How are your emotions since dx

coolvdub
coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi Everbody,
I guess this is just kind of an informal poll of sorts. I have found since my dx and surgery that I seem overly emotional. Is this normal? Has anybody else gone through this? I have always been the emotional type, but this seems to be more intense than what I am used to.

Don
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Comments

  • BrianJ
    BrianJ Member Posts: 1
    I was overwhelmed at first
    I was overwhelmed at first but now want to live my life day by day it gets me through. May God bleed you during this difficult time.
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    Hi Don,I am very emotional
    Hi Don,I am very emotional after my husband got diagnosed.I have my good days and bad days.Sometimes I feel pretty high,but sometimes I feel anxiety.I think all these feelings are normal because we are human.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    emotion
    After the surgery I started getting over emotional after a few months.Getting out,and going places seemed to help.Then I started getting depressed so I went to the dr.,and got some medication,and now I'm back to normal,as normal can be.
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    karguy said:

    emotion
    After the surgery I started getting over emotional after a few months.Getting out,and going places seemed to help.Then I started getting depressed so I went to the dr.,and got some medication,and now I'm back to normal,as normal can be.

    Yes.....
    ...I do cry sometimes because I think of the happy times, and the future, what's going to happen, and all that, I do get overly emotional at times when I'm alone, a couple times it was while just hugging my kids, and they wonder why the tears, and I just tell them the chemo just makes me leak everywhere, my eyes, my nose, etc...but I've always been sensitive, I have even been known to cry at kodak commercials.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
    Shayenne said:

    Yes.....
    ...I do cry sometimes because I think of the happy times, and the future, what's going to happen, and all that, I do get overly emotional at times when I'm alone, a couple times it was while just hugging my kids, and they wonder why the tears, and I just tell them the chemo just makes me leak everywhere, my eyes, my nose, etc...but I've always been sensitive, I have even been known to cry at kodak commercials.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    Great feedback, keep it
    Great feedback, keep it coming. I was starting to think I was weird or something. I to seem to be more prone to it during my alone time. I really think it helps to be around people.

    Don
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    coolvdub said:

    Great feedback, keep it
    Great feedback, keep it coming. I was starting to think I was weird or something. I to seem to be more prone to it during my alone time. I really think it helps to be around people.

    Don

    Nah....
    ...you're not weird Don, it's very normal, and sweet, it makes me feel better sometimes to let it out, I think it be weird if no one showed any kind of emotion really, it's better then keeping it all bottled up.

    And by the way, I notice you're new and would like to welcome you!! nice to meet you and glad to see you posting!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • GetBusyLivin
    GetBusyLivin Member Posts: 25
    roller coaster
    I have ups and downs since hubby's dx, I am much more emotional than I was before. Sometimes I feel really hopeful and surprisingly calm, but other times I feel waves of sadness and the tears well up. Hubby is on a similar roller coaster, he has mostly good days, but sometimes dark ones. Being around friends seems to help.
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    Let if all out.
    Hi Don,

    Welcome. I am new to the board also but have been fighting cancer since Oct 2007. Diagnosed Stage IIIc, 8/38 lymph nodes positive, resection and chemo. I'm so glad you're here from the beginning. You can ask or say anything here and someone will help you. I was extremely emotional for the 1st year. I couldn't help it. I started taking anti depressant either at the end of my chemo or after I finished. Can't remember. They seem to take the edge off and help with anxiety and fear. Never thought I'd have panic attacks but sometimes stress and weakness (physical) can do that. I think it's very important for you to be able to talk about your feelings and emotions. I know it helps me alot.

    What stage are you and are any lymph nodes involved. Do you know what kind of chemo treatment you will be having and for how long? You don't have to answer any of these questions if you don't want to. It just gives us an idea of what kind of treatment your facing.

    Will be praying for you your family,

    Debbie (gramma - added gramma as there is another Debbie on this forum
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    This isn't the best test
    to determine if you are "weird" or not, but you certainly area not alone if that helps ;-)
    I have become much more emotional than I every was. It really gets me if I start thinking about my kids and sometimes just if I'm talking to certain people about what's going on cancer-wise with me.

    I found that when my Dad has his stroke over 30 years ago, he too became more emotional.
    Maybe it's because of a brush with death, who knows but you're not alone.
    -phil
    I take it you have a cool WV? Is it an older Bug by any chance?
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Everything is A-OK
    No Don

    You are in the norm with your feelings, that's for sure!

    Dealing with Cancer brings all sorts of life's issues to the forefronts - you began to see how quickly things can change - what life and the people in it really mean to you - what is important - what is not.

    I know that most of my life before Cancer, I bottled most of my feelings up and stuffed them deep down inside.

    When I got Cancer a little over 5 years ago, my perspectives changed suddenly and over these years. Emotions began to leak out and then after awhile, I just let them come out...I usually do this when I'm alone, either driving to and from work...or home alone when the wife is working...she works some night shifts and I'm on day shift.

    My eyes just "leak" alot more than they used to...I'm open to the possibilities of how I feel now...sometimes I might hear music that strikes a certain tone, or I'm practicing my singing for Karaoke, and I think I might not be able to sing anymore, or I think of a past event of a good time, or something and you just get emotional.

    It's normal to me, I don't advertise it, but I'm not ashamed of it either...it's a sense of knowing that these things could come to an end - your awareness has been heightened and your emotions follow.

    Everything is A-OK with you, my friend. It's a long and winding road during some stretches of the journey.

    -Craig
  • zigswife
    zigswife Member Posts: 61
    My husband was recently
    My husband was recently diagnosed with stage IV mets to the liver. He has definitely been hit with some of those waves of what ifs that seem to hit him suddenly. A lot of them have to do with our three small children (a two and a half year old and 7 month old twins). I know for me, driving alone in the car is like a switch for "going there" and the next thing I know I'm too busy crying to remember where to turn! It seems to be getting better now that we've been in it for a couple of months but I still prefer to call people on the phone when I'm on the way home from work than to have it creep up on me. I also find the more I talk about it, the more it normalizes the whole experience, since at the beginning I couldn't tell someone in person about it without getting pretty emotional. All in all, I think being more emotional would be pretty standard with this sort of situation, especially at the beginning!
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
    Emotions
    Since my DX, surgeries and completing my treatment, I now cry at the drop of a hat. Can't explain it, it just happens
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    nudgie said:

    Emotions
    Since my DX, surgeries and completing my treatment, I now cry at the drop of a hat. Can't explain it, it just happens

    me too
    my husband even noticed it and was wondering if it is the meds doing the emotional rollercoaster to me.who knows but it seems like i cry over everything,Godbless....johnnybegood
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    A Roller-Coaster Ride
    Hi Don:

    Yes! Yes! Yes! From my experience, the emotional roller-coaster you (and probably Mrs. Coolvdub) are experiencing is normal.

    Since my husband was diagnosed three years ago, I find that small problems become insurmountable obstacles and worry insinuates itself into so many harmless situations. I've always been the family worrier but the volume of my worries has grown exponentially.

    My husband certainly has down days as well but I've been very comforted by the fact that he has what is overall a very positive attitude. (I want to be like him when I grow up!)

    So, I guess the message here is that cancer plays havoc with everyone's emotions-- however steely they may have been in their pre-cancer lives.

    Hatshepsut
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    To feel or not to feel?
    Before dx May 08 stage 4 rectal cancer, though I worked on it, I had more a tendency to not feel either too much joy or too much sadness. It may have looked as if I were even-keeled to others, but I knew better. During these last fifteen months, I have noticed the emotional thawing to the point that when I had my port out last week, I was downright giddy all evening. When I return to the daily chores of life, I notice that the feelings are more likely to get stuffed. Habits die hard. I prefer feeling the emotions, I feel more alive, however, I also had to learn to ride it out, and to not be make any major decisions or do anything that requires logic while riding the wave. Emotional feelings pass quickly if we don't add on to them with a favorite little story line. One of mine is "just wait, it will get worse.." I think that's a legacy from my grandmother, Frances, bless her dear heart.

    ramblin' Leslie
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    PS The meds had their own effect
    While I was doing chemo, especially during infusion and right after, I was an emotional beast. I hated the feelings that the drugs induced-tenseness, nervousness, edginess-I never learned to deal with that with very much grace. Thanks goodness for finishing that round (FOLFOX), and thanks to my close caregivers for mostly ignoring it.

    Leslie
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
    lesvanb said:

    PS The meds had their own effect
    While I was doing chemo, especially during infusion and right after, I was an emotional beast. I hated the feelings that the drugs induced-tenseness, nervousness, edginess-I never learned to deal with that with very much grace. Thanks goodness for finishing that round (FOLFOX), and thanks to my close caregivers for mostly ignoring it.

    Leslie

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc with 3 of 23 lymphnodes showing poitive. I start Chemo this Friday the 4th. I will be on FOLFOX for 6 months and going in for treatment every other week.

    Don
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
    coolvdub said:

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc with 3 of 23 lymphnodes showing poitive. I start Chemo this Friday the 4th. I will be on FOLFOX for 6 months and going in for treatment every other week.

    Don

    phillieg,
    I have had several

    phillieg,
    I have had several cool VW's over the years. My last one was a 86 GTI that I put way to much money in. The screen name is the one I use on the VWvortex a website I frequent. I figured may as well just have one cyber identity. I currently drive a 2002 VW Jetta that has had a few things done to it. I'm to lazy to work on the aircooled stuff anymore. But I wan't to build another Bug at some point. Thanks for the interest, do you share an interest in VW's?

    Don
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
    coolvdub said:

    phillieg,
    I have had several

    phillieg,
    I have had several cool VW's over the years. My last one was a 86 GTI that I put way to much money in. The screen name is the one I use on the VWvortex a website I frequent. I figured may as well just have one cyber identity. I currently drive a 2002 VW Jetta that has had a few things done to it. I'm to lazy to work on the aircooled stuff anymore. But I wan't to build another Bug at some point. Thanks for the interest, do you share an interest in VW's?

    Don

    Sundanceh,
    I think it is

    Sundanceh,

    I think it is normal the way I feel these days. You are spot on with it being a life altering event. My perspective has definetly shifted and I'm trying to become a better person. I used to bottle it up just like you, but at this point in life I feel that it's counter productive to long term happiness and sanity.

    The sunrises and sunsets are more spectacular to me and little things like watching a bird in a tree and sharing good times with family and friends have taken on a whole new role in the grand scheme of things. I try to live like there is no tomorow(within reason) because you never know when you will be told "hey you have cancer". Well we have all been through it now, and I'm sure I will be a changed man for life. And that's a good thing. So my take on cancer is , it has made some positive changes in me.

    Don
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    coolvdub said:

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc

    grammadebbie,
    I'm stage IIIc with 3 of 23 lymphnodes showing poitive. I start Chemo this Friday the 4th. I will be on FOLFOX for 6 months and going in for treatment every other week.

    Don

    Thanks
    Don,

    Sounds like we have the same chemo regimin. I will be praying for you. If you have any questions just ask. I completed my chemo a year ago and have been stable. Am having another 3 month CT scan and labs for Sept 14th appointment. It's still scarey everytime I'm tested. It seems to bring my emotions out again. I guess it's just the fact that everything can change again in a moment.
    I still have chemo brain so please excuse my inability to have thoughts that flow. You mentioned feeling like you were weird - whats wrong with that. It's like I tell my husband of 37 years - (I'm crazy) He would be bored if I were normal. Weve got to keep our sense of humor. The journey you are on will teach you alot about yoursef. Allow yourself to be real and discuss what you are feeling. There is no right or wrong in this battle - we just do the best we can. Please tell your wife to jump on if she has any questions. Lots of wonderful caring people here.

    So glad you found this forum before your chemo.

    In our thoughts and prayers.

    Debbie (gramma)