Hodgkins- "The Good Cancer"

CiAnnaBananna
CiAnnaBananna Member Posts: 105
edited March 2014 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
Is anyone else tired of hearing people say "oh Hodgkins, that's the good cancer!"? I realize it is one of the better ones to have, it's treatable, blah blah blah. Still cancer. Still scary. Still have to go through chemo. Still have to have radiation. It's not fun and it's in no way shape or form "good". And I don't just hear this from non cancer patients, but from the cancer community as well. Can we all just agree that there is no such things as the "good cancer?"
«1

Comments

  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    #2
    I agree
    Hi CiAnna,
    I totally agree with you. Not just lymphoma but I also hear that a lot with thyroid cancer. People say" oh that is the good cancer to have, or you are so lucky to have thyroid cancer" Are these people for real. No cancer is a good cancer. Some may have the potential for a cure, but to say your lucky or it's the good cancer is crazy. I have also had people say' Oh your having radiation, thats lucky you don't need chemo. Peaple don't use their brain when they open their mouths.. No cancer is good, and all cancer treatments are hard, some harder than others, but all are difficult. I have even had Doctors say that to me...I wish I could just say" here you take the cancer and the treatments and the worry and fears and I'll be healthy"
  • vinny59
    vinny59 Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #3
    so true!
    So well said, people mean well, but cancer is cancer, period...... Vinny
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    #4
    vinny59 said:

    so true!
    So well said, people mean well, but cancer is cancer, period...... Vinny

    Yep
    I had a co-worker say you have cancer and you're ok, so why is he so worried? This is in regard to another co-worker had a colonoscopy and they did find something. When he told her it wasn't cancer that was her response. I wanted to smack her and say "wake up" ALL cancer is bad. Really ticked me off. This is also the girl who wouldn't look me in the eye when I was bald and going through chemo. Really made me feel like a leper.

    So yes, it torqes me off too.
  • tcvine
    tcvine Member Posts: 174
    #5
    Agree
    I couldn't agree more. I've even caught myself saying something stupid like that when other people are trying to be sympathetic and I'm trying not to sound like a complainer.

    But, it is stupid. Other times I'm off searching the internet for yet another glimmer of hope that I'm not going to die next year. It's just stupid.

    Tom (DLBCL-4-7/10)
  • ksblack
    ksblack Member Posts: 20 Member
    #6
    The Good Cancer
    CiannaBanana,
    I have been in remission for 4 years now from Thyroid cancer and they say the same thing about that one as well. Ther is no good or bad just less crucifying would be a better term for it. It is like being handed a death sentence no matter how you look at it. We found out this week my son-in-law has Hodgkins and he is devastated. Do you have any advise on how to talk to him or make him feel better. He is 42 and I think hw still hasn't accepted the fact he has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's. He could start Chemo as early as next week.

    Thanks for listening and I wish you well.

    Thanks,
    KarenS
  • ksblack
    ksblack Member Posts: 20 Member
    #7
    The Good Cancer
    CiannaBanana,
    I have been in remission for 4 years now from Thyroid cancer and they say the same thing about that one as well. Ther is no good or bad just less crucifying would be a better term for it. It is like being handed a death sentence no matter how you look at it. We found out this week my son-in-law has Hodgkins and he is devastated. Do you have any advise on how to talk to him or make him feel better. He is 42 and I think hw still hasn't accepted the fact he has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's. He could start Chemo as early as next week.

    Thanks for listening and I wish you well.

    Thanks,
    KarenS
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #8
    The "good"cancer
    Wow, this hit a nerve with me too!! I hear this all the time!! My favorite line that I hear is "Well if you had to get it, you sure picked the right one" Oh yes indeedy- we all picked a winner.

    Good grief. I know that people mean well, but it really can get to you. Thank God for all of you who understand.
  • CiAnnaBananna
    CiAnnaBananna Member Posts: 105
    #9
    ksblack said:

    The Good Cancer
    CiannaBanana,
    I have been in remission for 4 years now from Thyroid cancer and they say the same thing about that one as well. Ther is no good or bad just less crucifying would be a better term for it. It is like being handed a death sentence no matter how you look at it. We found out this week my son-in-law has Hodgkins and he is devastated. Do you have any advise on how to talk to him or make him feel better. He is 42 and I think hw still hasn't accepted the fact he has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's. He could start Chemo as early as next week.

    Thanks for listening and I wish you well.

    Thanks,
    KarenS

    i'm not sure what you can
    i'm not sure what you can really say to someone when they get a cancer diagnosis to make them feel better. It really takes that person coming to terms with it and finding a way to get through it. However, the best thing anyone ever said to me was one of my best friends. She was the only one to say "that really sucks and you are going to go through hell".....i'm not saying that works on everyone, but she was the only one not to keep saying "i'm soooo sorry" sorry doesn't help. she was the only one to recognize that i was about to go through complete hell. I wish good luck to your son in law and congrats to you for being in remission for 4 years! my treatment is going to be done in a few weeks and I can't wait!
  • CiAnnaBananna
    CiAnnaBananna Member Posts: 105
    #10
    onlytoday said:

    The "good"cancer
    Wow, this hit a nerve with me too!! I hear this all the time!! My favorite line that I hear is "Well if you had to get it, you sure picked the right one" Oh yes indeedy- we all picked a winner.

    Good grief. I know that people mean well, but it really can get to you. Thank God for all of you who understand.

    and
    i'm really glad everyone feels the same way!
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #11
    Sucks
    Cancer sucks and having cancer sucks...can't think of anything nice to say about cancer. Mama always said.."If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
    Have a good weekend all...Love, Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • cathyp
    cathyp Member Posts: 376 Member
    #12
    allmost60 said:

    Sucks
    Cancer sucks and having cancer sucks...can't think of anything nice to say about cancer. Mama always said.."If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
    Have a good weekend all...Love, Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)

    "It's only Hodgkin's"
    For three days after my biopsy,the surgical team and my pcp were very stoic around me. My frozen section biopsy from a thoracotomy revealed end stage thymoma. I was young and just returned from my honeymoon. On the 4th day after receiving the final pathology dx, they all came in my room with huge grins saying "IT'S ONLY HODGKIN'S"...
    After that I have heard, you are so lucky, you picked the right one, etc, etc!!

    All these years, dr's, co-workers,family and friends see how great you look. They don't realize how tired we always feel and all the late effects we deal with on a daily basis while trying to live a normal life.

    Cathy
    HD 1989 - RADS
    HD 1994 - ABVD
    IDC, BC 2008 -DMX
  • Helen Caruso
    Helen Caruso Member Posts: 11
    #13
    yupppi hear that all the timee.....
    i am also a hodgkins disease survivor for 13 years now and when i tell people what i had they say the samething and it makes me so mad!!! they think cuz it was hodgkins that i dont have anything to worry about! which i do cuz i took alot of chemo and radiation and the long term effects isnt fun to hear about or to go through..CANCER IS CANCER!!!! none of it should be labeled as "GOOD" Once we have cancer we will always be at risk for more cancer. one time this lady at work tolded me she is a breast cancer survivor and when i told her im a stage 4 hodgkins disease survivor she actually did said in those words,"ohhh you had the good cancer...its nothing." lolll i looked at her and i said excuse me??? i tolded her she had no idea what i went through and what the damaged from the treatments and the hodgkins has caused me and my life. so i totally undestand what you are saying...just set them straight like i did lolll:)
  • Helen Caruso
    Helen Caruso Member Posts: 11
    #14
    cathyp said:

    "It's only Hodgkin's"
    For three days after my biopsy,the surgical team and my pcp were very stoic around me. My frozen section biopsy from a thoracotomy revealed end stage thymoma. I was young and just returned from my honeymoon. On the 4th day after receiving the final pathology dx, they all came in my room with huge grins saying "IT'S ONLY HODGKIN'S"...
    After that I have heard, you are so lucky, you picked the right one, etc, etc!!

    All these years, dr's, co-workers,family and friends see how great you look. They don't realize how tired we always feel and all the late effects we deal with on a daily basis while trying to live a normal life.

    Cathy
    HD 1989 - RADS
    HD 1994 - ABVD
    IDC, BC 2008 -DMX

    wow cathy
    omg cant imagine what your reaction was when they came in and said, "its only hodgkins" that bothers me sooo much!!! and yes you are right they dont understand how tired we get from long term effect with the treatments...im 13 years stage 4 hodgkins disease free and each year i feel more and more tired. and due to the amount of radiation i had my thyroid totally stopped working. so everyone who thinks this is a "GOOD CANCER" needs to rsearch before making statments like that!! but cathy you do look beautifullll they are right on that:)
  • webozo
    webozo Member Posts: 82 Member
    #15
    yes hodgkins is treatable
    yes hodgkins is treatable but i have known three people with hodgkins and only one of them is still with us. this cancer may not take as many people as others but it still can kill. i am very glad that there is such good treatments. people need to understand that we go through a emotional rollercoaster when we are dx and even with good odds we still have this reaction.
  • CiAnnaBananna
    CiAnnaBananna Member Posts: 105
    #16
    Helen Caruso said:

    yupppi hear that all the timee.....
    i am also a hodgkins disease survivor for 13 years now and when i tell people what i had they say the samething and it makes me so mad!!! they think cuz it was hodgkins that i dont have anything to worry about! which i do cuz i took alot of chemo and radiation and the long term effects isnt fun to hear about or to go through..CANCER IS CANCER!!!! none of it should be labeled as "GOOD" Once we have cancer we will always be at risk for more cancer. one time this lady at work tolded me she is a breast cancer survivor and when i told her im a stage 4 hodgkins disease survivor she actually did said in those words,"ohhh you had the good cancer...its nothing." lolll i looked at her and i said excuse me??? i tolded her she had no idea what i went through and what the damaged from the treatments and the hodgkins has caused me and my life. so i totally undestand what you are saying...just set them straight like i did lolll:)

    so glad everyone is on board
    so glad everyone is on board with me on this post. I had a feeling some people might not taken to it too lightly. Good Cancer my ****. One of my really good friends got diagnosed with brain cancer the same week i got my diagnosis. In my head, i was glad that I didn't have brain cancer, but never did I think "wow, i got off easy" and my friend never said anything like "you are so lucky you have the good cacner" The good news is that i'm doing great, and she's doing great!
  • lmack
    lmack Member Posts: 21
    #17
    CiAnnaBananna said:

    so glad everyone is on board
    so glad everyone is on board with me on this post. I had a feeling some people might not taken to it too lightly. Good Cancer my ****. One of my really good friends got diagnosed with brain cancer the same week i got my diagnosis. In my head, i was glad that I didn't have brain cancer, but never did I think "wow, i got off easy" and my friend never said anything like "you are so lucky you have the good cacner" The good news is that i'm doing great, and she's doing great!

    Jackpot
    I was recently diagnosed with HL. The worst thing I was told (by several people) that I had the 'jackpot' of cancers. Really? Who wants to win this jackpot? Also heard that its the one to get if you have to get cancer. Really?
    I do have a few friends that didn't do the "soooo sorry" approach and that means so much more to me than hearing that from everyone, like a broken record.
    : )
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #18
    Good cancer.
    CiAnna,
    I would like to say I respect all you are saying about cancer. Cancer is a dirty word, no doubt about it. What I feel people and Drs. are trying to say is this. Lymphoma is one of the most treatable cancers out there. Would you, if you had a choice rather have lung,pancreatic,liver,colon,kidney,prostate,uterine,breast,bladder,etc.etc. Not trying to be a wise ****,but if I had to have one I know what my choice would be. Like you and others on here on this site we got stuck with lymphoma. None of it is good by any means. Cancer is never good news. I had a onc. nurse tell me its not if we get cancer anymore, its when we get cancer. It is on the rise by leaps and bounds. A few years ago it was 1 in 6,now it is 1 in 3. A little more than scary isn't it? Again, I am not trying to step on anyones toes here and I respect everyones opinion This is only mine. Now if I have offended anybody let me know.....I am sure you will!!!! John (FNHL-1-4A-5/10)
  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    #19
    COBRA666 said:

    Good cancer.
    CiAnna,
    I would like to say I respect all you are saying about cancer. Cancer is a dirty word, no doubt about it. What I feel people and Drs. are trying to say is this. Lymphoma is one of the most treatable cancers out there. Would you, if you had a choice rather have lung,pancreatic,liver,colon,kidney,prostate,uterine,breast,bladder,etc.etc. Not trying to be a wise ****,but if I had to have one I know what my choice would be. Like you and others on here on this site we got stuck with lymphoma. None of it is good by any means. Cancer is never good news. I had a onc. nurse tell me its not if we get cancer anymore, its when we get cancer. It is on the rise by leaps and bounds. A few years ago it was 1 in 6,now it is 1 in 3. A little more than scary isn't it? Again, I am not trying to step on anyones toes here and I respect everyones opinion This is only mine. Now if I have offended anybody let me know.....I am sure you will!!!! John (FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

    So true
    Hi John
    I really agree with you. My Mom has had breast and bladder cancer and Mom in law has melanoma. My sister had breast cancer. Father in law died from colon ca. All cancer no matter the type is difficult. Some more than others. As you know I am now about to have rads for my third reoccurance. You are not stepping on my toes. I value your opinions and advice.
    peaceful healing
    Lisha
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #20
    forme said:

    So true
    Hi John
    I really agree with you. My Mom has had breast and bladder cancer and Mom in law has melanoma. My sister had breast cancer. Father in law died from colon ca. All cancer no matter the type is difficult. Some more than others. As you know I am now about to have rads for my third reoccurance. You are not stepping on my toes. I value your opinions and advice.
    peaceful healing
    Lisha

    It's all hard
    No toes were stepped on. We all have our respective opinions and I honor them all. We (all cancer patients) got screwed. It makes me so sad that the numbers of victims is on the rise every year. I totally believe that our reliance on plastics has everything to do with it. If you look around - everything is made of plastic!! So we have those chemicals leeching into our houses every day... and have for years!! Sitting here I am looking at: my computer, my remote, my phone my slippers, my pen- all made from plastic. Can't be good.

    My Dad worked with plastic all of his working life. Used to come home from work with resin (what the plastic was made from) all over him. Sadly, my sister got Hodgkins at 16 and now I have NHL. No way to know for sure, but it seems that it could be an environmental issue rather than heredity.

    I digress..... back to the topic. IT ALL SUCKS!
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #21
    onlytoday said:

    It's all hard
    No toes were stepped on. We all have our respective opinions and I honor them all. We (all cancer patients) got screwed. It makes me so sad that the numbers of victims is on the rise every year. I totally believe that our reliance on plastics has everything to do with it. If you look around - everything is made of plastic!! So we have those chemicals leeching into our houses every day... and have for years!! Sitting here I am looking at: my computer, my remote, my phone my slippers, my pen- all made from plastic. Can't be good.

    My Dad worked with plastic all of his working life. Used to come home from work with resin (what the plastic was made from) all over him. Sadly, my sister got Hodgkins at 16 and now I have NHL. No way to know for sure, but it seems that it could be an environmental issue rather than heredity.

    I digress..... back to the topic. IT ALL SUCKS!

    I AGREE WITH THAT!!!!!
    I totally agree with you on the environmental issues. Plastics could very well be a carrier of of what the problem is. Nothing but chemical produced products. There is nothing natural anymore. Look at the foods we eat and what they use for preservatives: man made chemicals. It pisses me off that they keep shoving this stuff on us and pretending the problem does not exist. I really do not believe it is hereditary at all. I believe our resistence is what is hereditary. The ones with the less resistence get the prize. Some prize right? Got to watch myself before I know it I will jumping up and down on the soapbox. Anyway here we are talking about what we are going thru and all the ups and downs of treatment because we can't change things one way or the other. We just have to keep pluggin' and doing our best to beat this monster. John FNHL-1-4A-5/10) (REMISSION)

Discussion Boards