its only been a week since husband past, seem like it forever

cunicorn
cunicorn Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Surviving Caregivers #1
My husband of 29 years past away on 10/22/2009 after a 5 month battle with esophageal cancer. We married when we was in our early 20's and you think that you will grow old togeather do the thing you plan. after 29 years and two children now age 28 and 24 and 2 grandchildrens that i would not be so lost and feel that my world is upside down or that i would be so lonely. i wonder how i will get through another day the next not any better then the last one.

i know that my husband is now at peace and went home to his savior, but i needed him so he was my friend throught it all i always knew that he would be there when i got home from work, or if i went to my family on vacation. and now our home is not a home. we knew that he was going to past, was hoping to just get through the holidays togeather. and now they are so far ahead but yet they will be here before we know and i am crying so much thinking i can not do this but i know that i have to do it. get through one day more and pray that it not as long as it was yesterday.

Comments

  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #2
    I am sorry
    for your loss. its been 6 months since my husband passed away from colon cancer. and i still cry everyday I understand about the emptyness at home i have to deal with that everyday and that is the hardest for me other then missing him every minute of the day. It does get some better as time goes on but for me it will be a long time. I take one step at a time and some are baby steps and thats ok. My grandkids help me alot even thou one is 6 and the other is eight They loved their grandpa so much they always talk about him and they to miss him alot.I don't know what will come in the future but i have to go on that is what my husband would of wanted. Please take care and know that you are not alone.

    take care

    michelle
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    Not Growing Old Together
    My first thought when my husband was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer was that we would not grow old together. We were married for 42 and he passed away Oct. 20, 2009. We had 6 years together after that first surgery. You'd think I would be prepared, and I was to an extent. But I'm not sure you are ever really prepared. I miss him. I can feel him near me, but I can't touch him. One of our grandchildren put that feeling in words only a 7 yr. old would. She said she talked to grandpa but she wanted to give him a hug and couldn't feel him. I talk to him a lot, too! That helps. I find comfort in the home we shared. We made some great memories together. It's not easy. My heart goes out to all of us here. I'm sure the holidays will be hard at times. Fay
  • charlietgilbert
    charlietgilbert Member Posts: 2
    #4
    My wife
    Sorry for your loss. I agree with you on our world being upside down, we use to joke about growing old together. My wife and I were together over 36 years and it's been very difficult. She was diagnosed with lung cancer Mother's Day 2008 and past away 12/28/2009. At least now she is no longer suffering. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me about her. Right now I just take it one day at a time, trying to stay busy so my thoughts don't wonder.

    Charlie
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #5
    charlietgilbert said:

    My wife
    Sorry for your loss. I agree with you on our world being upside down, we use to joke about growing old together. My wife and I were together over 36 years and it's been very difficult. She was diagnosed with lung cancer Mother's Day 2008 and past away 12/28/2009. At least now she is no longer suffering. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me about her. Right now I just take it one day at a time, trying to stay busy so my thoughts don't wonder.

    Charlie

    Hi Charlie
    Welcome to the club that none of us ever wanted to join. I am so sorry that you lost your wife. I too keep busy and spend time with family and friends. I'm starting to make some changes around the house. We have lived here since 1976, so the house holds lots of memories. I am keeping the memories but changing some of the furniture. Sometimes, its not just one day at a time, but smaller increments of time. Take care, Fay
  • mbennett8
    mbennett8 Member Posts: 1
    #6
    angelsbaby said:

    I am sorry
    for your loss. its been 6 months since my husband passed away from colon cancer. and i still cry everyday I understand about the emptyness at home i have to deal with that everyday and that is the hardest for me other then missing him every minute of the day. It does get some better as time goes on but for me it will be a long time. I take one step at a time and some are baby steps and thats ok. My grandkids help me alot even thou one is 6 and the other is eight They loved their grandpa so much they always talk about him and they to miss him alot.I don't know what will come in the future but i have to go on that is what my husband would of wanted. Please take care and know that you are not alone.

    take care

    michelle

    This is harder than I expected
    I saw your comment about crying every day. My wife died on November 1st after fighting Ovarian cance for 6 years, non stop Chemo. We were married 22 years. The past year was not good for her. I cared for her in our home which is where she passed away. I thought I might find relief in her suffering being over but I was wrong. I have cried every day since her death and was hoping I would see some good news regarding that. I'm not sure I can handle 6 months or more like this but will try to find inspiration in what you said. Take care.

    Mark
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #7
    mbennett8 said:

    This is harder than I expected
    I saw your comment about crying every day. My wife died on November 1st after fighting Ovarian cance for 6 years, non stop Chemo. We were married 22 years. The past year was not good for her. I cared for her in our home which is where she passed away. I thought I might find relief in her suffering being over but I was wrong. I have cried every day since her death and was hoping I would see some good news regarding that. I'm not sure I can handle 6 months or more like this but will try to find inspiration in what you said. Take care.

    Mark

    help for Mark
    Mark,

    While 1 November was not very long ago, consider going to your physician to ask for some help. Also, try to find a counselor or bereavement group to attend.

    Twenty-two years is a long time. Be gentle with yourself during this grieving period.

    Hugs.

Discussion Boards