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Question for the young *single* survivors.

Posts: 343
Joined: May 2003

In your humble opinions, is it easier (life, work, relationships/dating) for a single female cancer survivor or for a single male survivor. I'm just curious.

DIVA's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Apr 2005

I dont think its easier for any of us. I cant say it would be easier for a male or female. I mean I thought it was tough for me. But I have talked a lot to others male and female and I think its equally hard. My main issue was my self image right after my surgery and hospital stay. I mean the "you look great" from family and friends. I didnt believe it I mean I had nasty scars I was awardly skinnier by 30 pounds I think being single during my expirence was the best thing I could of done. I have a friend whose father was a 8 year cancer survivor of melenoma. His father just passed. He survived 2 dozen surgeries and 7 years past what doctors ever said he would. My friend had TC. I know it was just as rough on him as on young survivor. Each of our cases are unique but I think being a single male or female survivor are equally as hard though it is very different. I mean image is something that is very much pressured today. I think that part can be harder on women. but its also hard on men. I think its pretty equal.

Simbluej's picture
Posts: 13
Joined: Sep 2006

I can't say much for what it's like for male survivors, but being a single female going through this has not even been an issue for me. I'm sure its great to have the support of a spouse and I'm happy for people who have that but in all honesty I have been happy not having to worry about putting yet another person through this hardship.

I agree that I think the big issue is self-image as a female. I'm 25 years old with stage III rectal cancer. Back when I had my surgery to remove most of my rectum there was the possibility of ending up with a colostomy bag. I was so worried I would never be able to date again being forever attached to this bag of poop. It sounds shallow in the grand scheme of things, but fortunately for me I did not get one.

I guess there are a lot of different issues for every single person to deal with but I am just as happy being single now as I was before the cancer story

Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2011


Posts: 64
Joined: Mar 2006

I am going to reply to this not knowing if anyone will check it out since it was posted a month ago. I think that being a woman with cancer can post more side effects than what a man may have, of course that depends on the type of cancer. For instance, I have had to go through radiation which had jumped me into menapause at the ripe ole age of 28. So not only do I have cancer but now my reproductive organs are fried, no longer functioning and I am going through the "change of life" in my 20's. I saw the reply before mine, I also have colorectal cancer, stage IV, and had surgery in July, the doctor was not able to save the muscle so I do have a permanent colostomy bag. Dealing with body image issues has been huge for me since I have always been lucky enough to wear what I wanted and even wear bikinis. Having this change in my body has been huge. I am in a relationship but if we ever broke up I dont think I could ever enter the dating world again because of the colostomy, I know that may sound stupid but I really feel that I dont know how I could ever explain and tell that to someone. I am happy for now and I am getting use to the changes in my life and body. Life is about change and we can either roll with it or try to hide from it but things WILL change.

Posts: 1560
Joined: May 2006

Great question! I love reading the replies.

Take care everyone! I am here and reading. :-)


randy_winn's picture
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2007

I don't know for females, but for males it depends on one thing, confidence.

It isn't easy especially if you have lots of scars, but if you take charge remeber that the cancer makes you interesting and heroic.

The best thing that I learned to do is use the cancer to my advantage, always.

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2008

I have no idea how it is for men going through cancer and dealing with the side affects but as a 25-year old female, I can tell you it has been a struggle. While I was getting chemo, I gained about 30 pounds, lost my hair, and my skin was discolored. So, as you can imagine, I did not have a lot of confidence. But it does get better. I have been finished with chemo and radation for about 5 months and am beginning to feel like a human being again. So, everyday it gets better, and I know I'll get there.

srisko's picture
Posts: 33
Joined: Apr 2008

I'm a 23 year old female, 18 year leukemia survivor and I have never had been on a date or had boyfriend or anything like that. I'm very open about my cancer experieces so I think that freaks men out I guess but in my opinion female survivors do have it harder because of the pressures society puts on us. Sorry, I'm a sociology major and I tend to notice these things.

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2010

We all seem to read and write a bit to much between pills and I don't know about you all but I'm lonelier by the day. I'm ready to cross over for evidently my work here is done. I worked harder and longer than anybody I've ever known, all for nothing, the story of my life. Wasted time!

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