Need Some Advice and Support

I don't know that I can help, but I can empathize. My father was diagnosed in December, after several previous visits to the doctor and the emergency room, during which he was told they couldn't find anything wrong. His diagnosis in December was for Stage 4B Pancreatic Cancer, no option to operate and 6-12 months to live. After looking at all the symptoms, my father has all of them, except the yellowish skin.

He did try chemo and although his cancer in the pancreas did not increase, the spot on his lung grew quite a bit so my parents have decided not to continue the chemotherapy.

But still, the doctor said 6-12 months even though we are now 5 months along. My father cannot digest well and is often in pain, or vomiting. He is taking morphine for the pain but all that does is make him sleepy.

He has also lost weight - 30 pounds in the last eight months but now it is accelerating and he is losing a couple pounds a week because of course eating hurts.

I always thought how terrible it would be for me to lose a parent. But now I realize that the terrible thing is imagining what it is like for my father to have to sit in a doctor's office, hearing a death sentence. We all know we are going to die, but to hear someone tell you is another thing altogether.

My heart is with you and I feel your pain. For now, I focus on spending time with my father and making sure he knows how much I love him.

I can relate except that the 54 year old man is my husband and not my father. My husband is 15 years older than me and my absolute hero. He was diagnosed with stage 4 metastisized pancreatic cancer. He has received 8 treatments of Gemzar and is getting ready to have a CT scan next week. He has lost a lot of weight and doesn't eat real well. He is on about 130 mg. of Oxycotin and Oxycodone each day. So.... I can relate. The really sad part? We have a 12 year old.

TopsailBeach said:

I can relate except that the 54 year old man is my husband and not my father. My husband is 15 years older than me and my absolute hero. He was diagnosed with stage 4 metastisized pancreatic cancer. He has received 8 treatments of Gemzar and is getting ready to have a CT scan next week. He has lost a lot of weight and doesn't eat real well. He is on about 130 mg. of Oxycotin and Oxycodone each day. So.... I can relate. The really sad part? We have a 12 year old.

My mother was diagnosed on March 4, 2004 and passed away last week on Jult 21, 2004. The pancreatic cancer made her jaundiced and that is what alerted us to get a CT scan. The diagnosis came back and we did the plastic stent. She was not able to eat and would throw up her food. We finally had to do the metal stent and we got Hospice in and me and my sister cared for her 24/7. She was able to eat soup and keep it down, slept all the time. The last two weeks it turned on us and we had the morphine pump for the pain and the asites fluid building in her abdomen and body. She passed in her sleep due to the morphine putting her in a deep sleep / coma. She fought it bravely and never gave up til the last three days. She was an inspiration to us and the spiritual presence was felt at all times. Spend quality and spiritual time and pray. We tried three treatments of the radiation and chemo until an honest Doctor told us to take her home and supply comfort. This cancer is a monster and is fast acting. Mother's size of the tumour was 4x2 when found on the CT scan. The cancer spread to the liver and the interior lining and other parts of the body. Fight this monster and research all aspects and be there for him. I strongly recommend Hospice if the cancer progresses and you are able to care for him at home. I will put you in prayer. My heart is with you.