David is heading home with hospice - liver is failing

pf78248
pf78248 Member Posts: 209
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
It is so sad for me to report David, my best friend and husband, has progressive liver failure. A little background. He was dx 4/3/2008 with stage 3C colon cancer. Had a resection and went on chemo for six months. In 12/08 had a ct scan showing cancer was in liver. Surgeons in San Antonio told us he was inoperable. He went back on chemo and RFA was scheduled. On the operating table for the RFA they could not detect the cancer. So back on chemo he went. In 10!/09 the tumor was back.

We came to MD Anderson then, went through biopsies, portal vein embolization, more chemo, and on 3/24/10 he had the resection. Seventy five percent of his liver was removed and his main bile duct had to be resected as well and connected directly to his colon. Numerous bile duct leaks, then an infection, and a procedure was done to unclog the ducts but they were too narrow for the interventional radiologist to repair. David has been going down hill since the surgery in March.

Friday I drove him back to MDA for hospitalization. Our surgeon had the talk no one wants to hear. There were no more options. We were told he was not a candidate for a liver transplant due to the primary cancer. Short of a miracle it was time for palliative care. It could be here at MDA or home.

So tomorrow David will be discharged after selecting a hospice and we will return home Tuesday. My heart is broken. I can't imagine what the future holds. Family and close friends flew to Houston from as far away as Seattle to be with us. We've spent the weekend in tears and laughter and the outpouring of love and support has been amazing.

I did not write this to discourage anyone. My only regret is we didn't get to MDA sooner before all the chemo had damaged his liver and maybe his chances would have been better. The nurses, PA, and surgeon here are fabulous and caring. David's nurse cried when she found out we were going into hospice and told him he was her favorite patient ever. David is such a character that no one who meets him ever forgets him.

This board has meant so much to me and there isn't a greater group of people anywhere. Be proud of the service you do to educate and inform but most of all love and support each other. David never posted but he was so happy to know I found this board to be my support group. No one knows what we go through better than this group.

Love, hugs and healing to all.
Sadly,
Priscilla
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Comments

  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Priscilla,
    I can't tell you

    Priscilla,

    I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this news. I will hold you + David in my thoughts. It sounds like David is a wonderful man + it is wonderful that so many people flew in to support you this weekend. Take good care.
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
    I'll be sending my best
    Priscilla, David is one lucky man to have you by his side. I'll be sending my best his way!!

    Brooks
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Priscilla:(
    Priscilla, I was my on my way to bed and decided to take another look and saw your post. My heart is heavy with your latest news on David. I can only imagine what you are both feeling at this moment of time.

    MDA is one of the top rated hospitals in our nation and out on the cutting edge of medicine - I know if they felt there was another option, they would be pursuing it. After having gone to one of the best hospitals, I don't want to patronize you and say seek another opinion. I know you are both highly educated people, who know that you could always seek another opinion.

    I've been told before, when my liver had cancer, that I too, was not eligible for a liver transplant due to cancer.

    There are times when the body can no longer take the repeated pounding that treatments and surgeries take on each one of us. Sometimes, it is just like that - the mind might be willing, but the body just cannot follow.

    I don't know where you guys are with this and whether there is something else that can be done. It sounds like David's battles with surgery were very intense. Like so many people here, I was hoping for such good news - you both sounded so positive.

    I support you both in whichever route that you decide to take. The easy thing to say is to keep fighting - but I'm not there to feel and experience what you have both been through - to really know whether the time has or come - or time to regroup and try something else.

    I certainly don't want to insult your intelligence - I don't have the answer to this question and have always felt it is a patient's option on how to handle their journey, after all they know first hand from going through it how much they feel about their own situation.

    I'm not giving up if you are not - and will send peace and comfort from Arlington 260 miles South down I-45 to where you are now. My thoughts are with you both during this most trying time and I'm hoping for a miracle.

    Your fellow Texan
    -Craig
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    Priscilla
    I am sorry to read about the decline of David. I cannot imagine losing your husband but I know what it means to lose your best friend. My sister passed away from this awful disease in April. She was only 40!
    Hospice can be a wonderful thing in that you know David will not suffer. But, regardless, it is heart wrenching!
    My prayers to you and your family.
    Marie
  • KFen725
    KFen725 Member Posts: 108 Member
    So sorry
    Priscilla,

    I am so sorry that you have to walk down this path... My mom died at age 62 from colon cancer just this past March. Although those last few weeks were exceedingly hard to watch, it was the biggest privilege of my life so far (I'm 27) to be able to play a part in her care. Having your husband at home instead of in the hospital makes things easier somehow, and hospice is wonderful. They are kind, caring, and do an excellent job.

    My prayers are with you in this time.

    Sincerely,
    Kelly
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    cyberhugs and prayers
    Priscilla,

    My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry it has come to this. Maybe there will still be a miracle. Although they seem to be rare, I know miracles do happen.
    I'm glad your family was able to be there during this time.
    I'm saying a prayer for your hubby right now as I type this.
    May God give you both peace and get you through this difficult time.

    Lisa
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    cyberhugs and prayers
    oops- I must have clicked it twice-it allowed me to erase my duplicate msg, but not delete it.
  • Devasted
    Devasted Member Posts: 185
    lisa42 said:

    cyberhugs and prayers
    oops- I must have clicked it twice-it allowed me to erase my duplicate msg, but not delete it.

    I'm so sorry...
    Priscilla,

    I'm so sorry to hear about David, can't sleep this morning..thinking of my own husband.
    He is my best friend, too. I am so sad to hear what you must be going through, but David
    is so fortunate to have you by his side. I'll be thinking of you...take care.
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Dear Priscilla
    Dear Priscilla,

    My heart is breaking for you and David right now. I am so sorry. It sounds like you are surrounded by the love of some wonderful people. Know that we will be here for you in the time to come. You and David are in my prayers.

    With aloha and prayers,

    Kathleen
  • Dear Priscilla
    Dear Priscilla,

    My heart is breaking for you and David right now. I am so sorry. It sounds like you are surrounded by the love of some wonderful people. Know that we will be here for you in the time to come. You and David are in my prayers.

    With aloha and prayers,

    Kathleen

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    Thinking about you both..
    your in my thoughts and prayers. Sonia
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    Sonia32 said:

    Thinking about you both..
    your in my thoughts and prayers. Sonia

    I am
    so sorry, you and your husband are in my thoughts

    michelle
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    in my prayers
    I'm sorry this has become so difficult. I pray for peace and strength for you all
    mary
  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    msccolon said:

    in my prayers
    I'm sorry this has become so difficult. I pray for peace and strength for you all
    mary

    Dear Priscilla, My words

    Dear Priscilla, My words cannot convey how sorry I am to hear this news. God bless you and David.

    - Cynthia
  • ktlcs
    ktlcs Member Posts: 358
    So Sorry
    We are so sorry to hear this news. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both as you go through this part of the journey

    K
  • Erinb
    Erinb Member Posts: 293

    Dear Priscilla, My words

    Dear Priscilla, My words cannot convey how sorry I am to hear this news. God bless you and David.

    - Cynthia

    Priscilla,
    I am so sorry to

    Priscilla,
    I am so sorry to hear this bad news. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Erin
  • newperson
    newperson Member Posts: 76
    Sorry
    I'm so sorry to hear this. The damned cancer. I hate it. May God grant you strength and peace when you and your husband go through this.
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    It's so hard to see the ones
    It's so hard to see the ones we love so much and care so much on this board are fading.My heart is broken when I see news like this.You and your family are in my prayers.Take care.
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    Priscilla,
    you and David are in my thoughts and prayers. I too hope for a miracle. They have been known to happen.

    Love and Hugs to you both,

    Holly
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    Priscilla:
    I am so sorry to read this latest news. As caregivers, we always worry should we have done this or that or done something different, gone somewhere different, changed doctors and the list goes on and on. This disease has a mind of its own and despite our best efforts things sometimes just don't go our way for our loved one despite our best efforts.

    I wish you and David peace and comfort in the days ahead. Take care -

    Tina and George