) Tuesday is going to go fine and we're all going to be here waiting to hear you say so.

    Smiling for you, Gail
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    plh4gail said:

    Hey Jennie....whatever it is
    Hey Jennie....whatever it is you're doing, you're doing it well. So don't change a thing :) Tuesday is going to go fine and we're all going to be here waiting to hear you say so.

    Smiling for you, Gail

    Yep, yep!
    Good vibes,

    Yep, yep!

    Good vibes, positive thoughts!
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    Nana b said:

    Yep, yep!
    Good vibes,

    Yep, yep!

    Good vibes, positive thoughts!

    Good vibes, prayers and thoughts from here!
    Hugs!
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    pepebcn said:

    Good vibes, prayers and thoughts from here!
    Hugs!

    I'm sending good thoughts and wishes for you!
    I'm sending good thoughts and wishes for you!

    Lizzy
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Oh Jennie -
    Vent away. Whine away. Do whatever gets you through the next 24 hours, 48 hours, whatever. Scananxiety flows through everyone, patient and caregiver. You beat this once, it popped up again, you beat it down and will continue to do so, Donna, Eric, Kimby and a whole host of others would want nothing less of you.

    Take care and have a glass of wine - Tina
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392
    Jen
    Well, I've had to talk you "off the ledge" a time or two, since I've known you:)

    This is nowhere near like the early days - I'll say it for Lisa, "You were a pistol!" And thinking about it, you still are - but in the best of ways!

    I'll be on the sideline waitin' to hear from you....hope it is good news:)

    -Craig
  • iluvmms
    iluvmms Member Posts: 134
    geotina said:

    Oh Jennie -
    Vent away. Whine away. Do whatever gets you through the next 24 hours, 48 hours, whatever. Scananxiety flows through everyone, patient and caregiver. You beat this once, it popped up again, you beat it down and will continue to do so, Donna, Eric, Kimby and a whole host of others would want nothing less of you.

    Take care and have a glass of wine - Tina

    i feel your pain!!
    I am going through the same thing. I have my 9 month scan on wednesday. Needless to say, not sleeping well and all I can think about!! Good luck with yours!!

    Christy
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    Sundanceh said:

    Jen
    Well, I've had to talk you "off the ledge" a time or two, since I've known you:)

    This is nowhere near like the early days - I'll say it for Lisa, "You were a pistol!" And thinking about it, you still are - but in the best of ways!

    I'll be on the sideline waitin' to hear from you....hope it is good news:)

    -Craig

    Craig! how you doing?
    When are you having CT to check how radio worked ?
    Hugs brother!
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392
    pepebcn said:

    Craig! how you doing?
    When are you having CT to check how radio worked ?
    Hugs brother!

    Pepe
    January 24th next scan....seems a little early, had one not too long ago...I'm not expecting much news either way...onc said with all the inflammation, it will be many, many months before we might know.

    The goal will be to see if there is spread...they might see something in the rad area or they might not be able to see still....they fried 10% more of my lung with the treatment.

    See you, man!

    -Craig
  • krf
    krf Member Posts: 98
    Roger(Crow71) has his CT
    Roger(Crow71) has his CT tomorrow as well! Tomorrow will be a great day for scans- it just HAS to be. There is something about 1/11/11- kind of magical, right?
    Honestly I am hardly breathing in anticipation of the scan tomorrow. After the Folfiri got an F, this latest round of Folfox better be sending things back in the right direction.
    Roger and I will be thinking about you Jenni and sending you lots of love tomorrow. Lets make some magic on 1/11/11!
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787
    krf said:

    Roger(Crow71) has his CT
    Roger(Crow71) has his CT tomorrow as well! Tomorrow will be a great day for scans- it just HAS to be. There is something about 1/11/11- kind of magical, right?
    Honestly I am hardly breathing in anticipation of the scan tomorrow. After the Folfiri got an F, this latest round of Folfox better be sending things back in the right direction.
    Roger and I will be thinking about you Jenni and sending you lots of love tomorrow. Lets make some magic on 1/11/11!

    Thanks Guys!!!....
    Bobby- TY for prayers
    Fight for my love- TY for prayers
    Kim- TY for a much needed pep talk. You are so good with words!!
    Gail- TY for prayers and you can bet I will be dancing with you!!!
    Buzz- with a Z- hugging you cause i have missed you! The grasshopper/ant thing....the only bell that rings is KungFu..LOL. I still catch your drift and thats cool. TY for the encouragement.
    Les- TY for hangin with me!!!
    Anne- TY for your well wishes.
    John, John, John!!- You are off the chain dude! Sure would like to meet you someday. TY for the words.
    Lisa- SOOOOO glad we are in the trenches TOGETHER!!
    Kathy- Girl.... YOU have the awesome attitude... ALWAYS!!!
    Gail- TY for the kind words.
    Nanab- taking your vibes with me tomorrow...ty!
    Pepe- Hugs back at ya
    Lizzy- TY for that!
    Tina- How sweet of you to mention the dynamic trio...but thats YOU!!! TY!!
    Christy- Good luck to you too on Wednesday!!! Let us know results.

    CRAIG- when I am in the CT chamber I am gonna close my eyes and think about all the fun we had at CP8....the nites at the bar...those huge toxic drinks you kept ordering...laughing til we cried, couldn't breathe and pee'd our pants.... you being soooo polluted...ooops! Did I say that out loud???? LOL...Gotcha!!!

    Kim and Roger- Love your way of thinking!!! 1/11/11...gotta be an omen... and it's saying WE are getting #1 results ALL the way!!! Sending luv 2u2. Let us know results asap.

    I am not going to go into this tomorrow EXPECTING excellent results. Ya.. I will be disappointed in any new crap is growing.... but it is what it is.... I am extremely lucky and blessed to be where I am. Thank you all for having my back! As soon as I get back tomorrow I will post results. You ALL take care!

    Jennie
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342
    Jennie
    Jennie,

    You are in my prayers. You have been through so much..... it will be good!
    Take care. We're all with you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Now, now
    Settle down little girl. LOL. I just got my good news last Friday, and here I am, waiting for the next cancer to come along, wondering which one it will be. Talk about STUPID!!!
    I keep reminding myself, girl, sit back, relax, enjoy yourself damn it. I'm trying hard to listen to myself. LOL.
    So hun, sit back, relax, no amount of worry is going to change a dang thing.
    I know, I know, easy for me to sit here on the sidelines and say that.
    I've got faith in you and that your cyberknife docs did a fine job and all will be okay. That's my opinion and I'm holding on to it.
    Will be thinking about you tomorrow, sending a cyber hand holding your way.
    Winter Marie
  • sasjourney
    sasjourney Member Posts: 395
    Sending love and prayers
    Jennie,

    I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Stay positive and try not to worry too much...I know that is very difficult. Can't wait to hear your great news!

    Big hugs,

    Sara