the hardest decision

Back in April my mom, age only 47, was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer. It was a common story, where her doctor treated her for irritable bowel for months, despite ultrasounds, even told her a growth on her ovary was only a cyst months before without bothering to do a CA-125.

She's been through a lot, complete hysterectomy, my mother getting fluid drained because her stomach fills up as if she is 9 months pregnant, cancer immediately attacking the small wound where they put the needle in. It seems her form of cancer is so strong.

Since May, the doctor has changed her chemotherapy multiple times. Just this past Friday, he told us that he cannot cure her. He tells us he basically was sure of that after the first chemos did not improve her to the extent needed, but he did not tell her because my mom suffers from manic depression and he was afraid she would give up right away. He says people that started being treated around the time she did were now cancer free.

And this is the hardest part yet now. She is being asked to make a decision. Does she want to stop the chemo, and allow the cancer to take over and pass away within a month or two, or, does she want to continue chemo which may give her 6-12 months.

The doctor is telling us that if he gives her smaller doses on a weekly basis, she may not get as nauseated as she does. But he's telling us that no matter what, she is going to die. She, we, do not know how to make this choice.

Have any of you ever been faced with a decision like this? Or known someone who was faced with this decision? We want to only consider her happiness at this point while she is still here, and we want her to suffer as little as possible. Has anyone's doctor ever told them this and suddenly if they continued chemo, months later it worked? Any responses are greatly appreciated.