Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?

1356

Comments

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #42
    kimby said:

    Anne
    Yes, I'm very proud of him. Thank you for the kind words. I decided on the "Outwit. Outplay. Outlast." after my onc told me at this point I just need to outlast the cancer. First to quit loses. I'm no quitter!

    Kimby

    Survivor
    A good motto Kimby. You certainly are NOT a quitter.
    I'm glad you didn't pick "I'll have what's behind door #2 Monty"
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    #43
    I have read all of these comments
    And agree with everyone! Cancer sucks the life out of you, and those around you. At the same time, it makes you appreciate the little things in life and the true meaning in life. However, I would not wish this horrific disease on anyone!
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #44
    A thought I had one day
    "If it wasn't for cancer, I'd say I have the perfect life. If it wasn't for cancer, would I even realize this?"
  • pluckey
    pluckey Member Posts: 484 Member
    #45
    JR said:

    What I have learned
    I have learned how many people actually care about me. My lovely wife has always been there for me, and even more now. My father comes to visit regularly, where I would only see him a couple of times a year before. My sisters have traveled to see me several times. I found out that I work for one of the most caring and giving bosses on the planet.

    I get emotional over almost everything, but thats nothing new. And I to have a greater appreciation for the simpler things. My dog playing, conversations wit my grand kids, etc.

    BUT, CANCER STILL BLOWS !!!

    John

    i think my feelings on this
    i think my feelings on this question most closely resembles John's answer.
    Even with my job loss, piles of medical bills and shrinking savings, I don't stay awake at night because of it..like i would have pre-cancer.

    My biggest change is my gratitude and awe at the power of prayer. the incredible prayer warriors around me and my family have been so eye opening and humbling to me. Seeing my siblings so much has been great and reconnecting with several friends from different periods of my life has been amazing and wonderful.

    and, to echo John.. Cancer still blows!!!

    peggy
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    #46
    Lemons and Lemonade...
    I admire those of you who have the calm to find positives in the colon cancer experience. I'm reminded of that old saying: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Unfortunately, in my case (as a caregiver for my husband), I have yet to be able to find any sugar to add to the lemon juice. We are now three years and nine months into this fight and I still find myself devastated by my husband's diagnosis and by the many health challenges he faces.

    I admit that I came to this battle with a lot of baggage. My father died of multiple myeloma many years ago. He was a gentle and truly kind man. He suffered mightily and lost his life not only because of the cancer but because of a dysfunctional system of health care delivery. It was decades ago and we had no health insurance and little money. Although, admittedly, a lot of the promises for financial assistance from pharmaceutical companies and health care providers today are a chimera, imagine what it was like to face that awful disease so long ago with no hope for help. My family never recovered from that experience. Never.

    While I can't bring myself to say that anything about my husband's colon cancer has been good, I can say that we have found some kindness in the world that I/we didn't expect: an oncologist whose soft speech and gentle reassurance buoys us on truly bad days; a prominent surgeon who makes house calls rather than have my weak husband struggle to travel to his office; a charge nurse who throws her arms around us for comfort and solace; a family pet who wraps herself around my husband's body to protect him from an enemy she knows is there but she can't possibly understand; a friend to writes me e-mail notes about politics and books but understands when I'm too tender to talk about cancer.

    Hatshepsut
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #47
    Can't see the positive
    Colon Cancer killed my mom, her mom, and tried to kill me. F*ck it, I guess I have learned I am a lot tougher than I ever realized. It did not make me appreciate life more, I always did.
  • jen58
    jen58 Member Posts: 34
    #48
    christinecarl said:

    Can't see the positive
    Colon Cancer killed my mom, her mom, and tried to kill me. F*ck it, I guess I have learned I am a lot tougher than I ever realized. It did not make me appreciate life more, I always did.

    i guess i am the only one that can say something positive
    my husband has stage 3b genetic CC and our daughter may have the gene -- but i do have something very positive...

    long story short -- cancer/chemo and a particularly harsh winter here in KC has led us to buy our first house in beautiful New Mexico, where we have a wonderful mountain view in our front and back yards.

    without cancer, we would not have made this decision and would have felt very stuck. My husband feels the same way...we have a chance for a better life in NM to give ourselves and our daughter.

    i hate cancer, but it did bring us some good and for that i am thankful
  • pamysue
    pamysue Member Posts: 105
    #49
    Cancer gave me
    the balls to to the the president of the board of directors and tell him I was not going to tolerate my Executive Director's abusive behavior. Precancer I would have sucked it up for 3 more years until his retirement, even though I had been his personal whipping post for 8 years and my life was miserable pre-cancer. Fighting for my life has drawn a line of just what sh*t I won't eat.

    My son lost his job due to the economy... warehouse work. Going nowhere at 20. Now he is in nursing school and headed into a great career because of my chemo nurse who is male. We are close friends with him and his wife. My son heading towards a successful career would be something good that came from this.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #50
    Love
    Cancer reinforced for Bill and me what had hit us slap in the face in June of 2000, when he had a sudden cardiac arrest. Suddenly we knew very definitely that you never know how long you have in this world, so you better make the most of your time.

    When I was diagnosed with cancer just over 2 years ago, it was a reminder to hold onto what is precious in life, like family and friends, and to let go of hatred or whining or negative thoughts and feelings. Not that we don't backslide on all that constantly.

    I also had a chance to be the recipient of a lot of love and care from my family and friends. We had moved to NC about 5 years before my diagnosis, and I was still struggling a bit with finding my place here. When I got sick, I was completely showered with love from people at church and people at my grandsons' school. And family, too, of course.

    I always tell people that they might smile if they see me walking around (my favorite form of exercise). Since the cancer, I have that deep gratitude for still being here, and I usually walk with head tilted up, smelling the fresh air, enjoying the feeling of being ALIVE.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Aud
    Aud Member Posts: 479 Member
    #51
    Hmmm....
    ...mixed feelings and thoughts.
    Like many of us, I appreciate the small things in life, but I've always been that way. I sweat the small stuff less...sometimes.
    But I worry a lot sometimes. I am alone financially. I have a boyfriend and we're a good team but we don't live together and I carry my financial burden alone. I've realized that I have to save about $500 a month to cover out of pocket costs since insurance does not cover it all. (e.g. the upcoming PET scan will cost me $680 in deductible/copay, and if my surgeon wants to do a biopsy after that? And this is the "easy" part of care. What happens if there's recurrence and I can't work and no insurance? Whew!...it takes a lot of energy to be a worry wart : )
    On the flip side, I'm grateful to have a job/career in which I can currently afford my cancer. Gotta start a cancer fund. Forget vacation and Christmas. Can't go see my Granddaughters in Germany -- had to put that off.

    And I don't worry all the time. I've learned the one-day-at-a-time thing, believe it or not. I've learned that denial is a useful tool, at times, as long as it doesn't prevent you from getting the job done.

    Mortality has a different taste in my mouth. We all keep the Boogeyman in the closet or we'd go nuts but cancer forces us to face it head-on.

    Thanks, Phil, for the question, and the insight.
    Aud
  • lcarper2
    lcarper2 Member Posts: 635 Member
    #52
    Aud said:

    Hmmm....
    ...mixed feelings and thoughts.
    Like many of us, I appreciate the small things in life, but I've always been that way. I sweat the small stuff less...sometimes.
    But I worry a lot sometimes. I am alone financially. I have a boyfriend and we're a good team but we don't live together and I carry my financial burden alone. I've realized that I have to save about $500 a month to cover out of pocket costs since insurance does not cover it all. (e.g. the upcoming PET scan will cost me $680 in deductible/copay, and if my surgeon wants to do a biopsy after that? And this is the "easy" part of care. What happens if there's recurrence and I can't work and no insurance? Whew!...it takes a lot of energy to be a worry wart : )
    On the flip side, I'm grateful to have a job/career in which I can currently afford my cancer. Gotta start a cancer fund. Forget vacation and Christmas. Can't go see my Granddaughters in Germany -- had to put that off.

    And I don't worry all the time. I've learned the one-day-at-a-time thing, believe it or not. I've learned that denial is a useful tool, at times, as long as it doesn't prevent you from getting the job done.

    Mortality has a different taste in my mouth. We all keep the Boogeyman in the closet or we'd go nuts but cancer forces us to face it head-on.

    Thanks, Phil, for the question, and the insight.
    Aud

    cancer has changed me
    I have learned to be more understanding with stupid people , I spent over 30 yrs arresting them but now I just feel sorry for them and hope they don't cut me off when I am driving...
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #53
    Aud said:

    Hmmm....
    ...mixed feelings and thoughts.
    Like many of us, I appreciate the small things in life, but I've always been that way. I sweat the small stuff less...sometimes.
    But I worry a lot sometimes. I am alone financially. I have a boyfriend and we're a good team but we don't live together and I carry my financial burden alone. I've realized that I have to save about $500 a month to cover out of pocket costs since insurance does not cover it all. (e.g. the upcoming PET scan will cost me $680 in deductible/copay, and if my surgeon wants to do a biopsy after that? And this is the "easy" part of care. What happens if there's recurrence and I can't work and no insurance? Whew!...it takes a lot of energy to be a worry wart : )
    On the flip side, I'm grateful to have a job/career in which I can currently afford my cancer. Gotta start a cancer fund. Forget vacation and Christmas. Can't go see my Granddaughters in Germany -- had to put that off.

    And I don't worry all the time. I've learned the one-day-at-a-time thing, believe it or not. I've learned that denial is a useful tool, at times, as long as it doesn't prevent you from getting the job done.

    Mortality has a different taste in my mouth. We all keep the Boogeyman in the closet or we'd go nuts but cancer forces us to face it head-on.

    Thanks, Phil, for the question, and the insight.
    Aud

    Phil
    Holy crap! Judging by the amount of posts and strong feelings associated with them, in perfect Phil style, you have stirred up another big bowling pot of discussion stew. I like the perfect life post and especially like the man behind the the big giant spoon that stirs things up. You are not just Phil. You are THE Phil. Enough said.

    Eric
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    #54
    Sweet nothing
    Twelve years of chronic ill health. Several doctors telling me I'm gonna die. The fact that I can no longer do the things I enjoy in life. A pharmacy bill that would match the gnp of many small countries.
    If I catch that bird chirping outside my window he's toast. Heavy overcast suits my mood. I can't remember the lines of my wifes face because she left me three years ago because I was sick all the time.
    The only reason I'm still around is that I am an eternal optomist and one night a little green guy is going to pop out of his space ship armed with his interstellar anal probe and fix all my problems.
    Anytime now would be fine little green guy!
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #55
    jen58 said:

    i guess i am the only one that can say something positive
    my husband has stage 3b genetic CC and our daughter may have the gene -- but i do have something very positive...

    long story short -- cancer/chemo and a particularly harsh winter here in KC has led us to buy our first house in beautiful New Mexico, where we have a wonderful mountain view in our front and back yards.

    without cancer, we would not have made this decision and would have felt very stuck. My husband feels the same way...we have a chance for a better life in NM to give ourselves and our daughter.

    i hate cancer, but it did bring us some good and for that i am thankful

    Jen
    We are on the "short list" for finding the silver lining with the dark cloud for sure. Glad you can find some good out of your post-cancer life.
    -phil
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #56
    pamysue said:

    Cancer gave me
    the balls to to the the president of the board of directors and tell him I was not going to tolerate my Executive Director's abusive behavior. Precancer I would have sucked it up for 3 more years until his retirement, even though I had been his personal whipping post for 8 years and my life was miserable pre-cancer. Fighting for my life has drawn a line of just what sh*t I won't eat.

    My son lost his job due to the economy... warehouse work. Going nowhere at 20. Now he is in nursing school and headed into a great career because of my chemo nurse who is male. We are close friends with him and his wife. My son heading towards a successful career would be something good that came from this.

    PamySue
    I've grown three more balls (now I have six but that's another story!)
    I'm similar, I don't take crap from people who are full of crap. I get what I need to get done and I do it in a nice way 99% of the time. I have NO problem with calling people on their BS.

    That's great your son is getting into nursing. I have a buddy who took that path years ago, he's not a chemo nurse but still he's in the biz.

    Great post! I'm happy for you Pam.
    -p
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #57
    Aud said:

    Hmmm....
    ...mixed feelings and thoughts.
    Like many of us, I appreciate the small things in life, but I've always been that way. I sweat the small stuff less...sometimes.
    But I worry a lot sometimes. I am alone financially. I have a boyfriend and we're a good team but we don't live together and I carry my financial burden alone. I've realized that I have to save about $500 a month to cover out of pocket costs since insurance does not cover it all. (e.g. the upcoming PET scan will cost me $680 in deductible/copay, and if my surgeon wants to do a biopsy after that? And this is the "easy" part of care. What happens if there's recurrence and I can't work and no insurance? Whew!...it takes a lot of energy to be a worry wart : )
    On the flip side, I'm grateful to have a job/career in which I can currently afford my cancer. Gotta start a cancer fund. Forget vacation and Christmas. Can't go see my Granddaughters in Germany -- had to put that off.

    And I don't worry all the time. I've learned the one-day-at-a-time thing, believe it or not. I've learned that denial is a useful tool, at times, as long as it doesn't prevent you from getting the job done.

    Mortality has a different taste in my mouth. We all keep the Boogeyman in the closet or we'd go nuts but cancer forces us to face it head-on.

    Thanks, Phil, for the question, and the insight.
    Aud

    Aud
    I understand things aren't always easy, being in your shoes would be tougher. This is a big financial burden.
    I'm glad I've gave you food for thought.
    -p
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #58
    lcarper2 said:

    cancer has changed me
    I have learned to be more understanding with stupid people , I spent over 30 yrs arresting them but now I just feel sorry for them and hope they don't cut me off when I am driving...

    LouAnn
    GREAT comment!
    I'm the opposite I think, I have less tolerance for stupid people but I've gotten more experience dealing with them.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #59
    ron50 said:

    Sweet nothing
    Twelve years of chronic ill health. Several doctors telling me I'm gonna die. The fact that I can no longer do the things I enjoy in life. A pharmacy bill that would match the gnp of many small countries.
    If I catch that bird chirping outside my window he's toast. Heavy overcast suits my mood. I can't remember the lines of my wifes face because she left me three years ago because I was sick all the time.
    The only reason I'm still around is that I am an eternal optomist and one night a little green guy is going to pop out of his space ship armed with his interstellar anal probe and fix all my problems.
    Anytime now would be fine little green guy!

    Ron
    I know you've been dealing with this a very long time. It's not easy at all I'm sure. We all have our own point of reference and if I were in your shoes I may not be the same person I am now. You've given me plenty to think about over the many posts you've made and have been a great contributor on the board.

    I hope the little green man is a great shot with his interstellar anal probe.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #60
    EVERYONE:
    Thanks for all the comments. I'm glad people thought a little bit about this and I hope some positive things came out of hearing other people's stories. I found it VERY interesting.
    Best health to us all
  • SueRelays
    SueRelays Member Posts: 485
    #61
    Nana b said:

    I am free of a lot of BS
    I have learned what my husband has been preaching for 30 years, if it doesn't matter, forget it. Live to make you happy and in turn every one will be happy around you. Cancer scared the hell out of me, but I have done everything in my power to not let it take over my body. Thanks to Emily, I take better care of my body and thanks to the Anti Cancer book that Eric mentioned, I know that I am in the right direction. I have always been a doer, and never really rested just kept moving cleaning, ironing, organizing. Now, I move on the treadmill as I read a good book and listen to my IPOD. Work can kiss my >>>>>>.

    I am so happy with my life right now and most importantly....with Me.

    Hey Nana...can I ask you a
    Hey Nana...can I ask you a separate question...since you are juicing? I just bought one, with everyone recommendations on here:). Just curious, I know you should drink it as soon as you make it, but is it still good if you make some in the morning and take to work??? Although I'm not back at work yet, and love your comment regardint it...I may still have to return, and would hate not being able to drink my veggies!!!

Discussion Boards