Terminal

Terri_Nag
Terri_Nag Member Posts: 7
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
My husband was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma Stage IV in July. We have gone thru Chemo, radiation, teeth removal, tonsilectomy. All of that still left lymph nodes on both sides and behind the nasal cavity. We were told last week that this is a terminal cancer. The Dr. said he could not remove the cancer. My husband said now what....the Dr. said "go live". 6mos to 2years. I am scared. Not of losing my husband but of what is ahead of us which we have not been told yet.

Comments

  • junklady
    junklady Member Posts: 88 Member
    #2
    Terminal too
    My husband has end stage laryngeal cancer. He had 7 weeks radiation 2 years ago, now it's back. Dr. cannot do radiation again. ENT wanted to do radical laryngectomy with only 50/50 chance of cure. My husband opted for quality of life, this was back in July 09. They gave him 6 months. He is still here with me today, although he has a tracheostomy to assist with breathing. He is on the downhill decline though. He sleeps 50% of the time and is taking hydrocodone. I just don't know how much longer he has. I also fear of what's ahead. I just go crazy, like living in a box you can't get out of. I have my mini melt downs, crying just because I can't control it. He always says, "don't cry". It's just hard to turn it off. Keep in touch, maybe we can hold each other up.
  • delnative
    delnative Member Posts: 450
    #3
    junklady said:

    Terminal too
    My husband has end stage laryngeal cancer. He had 7 weeks radiation 2 years ago, now it's back. Dr. cannot do radiation again. ENT wanted to do radical laryngectomy with only 50/50 chance of cure. My husband opted for quality of life, this was back in July 09. They gave him 6 months. He is still here with me today, although he has a tracheostomy to assist with breathing. He is on the downhill decline though. He sleeps 50% of the time and is taking hydrocodone. I just don't know how much longer he has. I also fear of what's ahead. I just go crazy, like living in a box you can't get out of. I have my mini melt downs, crying just because I can't control it. He always says, "don't cry". It's just hard to turn it off. Keep in touch, maybe we can hold each other up.

    Go live
    What wise words.
    Who is to say how many days any of us have left, even those of us who've never had cancer.
    On Monday a good friend of mine, an attorney who could have made boatloads of money in private practice but chose instead to represent the downtrodden by working for the Community Legal Aid Society, was run down on the sidewalk and killed by a hit-and-run driver. He was a far better person than I could ever hope to be, yet his life was snuffed out in an instant. Ain't none of us here forever.
    Go live.
    That's all we can do.

    --Jim in Delaware
  • Kent Cass
    Kent Cass Member Posts: 1,898 Member
    #4
    delnative said:

    Go live
    What wise words.
    Who is to say how many days any of us have left, even those of us who've never had cancer.
    On Monday a good friend of mine, an attorney who could have made boatloads of money in private practice but chose instead to represent the downtrodden by working for the Community Legal Aid Society, was run down on the sidewalk and killed by a hit-and-run driver. He was a far better person than I could ever hope to be, yet his life was snuffed out in an instant. Ain't none of us here forever.
    Go live.
    That's all we can do.

    --Jim in Delaware

    Terri_Nag
    Yes, go live. And Jim's post does put things in a correct perspective. If the battle of treatment is no longer an option with possible Positives, then what is left is- to go live. As for what is to come, the med help that is available eases this matter to a great degree. From my own need and use of morph during my aggresive C&R, to my Sister's last couple months of stage-4 lung, Terri, I have experience along this path of life. Know this time for what it is, and live each day to the fullest- as you and your husband want to live. The morph always comes into play, and the help it provides is rather incredible in regards to actual suffering. Go live, as Jim advises, and know that any imagined suffering will be minimal. A very large time in your lives, Terri, and all of our Prayers are with you.

    Believe

    kcass
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #5
    What's ahead
    Hello Terri_Nag, my heart and hope go to you and your husband Terri. I'm not surprised that the doctors were reluctant to supply more detail on the progression of your husband's condition at prognosis time. Still, they are the ones you will have to rely on for possible scenarios, and for the pallative medical care they will be practicing to keep your husband comfortable.


    Hal
  • Terri_Nag
    Terri_Nag Member Posts: 7
    #6
    junklady said:

    Terminal too
    My husband has end stage laryngeal cancer. He had 7 weeks radiation 2 years ago, now it's back. Dr. cannot do radiation again. ENT wanted to do radical laryngectomy with only 50/50 chance of cure. My husband opted for quality of life, this was back in July 09. They gave him 6 months. He is still here with me today, although he has a tracheostomy to assist with breathing. He is on the downhill decline though. He sleeps 50% of the time and is taking hydrocodone. I just don't know how much longer he has. I also fear of what's ahead. I just go crazy, like living in a box you can't get out of. I have my mini melt downs, crying just because I can't control it. He always says, "don't cry". It's just hard to turn it off. Keep in touch, maybe we can hold each other up.

    Terminal Too
    Thank you so much for your kind words. I will definately keep in touch. I emailed Drs today asking what the heck to do .... so I will see what they say if anything.
  • Terri_Nag
    Terri_Nag Member Posts: 7
    #7
    delnative said:

    Go live
    What wise words.
    Who is to say how many days any of us have left, even those of us who've never had cancer.
    On Monday a good friend of mine, an attorney who could have made boatloads of money in private practice but chose instead to represent the downtrodden by working for the Community Legal Aid Society, was run down on the sidewalk and killed by a hit-and-run driver. He was a far better person than I could ever hope to be, yet his life was snuffed out in an instant. Ain't none of us here forever.
    Go live.
    That's all we can do.

    --Jim in Delaware

    Go live
    Thank you so much for the insite to time spent everyday as it is your last. That is all I can do.
  • Terri_Nag
    Terri_Nag Member Posts: 7
    #8
    Hal61 said:

    What's ahead
    Hello Terri_Nag, my heart and hope go to you and your husband Terri. I'm not surprised that the doctors were reluctant to supply more detail on the progression of your husband's condition at prognosis time. Still, they are the ones you will have to rely on for possible scenarios, and for the pallative medical care they will be practicing to keep your husband comfortable.


    Hal

    What's ahead
    Thank you so much for your support. I don't know what the possible scenarios are
    so sent an email for an apointment since this prognosis is so new.
  • catya88
    catya88 Member Posts: 50
    #9
    Maybe end of life
    Terri - My boyfriend had 7 weeks radiation and chemo and now it has spread to his bones, lungs and he has skin cancer. Don't know if it will help, we are trying to get second opinion through Dana Farber Cancer Institute. Have you thought of clinical trials? We are looking into that. Tim's oncologist didn't even do that!

    I know this difficult, it is for me to. At least his doctor was upfront, Tim's doctors didn't have the balls to say how long, only one said "live your life".

    This is a great site, keeping posting for support, we are all here for you - Cathy

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