1/2 Way of Protocol Nearly Completed - Here's Where I'm At - Sundance Update
Comments
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Dear Craig
I am so sorry you have to go through all this. You can do it though. You ARE doing it. 3 more rad treatments. I know you have chemo after that but don't think about that now. Just get through this battle and rest when you can. -- Damn this cancer.
Holding you in the Light, Craig, for strength, healing, and fortitude.
love,
Aud0 -
Craig
It pains me to read your post, yet when I feel like I will cry your next sentence reminds me of the strength of the human spirit. You are such a rock to so many of us, you have been through so much and yet can still dig down and find more. I would be lucky to have 1/4 of your strength. Thank you for the update, I hope if I ever need to, I could find such strength to fight like you have. Be well my friend.
-Chris0 -
OK Sweet Craig - It's time
OK Sweet Craig - It's time for some Semi-colon Cyber -****-kicking on you cancer.
We need to help take some of the emotional burden off you, I am so worried about your fatigue and state of mind.
It takes A LOT to fight, to keep that warrior stance in play. But hell, you know that better than anyone.
As you are lying on the table finishing up your treatments, envision and feel the collective force and will of we, your Semi-colon friends, with you every step of the way.
Feel the hugs of a hundred Semi-Colons softening the aches, the pain and the worry.
And if worse comes to worse - pretend Kerry is next to you telling raunchy jokes!
((HUGS))
Peggy0 -
joining the C forcepluckey said:OK Sweet Craig - It's time
OK Sweet Craig - It's time for some Semi-colon Cyber -****-kicking on you cancer.
We need to help take some of the emotional burden off you, I am so worried about your fatigue and state of mind.
It takes A LOT to fight, to keep that warrior stance in play. But hell, you know that better than anyone.
As you are lying on the table finishing up your treatments, envision and feel the collective force and will of we, your Semi-colon friends, with you every step of the way.
Feel the hugs of a hundred Semi-Colons softening the aches, the pain and the worry.
And if worse comes to worse - pretend Kerry is next to you telling raunchy jokes!
((HUGS))
Peggy
Peggy I think there is something to be said for Collective Cancer care for Craig.....
ALL of us blasting in care from round the cyber world.
Love you big guy....your pain hurts soo much....thinking of you and joining the cyber hugs and squeeeeezes....
maggie may0 -
My Cabo Warrier!!!!maglets said:joining the C force
Peggy I think there is something to be said for Collective Cancer care for Craig.....
ALL of us blasting in care from round the cyber world.
Love you big guy....your pain hurts soo much....thinking of you and joining the cyber hugs and squeeeeezes....
maggie may
There just don't seem to be words to make those "ouchies" go away. You indeed have been thru the wringer my friend. I am praying for you every day. Please give Craig a much needed vacation from this crap!!!! Please! You have been going from one battle and into another. You say your score is 0........... are you crazy??? You have WON so so so many battles and you continue to win. Cancer is NOT outscoring you.... it may FEEL that way but you are still coming out ahead of the game. In this WAR called cancer.... some fight a few battles...some fight many....YOU have a nasty **** war with lots of battles.....you have won them all. I know you are tired.... cancer is counting on that...hoping you will fold.... But I know you are a "TEXAS HOLD EM" kind of guy..... a winner! Love you Craig...stand strong!
Jen0 -
CraigLori-S said:Craig
HUGS to you. I'm so sorry that you are feeling down for the count. Thank goodness you are nearly the end of the IMRT. It's got to be a double punch with the rad and the pump. Yuck. I am so proud of you for sticking it out. I can't even imagine. I really should stop complaining bout my chemo. All I can do send you some cyber HUGS and let you know that I am in your corner and thinking of you.
all my paryers are with you .thank god you are at the end of the IMRT we are so proud of you . my family are all thinkinng of you at this time. lots of hugs for you Tina0 -
Hey Craig,
I'm so sorry that
Hey Craig,
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so horrible right now, but I know you'll get through it - you have such a strong will to beat the beast! And as I've told you before, you're our inspiration! The radiation has pushed you down right now, but you'll beat it back and be up and around in just a few short weeks - I just know it. Hugs and prayers go out to you. Stay strong! Cynthia0 -
The Race:
Like you, we are getting tired of the race and just not being able to get to that finish line or even see it. It seems like now we are farther back than ever but the sprint will start again next week. I have dried the eyes and ended he pity party here.
Daughter is now here for several days, the kitchen is a disaster mess with all the stuff we are making and looking forward to Thanksgiving.
<----picture from Thanksgiving 2009. This year count is at around 76. George is feeling well so for today and the next few days, gonna be smiles in this house, and we will face next week when we get there.
I think George is getting sick of the whole mess but did express, well, guess we just keep going so I am happy with that.
Take care and say Hi to Kim for me!
Hugs - Tina0 -
Thanks Everyone!
I wanted to take a minute and just thank everyone for your support and responses. I was just "Raging Against the Machine." I needed someone to talk to and you folks are all that I have to talk to and express how I was feeling - so thanks for hanging in there, on what was a tough read.
I didn't want to have to carry that around for the holidays, was just too much.
My radiation tech gals told me today after treatment, that I was less "talkative" than I've been...and they acknowledged that they could see the difference in me and knew that it has been very hard on me. They said I had a "good attitude."
I suppose I just don't know any other way. They have been taking care of of me and have done a really good job in the radiation chamber - very professional and efficient, so I decided that Santa Craig will visit them on Monday and put my little present in both of their stockings for the holiday.
Last 2 treatments next Monday and Tuesday...
You all remember that I mentioned that I may "Waver" or I might "Bend" some during this latest fight - but that I would not "Break." So far, so good. They could break me if they wanted to though, but this felt pretty close - it was a stark reminder to the first time I ever did radiation.
This is probably as close to "crying out in pain" as I've done since I've been here - I apologize for that. Sometimes, I should just hit the "delete" button and not post this, but then I remember what we're all here for.
We need to hear the truth - we need to hear the "real" reality. As I've said so many times, "How are we going to learn from one another, if we don't tell each other the truth?"
I came to this board seeking the truth and I want to hear the truth from you as well...that's how I learn and gather new perspectives as well. I've got a book to write, remember? (LOL)
It's when we peel back the layer of vulnerability, that we get to the crux of where our real emotions reside - and when we expose ourselves in that light, we all grow as people and as cancer patients...and that's called "The Journey."
You know I will always "keep it real" as long as I'm here and breathing.
Have yourselves a happy holiday!
-Craig0 -
Don't Stop!Sundanceh said:Thanks Everyone!
I wanted to take a minute and just thank everyone for your support and responses. I was just "Raging Against the Machine." I needed someone to talk to and you folks are all that I have to talk to and express how I was feeling - so thanks for hanging in there, on what was a tough read.
I didn't want to have to carry that around for the holidays, was just too much.
My radiation tech gals told me today after treatment, that I was less "talkative" than I've been...and they acknowledged that they could see the difference in me and knew that it has been very hard on me. They said I had a "good attitude."
I suppose I just don't know any other way. They have been taking care of of me and have done a really good job in the radiation chamber - very professional and efficient, so I decided that Santa Craig will visit them on Monday and put my little present in both of their stockings for the holiday.
Last 2 treatments next Monday and Tuesday...
You all remember that I mentioned that I may "Waver" or I might "Bend" some during this latest fight - but that I would not "Break." So far, so good. They could break me if they wanted to though, but this felt pretty close - it was a stark reminder to the first time I ever did radiation.
This is probably as close to "crying out in pain" as I've done since I've been here - I apologize for that. Sometimes, I should just hit the "delete" button and not post this, but then I remember what we're all here for.
We need to hear the truth - we need to hear the "real" reality. As I've said so many times, "How are we going to learn from one another, if we don't tell each other the truth?"
I came to this board seeking the truth and I want to hear the truth from you as well...that's how I learn and gather new perspectives as well. I've got a book to write, remember? (LOL)
It's when we peel back the layer of vulnerability, that we get to the crux of where our real emotions reside - and when we expose ourselves in that light, we all grow as people and as cancer patients...and that's called "The Journey."
You know I will always "keep it real" as long as I'm here and breathing.
Have yourselves a happy holiday!
-Craig
Craig,
Reading your post brings tears to my eyes. I visit this site daily, but feel like I do not have much to contribute. I check-in and pray for everyone here.
Now, I cannot imagine the battle you wage and what you go through. But I do know, you have options and that is a good thing. My sister ran out of options. If she had some, even a one percent chance of any treatment, she would be delighted.
So, yes, tough love here. But I know you can do it! Hang tough keep fighting and know I think of you often.
If I lived near you I would walk over to your house and hold you up. But I don't, so the best I can do is send some positive vibes your way.
Marie0 -
Stay Strongsfmarie said:Don't Stop!
Craig,
Reading your post brings tears to my eyes. I visit this site daily, but feel like I do not have much to contribute. I check-in and pray for everyone here.
Now, I cannot imagine the battle you wage and what you go through. But I do know, you have options and that is a good thing. My sister ran out of options. If she had some, even a one percent chance of any treatment, she would be delighted.
So, yes, tough love here. But I know you can do it! Hang tough keep fighting and know I think of you often.
If I lived near you I would walk over to your house and hold you up. But I don't, so the best I can do is send some positive vibes your way.
Marie
Craig,
Thanks for the update and information on your treatment. I'm so sorry you are really being whooped up on. I think of you often and hope that things get better for you. I like Marie wish I could be there physically for you. I have even asked God to share some of your pain with me so as to spare you some of it, I hope it's working.
You will get better and beat this, you have too. Why because we have yet to meet face to face. I hope someday that we can meet at one of the Palooza events. Hope you are feeling as good as you can and Happy Thanksgiving to you and Kim.
Don0 -
craig's radsSundanceh said:Thanks Everyone!
I wanted to take a minute and just thank everyone for your support and responses. I was just "Raging Against the Machine." I needed someone to talk to and you folks are all that I have to talk to and express how I was feeling - so thanks for hanging in there, on what was a tough read.
I didn't want to have to carry that around for the holidays, was just too much.
My radiation tech gals told me today after treatment, that I was less "talkative" than I've been...and they acknowledged that they could see the difference in me and knew that it has been very hard on me. They said I had a "good attitude."
I suppose I just don't know any other way. They have been taking care of of me and have done a really good job in the radiation chamber - very professional and efficient, so I decided that Santa Craig will visit them on Monday and put my little present in both of their stockings for the holiday.
Last 2 treatments next Monday and Tuesday...
You all remember that I mentioned that I may "Waver" or I might "Bend" some during this latest fight - but that I would not "Break." So far, so good. They could break me if they wanted to though, but this felt pretty close - it was a stark reminder to the first time I ever did radiation.
This is probably as close to "crying out in pain" as I've done since I've been here - I apologize for that. Sometimes, I should just hit the "delete" button and not post this, but then I remember what we're all here for.
We need to hear the truth - we need to hear the "real" reality. As I've said so many times, "How are we going to learn from one another, if we don't tell each other the truth?"
I came to this board seeking the truth and I want to hear the truth from you as well...that's how I learn and gather new perspectives as well. I've got a book to write, remember? (LOL)
It's when we peel back the layer of vulnerability, that we get to the crux of where our real emotions reside - and when we expose ourselves in that light, we all grow as people and as cancer patients...and that's called "The Journey."
You know I will always "keep it real" as long as I'm here and breathing.
Have yourselves a happy holiday!
-Craig
Craig I know you are tough and thank you for sharing your hard time now and inner thoughts( or some of them) with us, your writings really help me since I am in the same place as you are. Yep there are two or more of us in this swamp. Lets not let the alligators get us but try to remember the shores are filled with lovely flowers and birds\\
I can't recall why you are having the rad, why wasn't the thoracotomy enough?
Bless your wife for being with you during this time. Lean on the spirit of your wonderful golden retriever who I am sure is speaking to you alot now and is your soul journey walker.
Please keep posting if you can. Great admiration and many cyber hugs for a true warrior.
Serrana0 -
my bro
right 2am in the uk,cant sleep as its so cold.came to check on my family,firstly not sure how i missed your post but im replying.ok you are entitled to get down about your treatments you wouldnt be human if you didnt.but that is all you are allowed to do! Dar gone it!but i know my bro as we all do this was just a temporary glitch and you are back on your feet fighting cant keep a texan down for long no sirey.you are our craig and we love you so only one time cancer is allowed to knock you back but that is it,so there:p0 -
Craig
Craig,
Ohhh gosh you've been through so da*n much! You are an incredible fighter. I admire your amazing strength. I will pray for you and your wife. Praying you get to feel better sooner, much sooner rather than later.
With prayers and aloha,
Kathleen0 -
Keep your eyes on the prize...
Craig:
I’m so sorry to read about your suffering.
I’ve always been impressed by your genuine honesty, gentlemanly kindness and your strength. I continue to be so. (I like your dog, too.)
There was a common counsel to the weary during the struggle for civil rights in the 1960s: “Keep your eyes on the prize.” The message then was to persevere-- whatever the provocation, whatever the suffering, whatever the distraction. Then, the “prize” was equal rights. For you, now, the prize is survival and recovery.
Keep your eyes on the prize, my friend.
Hatshepsut0 -
Many More Thanks!!!
I just wanted to follow up with the other folks who have posted here as well. Thank you all for filling up this post with your thoughts and feelings. It does make a world of difference when you are in the throes of battle and need something to hang onto:)
SFMarie
1st, let me tell you, that you always have much to offer anyone that you touch. I'm so sorry for your sister still and know that is a big hole to fill. I lost my sister to a horrible tragedy many years ago (not cancer) and I think of her often and wish she were with me. Wished you lived near by too - I need someone to help me with Harley LOL:)
Big Don
I'm moved by your sentiments. How touching you want to remove pain from me and transfer it over to you. I've got a better idea. You've got quite alot going, so you get well and let me shoulder my burden, I can take it. And I'm sure we will meet one day:) You've been a great friend.
Serrana
Finally got you out of hiding, huh? LOL:) Glad my writings can be of help. This last thoracotomy was a doozy. Tumor was 6cm and had embedded itself into my rib cage and chest wall. It was situated right up next to my spine. So the doctor removed most of it, but we did not get clear margins, thus forcing my hand at accepting radiation and more chemo. It's so nice seeing you around again, don't stay away so long:)
Margaret
Thank you so much for your continued support! I always appreciate your kind words and thoughts.
Sonia
You weren't supposed to read that post, LOL:) Thought I could sneak it past you...thank you for your post. It's been tough going and I can't wait to pull out of this. There's just gotta' be life on the other side of the hill.
Kathleen
It just seem like one hurdle after another - and then another, doesn't it? I guess I should have payed more attention in school - I'm just not passing these tests:) Thank you for your support and well wishes as well. Aloha to you and ****.
Hatshepsut
It does my heart good to see you on one of my posts again. How I miss your introspection as we all fight this disease. You are never too far away in my thoughts as well and I hope you are doing better, but know that things are difficult. Give Misty a great big ol' hug from me. I could probably use her to settle down Harley - he's just full of himself these days. Totally health and full of life, all of his parts are keen and working. I get jealous sometimes at just watching how he can bend and stretch and move. Ah, to be young again.
Thank you everyone! Back to reality on Monday but only 2 more treatments and we finally remove the pump. Can we get a big "He11 Yeah?"
-Craig0 -
Craig, you are doing great,
Craig, you are doing great, give your body the rest it needs.Think of you often, you are one strong amazing person. God Bless...0 -
You're almost done and the
You're almost done and the radiation will kill those nasty little tumors! I can't imagine being strong enough to go through the treatment. The 5fu pump that my husband wore every other weekend was awful enough. I hope you begin to feel better soon.
Erin0 -
Hope you feel better soon
Craig, I know you are probably still feeling weak and in pain. I did the radiation and chemo pump last July. I remember thinking on my last day that I could not go on any longer and ended up getting very weak and sick while with the Dr.I couldn't believe how that radiation kicked my ***. The two weeks after treatment was even worse,so much pain. I didn't leave my house.......You may feel this also, but in reading your post you show your strength in rough times. By Christmas, you should be feeling so much better. Rest, rest,rest. I hope you feel better soon.
Gail0
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