After treatment...what happens with support then??

Hi Snoog
It looks like you have been a member for almost a year, so that's good.

It sounds like you are needing some emotional support and some physical help as well. Tell us a little more about the specifics on 'your world' and I am sure that some here will have suggestions.

Just off the top of my head, it sounds like you should see about a counseling referral with someone who deals with cancer patients. They will understand exactly how you are feeling and be able to help you get things under control.

The reaction of family and friends to your cancer free news is not unusual. They don't understand that getting to that state is only one part of the battle.

Marie who loves kitties

Lovekitties said:

Hi Snoog
It looks like you have been a member for almost a year, so that's good.

It sounds like you are needing some emotional support and some physical help as well. Tell us a little more about the specifics on 'your world' and I am sure that some here will have suggestions.

Just off the top of my head, it sounds like you should see about a counseling referral with someone who deals with cancer patients. They will understand exactly how you are feeling and be able to help you get things under control.

The reaction of family and friends to your cancer free news is not unusual. They don't understand that getting to that state is only one part of the battle.

Marie who loves kitties

Snoog.....You did the very best thing anyone could do......
You called for help.....so many never allow others to help, that's not good when you alone have to deal with all the emotional and physical mending that goes on through and past this. You have made the perfect stride in simply coming in here where the answers are many and the feeling is so real. This is an emotional rendevous for anyone needing to escape the onslaught of cancer and all it bombards us with. Our friends in here are many, and they are sincere, and once treatment is over, we are still here. We know the feeling of being "thrown out of the house" feels like when all treatment and nurturing and everything done for you and let me help you with that goes away. Its a feeling of emptiness, actually makes ya sometimes feel like getting cancer back would get you some more of that good old attention you were getting, but what ya aren't realizing is....YOU WON !!!!! The game is over for now, so allow yourself to pick up the pieces and move on. Get back to the normal you once had....A life after cancer is one not to be lightly taken, because so few reach that goal. But the loneliness it causes when what we call "Life in the Fastlane" is done, and the feeling of being deserted is felt, then you have to sit back and realize that your not being deserted, your being given back what we all hope for, your life as it was. So please stay with us and relish the enjoyment and comrauderie we have in here. Its a fabulous time for such a place that no one wants to have to join...and the membership cost is sometimes very high, but its a place where all is loved and cared for, and now my friend, your life will change as well.....Love Hope and Friendship and cure for us all.........Buzz

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!
I completely agree!! 4 years post treatment and still CA free.Great news for me! But.
I am generally someone who deals well with most anything. no one ever expects to see me flustered...in fact, my friends all thought that I went through CA treatments really well, and I did...faced it with determination and calmness. Get treated and move on....but I find the monkey never seems to get off your back. Post treatment arthritis and joint pain, still bouts of exhaustion - no one else really relates your issues today to what happened 4 years ago, they see you today....I have a couple of other people I know who are cancer survivors, as well as a job in health care where I see and talk to people every day about their issues.
I asked my friends, and even some of my patients, if the monkey ever goes away and they all said "NO". so, I get up every day and go through the motions, confident that most of the people I deal with every day have no CLUE how grateful they should be just to be alive and breathing!

so, to your point (and mine in a much earlier post on the page). As a previous respondant said...ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED....see someone...talk to a complete stranger about how you should face the world each day. your friends and family love you, but they won't get it. not because they don't want to , but I think they are afraid. they don't know what to say or how to "help" you. Let them love you, give you a hug...tell them when you need one, but you don't have to tell them why...

there is not enough information about "post treatment" ailments. I even asked my onc about it and she admitted that treatment was centered on saving your life, not your lifestyle!! I find that this board has as much information from others as anywhere on the internet. I think that MD's are finally realizing that there needs to be more research done, but if it is being done, it seems to be in its infancy! I find that my physicians treat the issues I have one by one, and not as a whole.

walk around the block to clear your head, get out of the house, and relieve stress. exercise is good for all parts of your body, but especially your head!

sorry this is so long, but you have obviously hit a nerve with me. I have been saying this exact same thing to my health care team for 2 years....maybe we can change it...

I saw a therapist shortly
I saw a therapist shortly after i finished chemo, she was recommended by my Onc, she deals with a lot of cancer patients. She told me that most people seek therapy right after finishing chemo. I felt like after I was done with chemo that I was was not actively fighting my cancer and felt lost. In time those feelings fade, but I am grateful for everyone here for understanding when no one else could. Good luck to you

mnmassie said:

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!
I completely agree!! 4 years post treatment and still CA free.Great news for me! But.
I am generally someone who deals well with most anything. no one ever expects to see me flustered...in fact, my friends all thought that I went through CA treatments really well, and I did...faced it with determination and calmness. Get treated and move on....but I find the monkey never seems to get off your back. Post treatment arthritis and joint pain, still bouts of exhaustion - no one else really relates your issues today to what happened 4 years ago, they see you today....I have a couple of other people I know who are cancer survivors, as well as a job in health care where I see and talk to people every day about their issues.
I asked my friends, and even some of my patients, if the monkey ever goes away and they all said "NO". so, I get up every day and go through the motions, confident that most of the people I deal with every day have no CLUE how grateful they should be just to be alive and breathing!

so, to your point (and mine in a much earlier post on the page). As a previous respondant said...ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED....see someone...talk to a complete stranger about how you should face the world each day. your friends and family love you, but they won't get it. not because they don't want to , but I think they are afraid. they don't know what to say or how to "help" you. Let them love you, give you a hug...tell them when you need one, but you don't have to tell them why...

there is not enough information about "post treatment" ailments. I even asked my onc about it and she admitted that treatment was centered on saving your life, not your lifestyle!! I find that this board has as much information from others as anywhere on the internet. I think that MD's are finally realizing that there needs to be more research done, but if it is being done, it seems to be in its infancy! I find that my physicians treat the issues I have one by one, and not as a whole.

walk around the block to clear your head, get out of the house, and relieve stress. exercise is good for all parts of your body, but especially your head!

sorry this is so long, but you have obviously hit a nerve with me. I have been saying this exact same thing to my health care team for 2 years....maybe we can change it...

mnmassie, I could have
mnmassie, I could have written your post!

My chemo ended in June, and as I regained strength etc I became an emotional wreck! Crying every day, lost, unfocused, frustrated.

why does no one talk about it and offer After Treatment care/counseling as a required step after treatment?

I called my Onc last week and got the triage nurse and she TOTALLY dismissed my issue of achy arthritic joints - unfolding myself from my desk chair and walking is such a challenge, I feel like an 80-year old woman isntead of 48.

Peggy