Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?

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  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    I will say I have been
    I will say I have been blessed with how things unfolded since my cancer dx- example, my grandson was born 4 days prior to my dx- I am grateful for those 4 days of bliss and joy, they sustained us all through some rough days. Even though a sooner dx would have meant a better outcome for me, I was so grateful to be able to sit out in the sun vs look at the snow from inside. I missed my summer school pay, but was given a grant by the Angel Foundation which covered some missed pay. I don't have disability through my work due to a mess they made, but was able to use sick days and use comp time and didn't miss any funds during the chemo experience from hell. I am a single parent with mostly grown children and my family lives over 3 hours away- yet they managed to alternate chemo treatments and someone was generally always with me. During my sickest days- I had a co-teacher come clean my house top to bottom.

    There weren't any good things that resulted from having cancer- but the bad things did work out and that is a good thing!

    The absolute best and most wonderful thing? That I am on the other side of cancer, I am a survivor and I am looking forward to my life ahead of me.
  • RDFLA
    RDFLA Member Posts: 2
    From Natural Causes
    One day, while thinking about the 8 to 10 months that I was then expected to live (13 months ago), I began thinking about criminals on death row. That's when it occurred to me that those individuals have some advantages over me, a terminal cancer patient. At least in most countries, the condemned knows that when death comes it will be swift, mercifully swift. Again, in most countries, in the absences of illness their deaths will not be preceded by months or years of physical pain -- nor worries about treatments, procedures, medications, financial issues and the burden placed upon family and care givers. Certainly, they know the meaning of anger, fear, regret and stress from many sources and directions but they know somewhat the future holds. Of course, the condemned prisoner may strive for a retrial or reduction of sentence while the cancer patient may strive for a cure or remission. Yet, when it comes to time remaining on Earth after sentencing vs. time remaining after a stage IV diagnosis such as mine, the condemned prisoner most often has the most time remaining.

    Yet, I would NOT want to trade places with a condemned prisoner. I have the comfort of knowing my demise will not be the result of wrong-doing, of having caused pain and death to others. As someone who believes in an afterlife, I need not worry about finding myself in an afterlife environment far worse than what I may have enjoyed otherwise. Then too, I am surrounded by love ones.

    Cancer has given me cause to reflect upon my life. I suppose that is a good thing. Yet, I tend to reflect upon, dwell upon, the mistakes I have made. I know I have also done many good deeds during my life but I can barely remember them if at all. Perhaps, when we do good acts we treat them as routine, remember them as being unremarkable and perhaps that's the way it should be.
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Here's My Take
    Always one of the biggest philosophical questions there is in the world, right Phil?

    To quote you:" Do you think that possibly God wanted you to see something positive from this?"

    Harley got me up early this morning, so now that I'm up, I'll throw in my opinion (good thread BTW).

    As I get older, I'm not sure that we were given Cancer, rather I believe it boils down to the basics of chemistry and metabolism. We are living cells and when the programming goes awry, then cancer settles in and takes hold - our immunne system can either battle it off or not. I think this depends on many factors: Heredity, Genetics, Environment, and Lifestyle.

    If the premise that God were to give Cancer to people on purpose, then there are two many mean and evil people, who are getting away with it. Murderes, rapists, child abusers, corporate embezzlers, spouse abusers and the list is endless...while we don't have their CT scans to review, if they had Cancer, they did not know it and certainly did not learn from it.

    I look for no further evidence than my sister, Suzanne - 18, young and beautiful, with a brilliant mind and a wonderful heart and spirit. She believed in the Lord 100% and was a virgin, who was saving herself for her future husband "when she got married." Imagine that, a good old fashioned girl. She was the better half of us - if you like me, you would have loved her.

    Anyway, she was about to graduate, and her prom 2 weeks away (her dress hanging in her closet) when she was brutally murdered and tortured by a 4X serial rapist. Her life, full of goodness, with a lifetime ahead of her of being a good person, snuffed out in a horrifying 2 day event.

    My point here, is that God no more gave her death, than he gives us Cancer.

    Things happen, because the world is a random, dangerous place at times. Look at the quakes in Haiti and Chile. Mother Nature nearly killed us in an F-3 tornado with 200 mph winds and we walked away.

    Again, there are NO ABSOLUTES in this world, except that the "meter is running" and "you better have it spent before you get the bill."

    Now, what I do believe, is that we are "challenged" at various points in our life - these trials and tribulations lay the groundwork for how we deal with adversity in our lives, how we respond to them, and how we work to overcome a bad or life threatening situation and make it better. This is the true test of a Human Being. How we handle these challenges totally rely upon each individual and what they can or cannot do.

    For me, I have always chosen to fight - if I go down, I go down with the knowledge that Craig gave it all that he had - and all that he never knew that he had. That way, I can go to sleep at night.

    Cancer is a mixed blessing - what has tried to kill me, ultimately changed my outlook on life and forced me to realize there are "others" out there besides myself - and for whatever reason my Cancer has been more about me worrying and trying to help others from what I've learned. Sort of a "cathartic experience for me, so that I'm not consumed in self - I learned that Cancer is an "Equal Opportunity Destroyer."

    Anyone who watched my TV news clip, heard me say, "I never went into Denial - always straight to Anger. Sure, I'm pissed of what it did and tried to do...there were a real couple of times, when it looks like we were going to "turn off the lights" for ol' Craig. And honestly, that was scary...you think you are ready to die, but this is the bravado that you paint on, to get you mentally prepared in case this were the scenario.

    On the other hand, Cancer taught me how to appreciate the simple things in life, and to not get too caught up in the BS that is all around us.

    Cancer has helped form who I am today - and who I am today to each one of you on the board - whether I mean something to you or I do not - I will still be your friend and try to help you. I love the good side of humanity of people loving and helping each other.

    So there you have it, Phil.

    Man, you got me awake now! Take care, NY'er, Tex still loves ya'.

    WTG again on your 6-years...Craig

    Craig
    Craig,
    Your sister was obviously a lovely young woman. What a tragedy for her to be taken from all of you at such a young age and in such a terrible manner. I agree, God had nothing it all to do with her death. I also agree that God does not give people cancer or autism or epilepsy. God can help us and bless us with beautiful people and gifted doctors and help us find peace and courage.
    Anyway, what I meant to say is that was very well written.
    Take care friend.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • kkkelley1
    kkkelley1 Member Posts: 22
    RDFLA said:

    From Natural Causes
    One day, while thinking about the 8 to 10 months that I was then expected to live (13 months ago), I began thinking about criminals on death row. That's when it occurred to me that those individuals have some advantages over me, a terminal cancer patient. At least in most countries, the condemned knows that when death comes it will be swift, mercifully swift. Again, in most countries, in the absences of illness their deaths will not be preceded by months or years of physical pain -- nor worries about treatments, procedures, medications, financial issues and the burden placed upon family and care givers. Certainly, they know the meaning of anger, fear, regret and stress from many sources and directions but they know somewhat the future holds. Of course, the condemned prisoner may strive for a retrial or reduction of sentence while the cancer patient may strive for a cure or remission. Yet, when it comes to time remaining on Earth after sentencing vs. time remaining after a stage IV diagnosis such as mine, the condemned prisoner most often has the most time remaining.

    Yet, I would NOT want to trade places with a condemned prisoner. I have the comfort of knowing my demise will not be the result of wrong-doing, of having caused pain and death to others. As someone who believes in an afterlife, I need not worry about finding myself in an afterlife environment far worse than what I may have enjoyed otherwise. Then too, I am surrounded by love ones.

    Cancer has given me cause to reflect upon my life. I suppose that is a good thing. Yet, I tend to reflect upon, dwell upon, the mistakes I have made. I know I have also done many good deeds during my life but I can barely remember them if at all. Perhaps, when we do good acts we treat them as routine, remember them as being unremarkable and perhaps that's the way it should be.

    My Heart Feels
    DEAR RDFLA,
    Jan 4th was my 5 yr. At 13 mo i was told if you can live for 6 more mo then we will be able to have a % for you, on you, if you will be able to live longer. You are told the % of you getting hit by a car, or the % of you having a heart attack, but I had never heard someone say the % of you living another month.
    The confussion and ache, the bewilderment the disbelief nothing even made sense. My loved ones. The way you caught some of these unexplainable emotions with the death row of a condemed prisoner is awesome. The strength to write that is greatly appreciated. Hold onto someone who loves you and know you are not alone. Grabe onto moments. I am just now learning and believing that HOPE even if its only a glance..helps.
    Reflect on the good deed you just did by sharing a part of you.Thank you for your courage.
    GOOD DEED DONE GOOD
    kim
  • amyb15
    amyb15 Member Posts: 109 Member
    yes, cancer is all bad. It
    yes, cancer is all bad. It does not deserve credit for anything
  • amyb15
    amyb15 Member Posts: 109 Member
    one year ago we were a
    one year ago we were a normal family, living our lives. Now..... beating the cancer is our daily focus....cancer gets no credit, absolutly none, zero.
  • sheri22
    sheri22 Member Posts: 273
    NOT ALL BAD BUT
    I have gained a lot with this I have realized how short life is and how caring people are.

    I am a lot more patient with people, Truth be knowen if I could keep evry thing I have gained from this expierence without the chemo I would rather not have the ca at all but it is an experiance I know we can die at anytime from anything it just sucks to get hit with it every other week at chemo time

    Sheri22
  • kkkelley1
    kkkelley1 Member Posts: 22
    sheri22 said:

    NOT ALL BAD BUT
    I have gained a lot with this I have realized how short life is and how caring people are.

    I am a lot more patient with people, Truth be knowen if I could keep evry thing I have gained from this expierence without the chemo I would rather not have the ca at all but it is an experiance I know we can die at anytime from anything it just sucks to get hit with it every other week at chemo time

    Sheri22

    Amyb15
    HOPE, HOPE, HOPE. Amy try even if it is only a minute at a time to see a glance of hope. Hope of holding the hand right then of someone that loves you. A mom, a dad, a child, a friend, a lover anyone that is there, that you love and that loves you. Hope that you have a small amount of strength left because you know someone that loves you believes in you. Even if you HOPE that tomorrow you have more hope than today. Because with this disease Amy somedays and it sounds like where your at, all you can feel or have is just enough to HOPE for tommorow.Don't get me wrong this thing called cancer does nothing but steal, rob and cheat you of every physical and emotional stability that you thought you had. But that is the startling part we never had much control before cancer, we just thought we did. So right now just give or receive love even if its through a look in your eyes because sometimes the tiny thing is the hope of love, that you need so badly right now
    I won't say it gets better or worse but i will say i have been where you sound and I may be there again tomorrow and if I do I'll need you to help me see HOPE.

    Thanks Amy for listening cause like I said I may need to hear from you tomorrow... Don't lose hope.
    Kim
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    kkkelley1 said:

    Amyb15
    HOPE, HOPE, HOPE. Amy try even if it is only a minute at a time to see a glance of hope. Hope of holding the hand right then of someone that loves you. A mom, a dad, a child, a friend, a lover anyone that is there, that you love and that loves you. Hope that you have a small amount of strength left because you know someone that loves you believes in you. Even if you HOPE that tomorrow you have more hope than today. Because with this disease Amy somedays and it sounds like where your at, all you can feel or have is just enough to HOPE for tommorow.Don't get me wrong this thing called cancer does nothing but steal, rob and cheat you of every physical and emotional stability that you thought you had. But that is the startling part we never had much control before cancer, we just thought we did. So right now just give or receive love even if its through a look in your eyes because sometimes the tiny thing is the hope of love, that you need so badly right now
    I won't say it gets better or worse but i will say i have been where you sound and I may be there again tomorrow and if I do I'll need you to help me see HOPE.

    Thanks Amy for listening cause like I said I may need to hear from you tomorrow... Don't lose hope.
    Kim

    Hope
    What an awesome post! Thank you! "Even if you HOPE that tomorrow you have more hope than today." well said!
    mary