Climbing out of the valley!

Hey all! 2010 will go down as a strange year. During my anual physcial, the Dr found a mass near my anus. I had myself convinced it was an external hemroid. Well it was not. 1/29 I had surgery to have it removed. What a pain in the **** (lol I know I'm sorry) that was! Took about 2 weeks to recover. Then the surgen sent me to the oncloigest. I was expecting to get a clean bill of health from him. Instead I heard words like chemo and rad. And was told if I did'nt get these treatments, I could look forward to pooping in a zip lock bag attached to my hip! I cried on the drive home. Well I worked with the chemo and rad Drs and set up treatments. I had a port put in my chest so I wouldn't have to get stuck for an IV every time. On 3/16 I got a "chemo ball" and had the chemo drugs pumped into me 24/7 for 5 days. I had no real side effets during this time and remember thinking that maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.( ha ha joke was on me) The following monday I got set up and started my rad treatments. About mid week I started to feel poorly. Had nausa and dry heaves in the am, and my mouth was starting to swell up and I was losing my ability to taste. It took all my energy just to go from the bed to the bathrom. It kinda felt like a very bad flu. Well. it got worse ( a lot worse) I could not eat,drink or take my meds. The Dr put me in the hospital for several days to give me fluids and pain relief. I was so sick I didnt remember a lot about that stay. When I got sent home, I still felt very sick and could not eat ( I lost about 25# in a couple of weeks.) This lasted a couple more weeks and slowly I stared to feel better and could finally eat! I contiued with my rad and in the mean time the chemo Dr cancelled my second round (he was afraid I would not make it through a second round). I had my last "wide angle" rad treatment today and will begin 6 tageted rad treatments tom. But of course today when I got back from my rad treatment I had a bowel movement that felt like I pooped a 2x4. The pain was easily a 10 and burns severly. Dr is getting an RX for me.(but now I'm scared to death to poop again). So, if the pain meds work, I wiil go back to rad in the morning. I have only gained back 2# and only part of my taste is back. I am tired and still a little scared . But still I feel a lot better than a month ago. Yet, I am also starting to feel happy again and can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I want to thank ALL of you who comforted me, gave me advice, and shared your stories. It has been great comfort eapecially at 2am when I was in pain and panked a little. If I can help anyone on here please let me know and don't be afraid to ask me anything! Good luck to all of you and I hope to hear more from you. (Almost) a cancer survivor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Steve