feeling lousy & had colorectal spec. appt yesterday- better now

Hi,

Just whining a bit- frustrated that the Xeloda hits me so hard lately with the hand/foot syndrome. I have also had a headache and am tired, achy, and basically feel like crap. What a weekend for it too- I had my 10 yr old go to her school carnival last night with her friend's family (my husband had to work late, then didn't want to go without me). We skipped the church harvest party, which was 1-5 today, and I guess my hubby will have to take her out trick or treating himself tomorrow. Bummer. I skipped taking the Xeloda dose last night and this morning because I was in such agony. Finally at 4:00 today, after skipping two doses, I'm able to sit and type and actually move my hands. But I know I can't skip any more- my two weeks of taking it will finish up Thursday morning. Last night, not only did it feel like acid had been poured on my hands and feet, but I also kept getting stabbing pains like someone was jabbing me with needles. Even with cushy socks and slippers on, I can only take steps very slowly
I take 3,000 mg/day- 1500 in a.m. and again in p.m. I may need talk to the onc about reducing the dose a bit, I guess.
I had an appt for a rectal exam with the colorectal specialist yesterday. She said she does feel a small nodule just above the anal sphincter. She estimated it's just a 1/2 cm. She said it could be scar tissue, but likely not. Not a surprise to me- that's why I went to see her. I've had mixed info over the past year on whether I actually have a rectal tumor recurrence or not. The PET scans light up there, but I'm told it could also light up for scar tissue or inflammation of any type. My colonoscopy and biopsy 10 months ago (just after my PET then lit up in the rectum)showed negative for any cancer. But, that was 10 months ago. The dr. wants to wait for my scan results next week (Thurs Nov 4th). If it doesn't show anything conclusive, then she wants me to have a sigmoidoscopy with ultrasound to check things out more carefully and make sure that there isn't anything on the outside of the colon/rectum. If there isn't, then she will recommend that I have a transanal excision, simply removing the nodule and surrounding margins from the inside without doing a whole resection and ileostomy. She will also talk to my onc and see what he thinks. The concern is that I'd have to stop chemo for a bit to have it done. When my CEA goes up after missing just 2 wks of chemo while on vacation recently, I definitely would not feel comfortable being off of it for several weeks. I asked her about getting cyberknife on it instead of surgically removing it, hence I then wouldn't need to stop the chemo if I got cyberknife. She said we can look into that, but said that the cyberknife people usually don't like to do it when the nodule/tumor is inside the rectum because it would be more likely to cause ongoing issues. She said it would be better to do cyberknife if it were on the outside of the colon or rectum, not inside.
Don't know what to do- I hate how I feel on chemo, so I'd actually welcome a break from it. I guess I won't worry about it- I'll just wait and see how the scan comes out and where we go from there.
I know I'll feel better physically in a few more days when I get to my week off from Xeloda, but right now it's hard to remember that. I think I need to go lie down- I'm starting to shiver and head is pounding.
Hugs to all,

Lisa