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I don't know what to do now

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

first i would like to say happy new year .well my husdband Jorge just got off chemo the other day .and last night he was not feeling very good .i can also see that he's down and out and sad he told me that he's sick of being sick he also said that the chemo is killing him and i dont know what to say or doing so i just hug him and i tell him how much i love him but i'm not sure thats working anymore.this was his 10th chemo what can i do hugs to everyone Tina

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Please take some time to at least read about some of the ways
that the side effects of chemo and radiation can be treated?

There are many alternative things that can be used, and that are
used quite successfully.

You can do a search of this forum, and locate many individuals
that have used alternative ways to combat both the side effects of
"conventional" treatment, as an adjunct to "conventional" treatment,
and as an alternative to "conventional" treatment.

My personal philosophy is that no medicine that is intended
to make you better, should make you sick in doing so.

Each of us has to find the way that we feel is best for us,
and no-one should insist that one way is better than another.
That holds true for every treatment, conventional or otherwise.

Please do some research? It might really be worth the time.

Complementary and Alternative Therapies For Cancer Patients

Information

Good luck; better health!

John

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Wow many more rounds? Posibility of surgery ? As per I remember chemo is working fairly well on him isn't?
How much it shrunk? If you would remain me all that, I cut be more helpful ,Hugs!.
Cheer up!

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

pepe we dont know what the doctors plan is the chemo doc told us that the colon doc want more chemo to make the tumors smaller jorge is having a ct scan at the end of this month .his cea is at 2.6 and the last time he had a ct scan the one in the liver was 3.2 cm and the one in the colon was 3.4cm so thats al i know . hugs tina

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

It seems he is a perfect candidate for surgery with just on small met on the liver, so probably they are shrinking them before operate!And after that he will be asked wether he wants more chemo or not as after the surgery probably will be NED, so then, is your choice wether to continue in chemo or not.So resuming! He needs a goal ! and the goal is to be operated ,if he would have a goal he would agree to continue with chemo until achieve the target!Without a goal is so difficult to fight for something,it seems currently he does not know what's his future, he does not know if he must be on chemo for life! and this is very difficult! I would suggest to start to speak with the surgeon about the possibility to be operated and fix an approximated date if chemo continues shrinking the tumors ! At least it was my case!
Hope it helped my dearest couple!.
Hugs!

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

This Friday we will be seeing the chemo doctor i will be asking to see the colon doctor to see whats her plans . thanks pepe

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

I find Jorge's feelings perfectly reasonable considering the amount of chemo he has done. Tina it does make you very very sick and one does get very very tired of being sick. If there were a magic wand I would wave over both of you but I can't. the best I can do is say keep on keeping on....some here have fought through again again and sometimes we come out NED and sometimes we are still here....

Jorge will be tiring out now and wondering if it is all worth it and just wanting to be normal again. Maybe some of our care-givers could chime in with help for you Tina.

holding your hands and in my heart.....

maggie

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Thank you so much for your input in what jorge is going thru i cant say i know what he is going thru to him because i dont know but with the help from you and everyone here you guys can tell me what to do or say .the only thing i know is that i love him so much i would lie down and die for him just to be better but we all know i cant do that and i also know how hard this is as a caregiver .so thank you so much hun hugs tina

ketziah35
Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

I sent you a PM.

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3337
Joined: Jan 2010

Living with this disease is an emotional rollercoaster ride for patient, care giver and loved ones.

It seems right now Jorge is in one of the valley of dispair. Being by his side, holding him close and letting him know you are there every step of the way is what you can do best.
I know you wish you could do more.

Sounds like he might get some benifit from something fun or silly...just to remind him that there is still laughter to be had.

I would also call the doc and let him know just how Jorge is feeling sick. Perhaps there is something which he could prescribe to help.

Hoping that this is a temporary situation and that Jorge finds every day easier to deal with all this.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2118
Joined: Oct 2009

Jorge is probably sick and tired of being sick and tired, worried about the future, worried that he is going through all of this and what will happen next, fear of the unknown, fear for you and your family, etc. My George went through that and give him some space, it will pass. If it does go on too long though, maybe he needs to talk through this stuff with a cancer specialist.

Take care - Tina

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Tina,
I wish I had some great words for you. All I can say is I know how da*n hard it is to watch your husband go through this. When Dick had those days I gave him space, I did not talk a lot but I was around if he needed me. It might mean I was in the room reading and he was on the couch or I was just some how close by. I keep trying to make sure I am in as peaceful place as possible as well. Trying to exercise, eat right and do good things for my spirit made me better able to cope with Dick's hard days. When I had hard days I kept it to myself. I know it might not be the best thing to do but I did not want to burden him. I would talk to me parents or a friend.

Thinking of you and praying for both of you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I think you are a great partner for Jorge; you are so loving + supportive. All of us survivors have our down days - days when we are sick, tired, sick + tired, etc. For me sometimes it isn't even a day, it's an hour or two. I wonder what's ahead, + can I deal with it etc. I try to tell myself I can deal with today, + that's all that matters. If Jorge was just disconnected from chemo, it may pass quickly, as those days after disconnect can be the toughest. And now the holidays are over; a lot of perfectly well people feel down after the holidays. It sounds to me you are doing all the right things. Keep being there for him.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Tina,

I don't have any better advice than you've already been given, but I just want to say that Jorge has a very lovely and caring person looking after him. Even if he's very discouraged and sick right now and may not always be able to express it, I'm sure he is very grateful for you just being there.

*hugs*
Gail

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Thank you very much you guys it means so much to me .hugs for all of yous tina

jararno's picture
jararno
Posts: 189
Joined: May 2010

Hope Jorge is feeling a bit better today. I know it is hard on you to see him going through everything and not really be able to "help". Just being there for him is the best gift. I am sure as he is nearing the last rounds of chemo he is worrying about what is next. I also felt physically worse the last few months of treatment. I do think it can be harder for a man who is used to being in control of his life and emotions. This roller coaster of cancer jerks you in so many directions...you feel like you are spinning out of control at times.

You are an amazing woman with so much love and caring for others. Take care of yourself too!
Make sure you take some time for yourself to help you relax.

Hugs,

Barb

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