are you ever lonely?

124»

Comments

  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    #62
    angelsbaby said:

    I am lonely
    every minute of the day, missing my husband angel


    michelle

    Michelle
    ((((((hugs))))) and Christmas blessings to you.

    Leslie
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #63
    Kathleen808 said:

    Anne,
    Anne,
    That must have been awefull to have the woman talking and being so insensitive. I think you're wise to figure out if this group is adding to your life and peace or taking away from it. My situation with our daughter was a bit different. She has special needs and early on I figured out that my life was better without some people.
    Thinking of you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thanks Kathleen
    I am taking it one book at a time. I didn't even read the last one; I didn't feel up to reading it - the subject matter is a tough one. I see a couple others down the list that I may skip -"Tuesdays with Morrie", which I read years ago. It is a great book, but I don't think I am up to it right now. The second book is something like,"The 5 people you will meet in heaven", by the same author. I will see how I am feeling at that time.

    When it comes to our kids, protecting them (and ourselves) from unneeded pain is key. Some people let you see they are negative forces, but with others it is very subtle. You are an amazing woman, Kathleen!
  • Holdtight
    Holdtight Member Posts: 151
    #64
    ron50 said:

    Great question Mags
    I was thinking about it last night and finshed up really depressed. When I was dx I had a wife a home full of plants and pets. My boats were parked down the side of the house. Now ,no wife ,no pets ,no real friends. I work alone,I fish alone,I live alone,I am alone. My body has even deserted me. I can no longer feel my legs from the knees down, same in my left hand,my kidneys are down to fifty percent and leaking protein like a sieve. I have osteo and psoriatic arthritis and have to take some crap drugs,arthritis drugs are as bad in their own way as chemo. The one I am on at the moment ,arava, is so invasive that if you are a woman that wants to have a child ,you must go off it for two years. I am turning into a hermit and the only word to describe my life is ALONE. I strongly supect I will die alone and the thing that upsets me most is that it is probably the way I want it. PS I don't want pity or sympathy the one thing I have learned in life is to accept things the way they are,Have a good healthy Christmas Mags...Ron.

    Lonely
    Sometimes you're better off alone. My "executive" brother who is an alcoholic through and through calls from Texas to see what my mother wants for Christmas and she isn't sure so I call him the next day to tell him to get her a certificate because she is hard to buy for. The next day he calls my sister and asks her why I said a certificate so I could spend it. They make me out to be a bad guy even with cancer. It doesn' ever end. He is nuts with money. He has been against me for years trying to do what he can to destroy me -I have always tried to be a professional and for some reason can't stay in the same job. I've lived with my mother for the past 18 years and they have been trying to drive me out so I don't have anything. They ignore me talk over me. It's insane. My sister has always been extremely jealous of me and I can't trust her. So I deal with it. I am treated so cold but I have to deal with it because of them not being happy in their lives I'm not to be happy either. They've put me through hell. I'll probably not survive to stay in my mother's house if something happens to her anyway but they are determined to make it unhappy. I hate my life sometimes but I have two beautiful kids who give me hope and I stay strong in prayer with prayer I don't need anybody. Thanks for listening. Hugs.
  • Holdtight
    Holdtight Member Posts: 151
    #65
    Holdtight said:

    Lonely
    Sometimes you're better off alone. My "executive" brother who is an alcoholic through and through calls from Texas to see what my mother wants for Christmas and she isn't sure so I call him the next day to tell him to get her a certificate because she is hard to buy for. The next day he calls my sister and asks her why I said a certificate so I could spend it. They make me out to be a bad guy even with cancer. It doesn' ever end. He is nuts with money. He has been against me for years trying to do what he can to destroy me -I have always tried to be a professional and for some reason can't stay in the same job. I've lived with my mother for the past 18 years and they have been trying to drive me out so I don't have anything. They ignore me talk over me. It's insane. My sister has always been extremely jealous of me and I can't trust her. So I deal with it. I am treated so cold but I have to deal with it because of them not being happy in their lives I'm not to be happy either. They've put me through hell. I'll probably not survive to stay in my mother's house if something happens to her anyway but they are determined to make it unhappy. I hate my life sometimes but I have two beautiful kids who give me hope and I stay strong in prayer with prayer I don't need anybody. Thanks for listening. Hugs.

    Lonely
    Don't mind me I just get upset with it all but I'm fine. I let it roll. Thanks.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #66
    lesvanb said:

    Kathleen
    thanks so much for your steadfast continued support.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!

    Leslie

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #67
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Graci
    I really appreciate your comments. I wish you had been there, too!

    My hurt has lessened considerably, especially with all the kind understanding from everyone here.

    I think you may find another "love". You are so smart, kind + interesting, I think the guys would trip over each other to get a chance to go out with you.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #68
    Yes:
    As a caregiver, sometimes, I feel very lonely, many people, unless they have experienced cancer, have no clue what it is like, daily worry, anxiety with every visit to the doc, every scan, the awful smell in the chemo room, am I doing enough research, am I being the best advocate for my husband that I can, impatience with stupid comments, blah blah blah

    Hugs - Tina
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #69
    geotina said:

    Yes:
    As a caregiver, sometimes, I feel very lonely, many people, unless they have experienced cancer, have no clue what it is like, daily worry, anxiety with every visit to the doc, every scan, the awful smell in the chemo room, am I doing enough research, am I being the best advocate for my husband that I can, impatience with stupid comments, blah blah blah

    Hugs - Tina

    You are right Tina
    Unless people have experience with cancer, they can't even fathom what we go through. You are an excellent advocate for your husband, everyone who is sick should be so fortunate as to have you as their advocate!
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #70
    angelsbaby said:

    I am lonely
    every minute of the day, missing my husband angel


    michelle

    HUGS
    I am sorry your lonely, I know I cant do anything about it, but wanted you to know I do care about you.

    HUGS
    Beth
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #71
    Holdtight said:

    Lonely
    Sometimes you're better off alone. My "executive" brother who is an alcoholic through and through calls from Texas to see what my mother wants for Christmas and she isn't sure so I call him the next day to tell him to get her a certificate because she is hard to buy for. The next day he calls my sister and asks her why I said a certificate so I could spend it. They make me out to be a bad guy even with cancer. It doesn' ever end. He is nuts with money. He has been against me for years trying to do what he can to destroy me -I have always tried to be a professional and for some reason can't stay in the same job. I've lived with my mother for the past 18 years and they have been trying to drive me out so I don't have anything. They ignore me talk over me. It's insane. My sister has always been extremely jealous of me and I can't trust her. So I deal with it. I am treated so cold but I have to deal with it because of them not being happy in their lives I'm not to be happy either. They've put me through hell. I'll probably not survive to stay in my mother's house if something happens to her anyway but they are determined to make it unhappy. I hate my life sometimes but I have two beautiful kids who give me hope and I stay strong in prayer with prayer I don't need anybody. Thanks for listening. Hugs.

    Wow! Do we have the same sibling????
    You are not alone! I am sending my big hugs!!!! ROFLMAO!!!

    HUgs, Kathi
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #72
    AnneCan said:

    Thanks Kathleen
    I am taking it one book at a time. I didn't even read the last one; I didn't feel up to reading it - the subject matter is a tough one. I see a couple others down the list that I may skip -"Tuesdays with Morrie", which I read years ago. It is a great book, but I don't think I am up to it right now. The second book is something like,"The 5 people you will meet in heaven", by the same author. I will see how I am feeling at that time.

    When it comes to our kids, protecting them (and ourselves) from unneeded pain is key. Some people let you see they are negative forces, but with others it is very subtle. You are an amazing woman, Kathleen!

    I gave my husband "The Five People You Will Meet in Heaven" after he had been revived from a sudden cardiac arrest. We both loved it. It's a wonderful book, and I very highly recommend it.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Holdtight
    Holdtight Member Posts: 151
    #73
    lisa42 said:

    sometimes I still can't believe it
    Even after being on chemo for 3-1/2 years now, I still sometimes can't believe that I really have cancer. That this is me- this is my life now. I hear other people talk about it, see people talk about it on TV, and almost feel shocked to think that I have cancer too. That the person's obituary I read about in the newspaper today who "lost their battle with cancer after 5 years"- that that could be me. I guess I feel the most lonely when I think that I'm different from all my friends and that they'll never know exactly how I feel. I pray that they don't- that they are spared from ever experiencing cancer.
    I imagine my funeral sometimes- do you all ever do that? I hear a song that is especially moving & I think about how I'd like that one played at my service. Then I imagine what my husband and kids' faces will look like during the service. WHY do I do that??????
    I HATE that I do that! I want to live!!! I don't want to think of the sadness my family will go through if I don't make it. I know life will go on without me- life always does go on, but I want to be part of it all!!!
    I hate that I have to carry this burden of wondering if I'll be alive when my kids get married or have my grandkids- or if I'll even see them graduate from high school. YES- I want to live!!! I feel far from dead now, but I know how quickly it can go downhill too & that is definitely a lonely, scary feeling. I have gotten stronger in my faith in Jesus since thinking about all this & that definitely makes me feel less alone, but makes me feel even more alone and different from my friends.

    I'm grateful for this forum that we can share these feelings with each other- we're all here for each other & we all GET IT.

    Hugs to all,
    Lisa

    Thank You.

    Thank You.

Discussion Boards