Sometimes I just get tired of it ~UPDATE POSTED~

just4Brooks
just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
You know what? Some days I just get tired of the whole thing. Sometimes it hard to be positive when going through cancer. Most days I'm fine but today it's just too much. I know I'll be fine and I'll get out of today’s slump. But does anyone else just get tired of it sometimes?


Life is NOT funny sometimes
Brooks
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Comments

  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    you are not alone
    I think if any of us say it NEVER gets us down, we'd be lying! Our bodies have turned on us! Our bodies have changed and so have our lives! While there are always positives in everything, sometimes it just SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take the time to wallow when you need it, then pick yourself back up. After all, without the darkness, how would we recognize the light? Stay strong, Brooks!
    mary
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    Yup
    and I never get 'down'. I was 'there' during my bout with constipation. YUK

    Brooks, don't you think the discovery of the two girl's bodies and the search for more is weighing on your heart? When the guy kidnapped the Georgia hiker, chopped off her head and then dozens were discovered linked to him..... I was heartbroken about it.
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342

    Yup
    and I never get 'down'. I was 'there' during my bout with constipation. YUK

    Brooks, don't you think the discovery of the two girl's bodies and the search for more is weighing on your heart? When the guy kidnapped the Georgia hiker, chopped off her head and then dozens were discovered linked to him..... I was heartbroken about it.

    I
    Do get sick of the bag, and the chemo and feeling so bad I can't do anything for my kids at times, where they are doing things for me, I feel so bad at times, and guilty, where I am half the woman I used to be, that leaves me in tears alot. But I do get through it, because I'm glad this happening to me and not my kids or hubby.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    YES
    I do. It weighs heavily on my mind and my heart, that sometimes, I just want to shut it all off! I think that is normal and I also think this goes for anything in life. It is part of the cycle. But this particular battle can be so draining!
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    Oh ya, Brooks,
    it's an up and down thing. Some days are good even if the side effects are not and vice versa and sideways too. I think just overall it can be difficult to live fully each moment when mortality stares you in the face each moment too. I don't think that's a bad thing at all; in fact, my practice, or faith, is stronger and richer for it. That does not mean that I think well of the cancer at all. But dealing with cancer is my path. I find that being outside and just watching things likes birds or waves or clouds with no other distractions, just breathing, often takes the edge off.

    all the best, Leslie
  • lcarper2
    lcarper2 Member Posts: 635 Member
    lesvanb said:

    Oh ya, Brooks,
    it's an up and down thing. Some days are good even if the side effects are not and vice versa and sideways too. I think just overall it can be difficult to live fully each moment when mortality stares you in the face each moment too. I don't think that's a bad thing at all; in fact, my practice, or faith, is stronger and richer for it. That does not mean that I think well of the cancer at all. But dealing with cancer is my path. I find that being outside and just watching things likes birds or waves or clouds with no other distractions, just breathing, often takes the edge off.

    all the best, Leslie

    It all sucks
    some days I feel like I am in someone elses skin I feel so bad and I know God allows us to struggle in times like this and he wants us to ask ourselves questions. He allows us to grow in him. My faith has grown so much since this started. It bothers me when some one in here pass away and I feel like why am I still here. I am here because he has a job for me to do . Brooks you have a job to do as well and he will guide you in the right direction....
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Yep
    It's not possible to be happy and positive all the time. I'm a very determined and optimistic person by nature. Some days are just too much. Today I heard, "You're so strong!" so many times I wanted to barf. I don't want to be strong ALL the time. I don't feel strong, more like backed into a corner. What is my option but to be strong? List my choices for me, please. Sigh...

    No Monday blues for me today. I even blogged about it today. Enjoying the unseasonably sunny weather and about to get in the hot tub. The little things are enough some days. The big things aren't nearly enough on others.

    Welcome to your new normal. Sorry.

    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

    Kimby
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    And how...
    No one can be "up" all of the time. I certainly have plenty my of times with being fed up with the grind of the ever changing "new normals". It's good to know you are normal Brooks. Not that I ever doubted it. Tomorrow brings another day, hopefully a better one.
    -phil
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    Tired of it?
    He- double hockey sticks YES! Chin up, cheer up and I'll send you some special energy...sparks, thoughts, good wishes, and prayers if you like.

    You rock and you know it! Just look at that million survivors walk facebook page and know Brooks rocks!!You are an inspiration! Banging on the pots & pans hoping you feel great soon.

    -Pat
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    Melancholy

    Brooks:

    I hope your day is improving.

    After almost four years of my husband's fight against this miserable disease, I find that we have more than a few melancholy days when the proverbial black cloud drifts over our world and we are overwhelmed by the stresses caused by the disease.

    Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot. It occurs to me that this fight is so complicated that it is difficult to know what to panic about and what to take stoically.

    Tired, too.

    Hatshepsut
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Hi Brooks,Sorry to hear you
    Hi Brooks,

    Sorry to hear you are having an "off" day. I know I have them too, or sometimes just an off "minute", "hour" etc. It sounds like you have done a lot of great things lately - the rocks, trip to Disney, etc. I hope you can hold those wonderful things in your heart when you are feeling down - it sounds like overall doing great!

    ps your sign-off was funny!
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member

    Melancholy

    Brooks:

    I hope your day is improving.

    After almost four years of my husband's fight against this miserable disease, I find that we have more than a few melancholy days when the proverbial black cloud drifts over our world and we are overwhelmed by the stresses caused by the disease.

    Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot. It occurs to me that this fight is so complicated that it is difficult to know what to panic about and what to take stoically.

    Tired, too.

    Hatshepsut

    and as long as you're still breathing, ten minutes from now you just might be laughing....Springtimes coming, its time to regenerate,rejuevenate...Feel better....steve
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Yes
    Beyond the disease itself, Cancer and what goes with it brings emotional lows which can be devistating.

    When that happens, one thing which may help is to take out pictures of all you hold dear...your family, whatever. Then think about all the future picutres you want with all of them right beside you.

    I have often found that when something bothers me emotionally, I write down what it is, how I am feeling then burn the paper...a symbolic way of getting rid of the feelings.

    Living is a tough business...and those of us with Cancer know that only too well.

    As you said, you will be fine...and as you can see from the responses...everyone here is in your corner.

    Take care and have a brighter tomorrow,

    Marie
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    More Days
    than I care to admit. I am cancer free and have had two clear scans, and I should be jumping up and down, well I did last week, but I too have those days. I cant even watch TV without a commercial about cancer or something on the news, I just have had enough of it, I would like to take a break, ya know....

    Bottom line you are not alone my friend...not at all...

    Keep on keeping on..

    Beth
  • sheri22
    sheri22 Member Posts: 273
    YEP EVERY OTHER WEEK
    I do get tired of it and moody espiccally the day before and the morning of, which is every other week, it is hard to make any plans for chemo week because I never know how I will feel
    I think we all understand exactly what you are feeling and you are right we all get out of that slump hope you feel better tonight,

    take care Sheri22
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    Yep, and I'm a newbie at
    Yep, and I'm a newbie at this.

    I hated today. I posted on FB something about "I hate your guts" but today my guts hate me. It's from this freakin cancer and I hate it. I just hate feeling sick anytime.

    You're definitely not alone. EVER.
  • sweta
    sweta Member Posts: 20
    I know the feeling
    Hi Brooks,
    I can understand the feeling,my bf has been NED for five years and hates talking about the whole thing even today.Even i do...sometimes i just wish it would disappear..this imaginary sword we have hanging on our heads.I hate having to tell him to watch what he eats or worry about it..he's just 28 for god sakes.Why should he have to do all this.But i guess this is just the way it is supposed to be..and i'm glad we have the time and means to try and make it better.*Hugs*
    Sweta
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    We hear ya
    Sometimes I think George just gets sick of being sick and tired and I got to admit that so do I. It passes. Take care - Tina
  • mark440
    mark440 Member Posts: 63
    YEP!
    I havent even started my folfox (next week) ... it will SUCK more!!! hang in there B !
  • johnsfo
    johnsfo Member Posts: 47
    mark440 said:

    YEP!
    I havent even started my folfox (next week) ... it will SUCK more!!! hang in there B !

    just let it happen
    Yes, I do know those feelings. Some days I just let myself go there, feeling sad and tired and sorry for myself. We've all have good reasons for that.

    Then I find my resiliency, people and things that make me feel good, sheer determination, my sense of humor, who knows what else, and I realize that despite it all I'm leading a good life and having a good time.

    Peace.

    John