port-chemo-wife

Lou,
Just wanted you to know
Lou,
Just wanted you to know you will be in our thoughts and prayers. I'm sure your wife is just upset that you have to go through this. She will be in our prayers also.
Sincerely,
Linda and Ellie

Best wishes on treatment
Dear Lou,

Hoping all goes well with the port install and your treatments.

As far as the wife goes, it almost sounds like she is trying to prepare herself for an eventuality that may not happen. It may also be that she did not recognize after your first diagnosis and treatment that all of us who have had cancer are at high risk for it occurring again.

I understand her looking at the quality vs quantity issue. As a person who has had a cancer diagnosis, I know I did and continue to.

I hope that she can reconsile herself to your decision and that your treatment this time is kinder to you and allows both to find some joy in being together.

I hope you will post even during your treatment so that we know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

Be well, Lou
Hey, Lou.

I will be praying for you and your wife, and I do hope we hear a report that you're NED again. I think if your reports start coming back that you're beating back this cancer, your wife might start feeling better and may not make such negative comments.

You're a valued part of this group, so please let us know how you're doing.

*hugs*
Gail

Lou
I am sorry you have all this to deal with. As so many have said, your treatment last time gave you 4 years NED + I am guessing you + your wife have some good memories from that time. You can make many more. It is good to hear your positive attitude - that you are stronger, know what to expect etc. I don't know if you had a port last time, but the power port I have has been wonderful + has made this journey a little easier. I am sending you warm thoughts for huge success with this chemo. Please don't wait 6 months to let us know how you are doing; we are all cheering for you.

Please keep us updated
While you are doing chemo again is a good time to KEEP posting. It is amazing the number of great little tips I got to deal with issues that came up during treatment that I wouldn't have gotten anywhere else. Pleae keep posting, and keep us updated on how you are doing, and let us know when you have bothersome issues that someone might have a solution for - or at least an idea to lessen the troubles.

As for your wife, I'm sure she is in some sort of shock. This isn't nice, and I apologize if I offend you, but I'd like to slap her! Maybe it would wake her out of her shock so she can move forward into a more productive mode. She signed on "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." I think she needs a reminder. I bet you'd be there to help her if she needs it through sickness or whatever troubles come her way. She owes you the same. I'd like to see her deal with the hand & foot syndrome and not complain. Or any of the other miserable side effects chemo causes. You got 4 extra years for your 6 months of treatment last time. I'd take that in a heartbeat! Half a year to get 4 more years. Worth it? ABSOLUTELY! And even if it is colon cancer that takes you in the end, if chemo now buys you another 4 years before the next battle, that is definitely worth it!

I only got a couple months after my first battle - we thought I was clear, but it turns out I wasn't. If anyone in my family told me it isn't worth it for me to do chemo again right now because it didn't work last time, I think I would slap them. Just like I feel like doing to your wife. She needs a huge wake up call! I endured a lot more crap than anyone expected my first round of 12 chemos. But that won't stop me from doing it again to buy me more time. I got to watch my third child graduate from high school this spring. I'll watch the second one graduate from college this coming spring. And I plan to be around to see the youngest graduate high school in 3 years, and college in 7! And luckily I've got a lot of friends and family that support that. I would have more trouble if I refused to try again - then they'd be the ones slapping me!

Wifes Reaction
Sorry you are heading back into all this fun and games! I am currently sitting at home with 5FU running into my chest! This is my 12th treatment, so I will soon be having tests to see where we are.

Your wifes reaction is hard to figure. I do know that I do not feel that my family "gets" what I am going through at all! The neuropathy thing is especially hard to explain to anyone.
I have heard that many times the spouse tends to become almost hostile and nonsupportive.
My husband and daughter really don't help me except for the transportation to the treatments.
When I ask for help I usually get a lot of crap from them! I am sure there is a lot of denial on their part, but your wifes reaction seems like she is a bit depressed?

Wishing you the best.....Keep us informed....it is good to see that others are going through the same things as you are!

Take Care.....Barb

Lou
I will be sending out some special prayers for you during this time. It seems that if your wife is having trouble with your current situation and you are beginning your treatments again that you might need the support you get here even more. I'd hope that you'd reconsider staying away for 6 months. Try to think of this time as a transition, a time in which you are preparing for a healthier retirement. I am hoping that with your better health and previous experience you do much better with the treatments this time.