Friday Giggles - Battle fo the sexes

Hi Guys,

Some giggles and sizzles for your Friday! Have a great weekend, and Ladies, buy a dog. Read on :-)

Cheers,
Ying

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Advice for Women

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section

buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you

buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors

buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give a damn about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually,

buy a dog.

But on the other hand If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then .............

Buy a cat.

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)


Adam and Eve's First Time

After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, ''It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her.'' Adam answered, ''Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?''

The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, ''Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable.''

And the Lord replied, ''Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I'd like you to caress Eve.'' And Adam said, ''What is a 'caress'?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, ''Lord, that was even better than the kiss.''

And the Lord said, ''You've done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve.'' And Adam asked, ''What is 'make love', Lord?'' So, the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he re-appeared in two seconds. And Adam said, ''Lord, what is a 'headache'?''