feeling very sad

Tina
oh darling girl....I am so sorry you started out at chemo this way. Please don't....yes in the cancer game lots of people lose....here on the forum and all those you meet in hospital but that does NOT mean Jorge is going to ....he is young and you both CAN do this.

Tina try and elastic band on your wrist....every time you you get big huge black thoughts give the elastic a little snap and say to yourself STOP! I will not think big black thoughts....we can do this...


how did the chemo go for Jorge????

hugs
mags

Understandable...
...that you are feeling these emotions and thinking these thoughts, Tina.

After all, you are both just starting your journey with Cancer and have stepped off into a world full of Unknowns. We've all been there before and remember how it was for each of us.

Even after 6 years, my wife is just now really thinking of a life without me and I'm sure it scares her, I've seen her cry about it, so I know it's on her mind. But, we just take it one surgery, one treatment, one day at a time. That's the thing to do - just get through each day and before you know it, you're well on your way.

There is a lot to learn - there is much to experience with the Cancer process - and none of it is easy - you are busy growing in new directions now (the both of you) and quite frankly, sometimes growth is scary, especially with something like Cancer.

There are always going to be people that are sicker than one's self - and you just have to be grateful that you are both not there and that hope does look good for the both of you. Jorge has youth on his side and this will fare him well for the battles that are to come - the mental, physical, and perhaps the spiritual battle.

Recurrence is the toughest fight of all and Cancer can be relentless in its pursuit. Which is the reason you both must do everything you can do right now, while you have Cancer at the crossroads. If something were to ever come back....I've had 3 recurrences, you just would deal with it at that time - put the new gameplan together - and together both execute it to the best of your abilities. That's all the patient and caregiver on any team in this room can do, on any given day of our situation.

You're just getting started, so take note of everything, and feel and experience what comes to you and then stay with the business at hand. You both do that and you are taking back some control of your lives and that will help you in many ways. You will see - it will be ok and many folks are here for you...including me.

-Craig:)

Tina
I am really sorry that chemo started this way. Every story is different + none of us knows exactly how our story will go. Some right here have had tumour markers in the 1000s + have had success with treatment. Try to focus on all the positives. Jorge is getting chemo now + hopefully will have a great response. This journey truly is one day at a time + often in three month chunks (between scans). I still have not had any surgery for my tumours; at first I was devastated, but when they discovered I had mets to my liver my surgeon's nurse said to me "if you had surgery now for the two primary tumours, the liver mets will grow because you couldn't have surgery for quite some time pre + post surgery. The chemo will work systemically on all parts of your body". I have had good response + have a good quality of life. The two primary tumours were non-detectable after just 4 chemo treatments.

Try to have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We really need to enjoy every day as much as we can. Sometimes we just want the cancer part to be over, rightfully so, but there is a lot of living to be had, even with cancer. I hope Jorge tolerated the chemo ok.

Buzzard said:

Tina.....
Tina,
God forbid that something should happen to the both of you at an early age but it is indeed a fact that someday and hopefully a longgg time, that all of us will be faced with the fact that one of us will go through the loss of their beloved spouse or loved one. It is ever so important in that case to make everything out of the time we do have here on this earth and not to dwell to much on the would of, could of, should of's . Yes, it is so kindhearted to think of others as most all of us do but we have to move on afterwards and not think about what could happen, we already have enough on our plates as it is. I look back and see how much time I wasted after my first diagnosis by griping and complaining and worrying about this and that when in reality I couldn't do one thing to change it..I simply decided to not try and think about the final score of the game, but to enjoy the innings played during it...thats what is the important part of all of this, what we do before the game is called , whether it is called for rain, fog, or even for winning it. Don't beat yourself up to bad, although it is legal to do so and sometimes necessary for venting purposes, it doesn't and shouldn't fit into your lives. Oh and BTW, he is still around so thats something to be very thankful and happy about......Love Hope and many many memories to you both...........Clift

Tina
just cheer up!

Not all the same
I understand how you would feel sad about all this, but every case is different. You have to pray things will go so much better for your husband than that poor lady.

Hang in there!

*hugs*
Gail

Dear Tina
I was given 4 to 6 months after being diagnosed in February of this year.
I gave away my beloved 1964 Bug, my two family Totems that I grew up with, all my valuable possessions (with the exception of my engagement ring, which I plan on wearing until I'm gone) went to those that I knew would care about them. I cried, I ranted, I raved, I cursed and prayed to God, often in the same sentence.
My "wake" video was made, a separate one for my children, husband and others close to me.
Turned out they were wrong, I'm still here, and will be for quite some time, and I'm NOT the least bit sad about it. My possessions I gave away, were meant to be with those that have them now. I get to see them enjoy them. I'm just darn happy I'm still here!!!
My CEA count was 2154, that's a pretty high tumor count. I have mets everywhere, but guess what, I still feel good, happy, gardening (I'm in California, just planted my beautiful winter flowers) my CEA is now 5.8.
Each and everyone of us is different, when I gave my onc's my thanks for his combo of chemo that has continued my life, and continued it with quality, he informed me, he was just along for the ride. And I realized, we're all here on earth along for the ride, I just hope we get to enjoy it for quite some time.
I guess what I'm saying is, have a little faith, sure the tears and bad thoughts will come, but let's all just sit back and enjoy this ride of life, and plan on being around a long time for the ups and downs.
Winter Marie