mydad

positive · February 2004

my dad has stage IIA non-bulky - nod. sclerosis, He is going to have his 3rd chemo treatment, he has to go the full six months of chemo, I thought with early stage fewer cycles were prescribed. My dad is age 70 and he was never sick a day in his life, he said he never felt so good in his life, he's a very positive person and he is does not look or act his age. My dad is very active, even after his chemo treatments, he continues to go out, he hasn't had any nausea, but he is starting to get the fatigue, but seems to be tolerating it,( he lost his hair) did not take that well, considering he had a full head of hair. we still anticipate everytime he has a treatment how he's going to feel, this is going to be an emotional rollercoaster. Can anoyone send me some encouraging words. His oncologist gave him a very good prognosis. Please refrain from really bad news, my sisters and I have aged 5 years since we found out about my dads disease.

AlloMan · February 2004

OK, no bad news...your father was diagnosed at a relatively early stage (I was at IVB when first diagnosed) and if you look at the statistics, there are few cancers more "curable" than early stage Hodgkin's. Your Dad's feeling well, his Doc gives him a good prognosis, I don't think you can ask for much more than that. Chemo (and radiation, if he'll have that) can be a real test, but it's certainly do-able. A diagnosis of cancer is not necessarily a death sentence.

Neither your Dad or you or your sisters can dwell on the "what if's". Just stay positive and take one day at a time. Whether your Dad does well or not, the lesson we have to learn from dealing with cancer is that time is too precious to be wasted, because we don't know how much we have.

It never ceases to amaze me the importance some people put in hair. I remember being sick from chemo, laying on the sofa, bald, watching TV when an ad for a herbal supplement for re-growing hair came on. The tag line was, don't let baldness ruin your life. If baldness is ruining someone's life, the problem is in their head, not on it. But I digress...

kavnan · February 2004

I don't think there is anything more difficult than to hear that your loved one has cancer. When it is someone we love we feel so helpless. I know what you and your sister are feeling. My son was diagnosed in October 2002 with Stage II HD at the age of 18. He received six months of chemo. It will be one year next month since his last treatment.
I was told several times during his treatment by well meaning friends that God gives us no more than we can handle. My reply was to tell God that I'm maxed because I can take no more. Well, they were right, God does not give us what we can't handle. Fortunately, our loved ones seem to handle having cancer better than we handle them having it. My son gave me great strength and made me so very proud.

Hang in there. It is an emotionally roller coaster. One that you would love to get off of, but this is now your life and you will grow to appreciate that life more and more each day. Your Dad will more than likely be very fine. I was told that "If you have to have cancer, this is the one to have". It is very curable.

Thank God for this web site. I'm so grateful to have found other people who understand because they are in the same situation. God bless you and your family.

jak0474 · February 2004

Hi there. I am 29 and was diagnosed with exactly the same condition as your father when I was 26. I too was very healthy and had a positive attitude and that is definitely going to help your father through the treatment. The chemo sucks, noone will say it doesn't but some rounds are better than others and truthfully you get through it because you know that this kind of cancer is really treatable so if you just do the 12 rounds of chemo you should be ok. By the first scan (i think after 4 or five treatments) the cancer was gone...best news in the world and I hope it is the same for your father (but don't worry if it isn't completely gone). But you still have to do the full 12 doses. I agree with one of the other responses that the patient tends to deal with it better than their loved ones. I know I felt so bad about what I was doing to my family and was more worried about them than myself, which is stressful. So it would be my advice that while you should definitely be open about how you are feeling, try not to project your fears onto him and remain positive. It is great that you have your sister to lean on. I know it is scary, but it really is true that this one is curable. Your father should be fine. Good luck, and hang in there.

hinkley · February 2004

I know exactly what you and your sisters are going through. My wife is 30 years old and was diagnosed with HD in September. Like your dad, she was always healthy and is a very positive person. She has had 8 treatments out of 12 and we are waiting for the results of scans she just had done to determine if everything is clear. It is an emotional roller coaster, but the positive outlook your dad has is going to help him and everyone around him get through it. Don't worry too much about how he is going to feel after each treatment - just enjoy when he is feeling well. My wife has had weeks during the treatment where she has felt fine and is still able to work and do a lot of the things we have always done. If you are questioning why he is receiving 6 months of chemo, you should ask his oncologist. I'm sure he/she has a rationale for it and it will help to ease your mind. Hang in there!

sherra · February 2004

Heres some promising news-I was diagosed with HD IIA (like your dad) and after 6 months of ABVD and 18 shots of radiation I'm in remission. Chemo never did get as bad as I anticipated, my body handled it well and I never got really sick plus the doc had medication to counter-act the "not so nice" side effects. With your dad's upbeat attitude and your family's support, he'll probably beat this no problem.

suz64 · February 2004

I was diagnosed with the very same. I am a 38 year old mom and have three children; 8, 7, and 5. I spent the very first day crying and wailing after I was told. Then I told myself that I have work to do and my primary job was to get better. I thought I was basically healthy as well, but what I realized was that I needed to take even better care of myself.

Good for your dad that he is still doing the things he enjoys. As one person told me, cancer is such a small part of who he is and that he is really more than his disease.

People complimented me on my positive attitude during this time and I told them that I didn't think it is my positiveness that is getting me through. I feel that I am very realistic. I have good days and bad days. And when I have bad days I ask myself what it is I needed to help me through that time.

For example, once I realized I had to have chemo on my birthday I was very sad. I know it happens to lots of people, but it bothered me. So what did I do? I decided that I needed to shave off what was left of my hair (it looked like a wayward tumbleweed on the top of my head surrounded by male pattern baldness, not very attractive). The day of my appointment I went in with a washable marker and asked all of the staff to sign my head in celebration of my birthday. They took pictures and one person came in wanting to get in on it after she heard everyone else was signing my head! It made me feel special and all the other patients got a kick out of it.

So, do what you need to do to get through it. And if he is like me he may not know what he needs, so surprise him. Chemo has a way of screwing up the brain cells. Bring him dinner, books, movies or just call him up or write him a letter telling him everything you have always wanted to say and just never had the chance to do so.

It is important for everyone to take care of themselves during this time. That means your dad as well as you and your siblings. It is still okay to laugh as well as cry.

And the hair will grow back. I had long thick hair before and I am curious how it will turn out. I am currently caught between my fuzzy peach look and something resembling a chia pet.

Good luck and my thoughts and good wishes are with you and your family.

mydad

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