Weight, Exercise, and Gynecological Cancers

Hi, Ladies!

i've been doing so much research in the last year and have finally decided I would/should throw something out there for y'all to think about. My main point is that I'm more than a little irritated that I had to discover these things by myself!

So....I'm 66 now. I'm tall and large-boned. I'm the opposite of a petite woman! My entire life I've watched what I eat and have vacillated between my ideal weight and 20 or 30 lbs on either side of it! No Doctor Ever has told me that I should lose weight! No Doctor of any kind has Ever said, "You know, you really should lose a few pounds." I never have had high cholesterol, heart disease, or diabetes....so no co-morbidities. Many times when in the company of friends or family and I'm refusing to eat this or that, they ask, " Are you on a diet??" I always laugh and reply, "Are you kidding? I've been on a diet my entire life!!" I've always been very active -- a regular walker, skiing (downhill & on water), kayaking, etc.

Now, in all my reasearch I have discovered that too much fat can create too much estrogen, which can contribute to cancer...specifically gynecological cancers! Would it have killed someone to tell me that? Seriously, a gynecolorist couldn't have said, "You know you're probably carrying an extra twenty pounds, and even though you look great and that's not interfering with your ability to do any activities you want to do, it could contribute to your eventual potential to develop cancer."

And my preferred way to exercise is walking. There's no telling how many thousands of miles I've walked in 60+ years! So, now that I'm essentidally done with my cancer treatment, I've been working hard to get back to my normal walking routine - several miles a day and trying to get back to an hour each day, on at least five days a week, I really don't enjoy it! Especially now, and in the heat of summer, I tend to fuss and cuss while doing it! But I've got a list in my head of all the good things that it does for me! I repeat those things in my mind to offer myself encouragement! The newest addition to my list was, "And all the above things should collectively reduce my chances of recurrence."

Yesterday I thought I'd Google it..."exercise prevents cancer recurrence." A huge list of articles popped up speaking to the topic! And they ALL said the same thing. The research results ALL reported that regular aerobic exercise, specifically 150 to 300 minutes a week, can reduce the risk of recurrence (of a whole list of cancers) by 20-40%!! That's huge!!! The list of cancers with great benefits of reduced risk of recurrence included breast, colon, and gynecological - specifically endometrial.

Even the most recent paperwork from my oncologist's office warns of the things I should avoid....tobacco, alcohol, obesity, etc. Sure..that makes sense! But nowhere did anyone encourage exercise! Right.... I know we all know the health benefits of exercise....but I think telling me that my chances of recurrence could be greatly reduced by regular exercise is some pretty important information!! 

So...that's what I know! I hope that it might help those of you struggling like me to regain strength after treatment and prevent yourselves from being in a chemo treatment room again!! I know it's given me renewed resolve!

Love & prayers to all!

?, Alicia

 

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Comments

  • thatblondegirl
    thatblondegirl Member Posts: 381 Member
    edited June 2021 #2
    And…..

    No Doctor Ever of any kind warned me that I might be more likely to develop a gynecological cancer because I hadn't had children! Most of you know that's one of the first things on the list of factors that can contribute to GYN cancers! So, the fact that one never has a pregnancy, never breast feeds, and has no need to take a birth control pill...hence, over a period of 25-30 years ovulates more times... is at greater risk! In my opinion, it sure feels like a double whammy! You can never have children AND this means your cancer risks are higher!

    And it would have been nice if someone would have said, "These are risk factors. Therefore, we should keep a closer eye on your gynecological health!" I never had any problems or pain and got regular Pap smears. I was doing my part!

    I know that "ship has sailed" for those of us here, but such information could help daughters & granddaughters!

    ?, A

  • MAbound
    MAbound Member Posts: 1,168 Member
    Same Gripe

    The lack of education about uterine cancer had me mad after the fact, too. I think part of the problem is the lack of a screening test for it like there is for breast and cervical cancer. Breast and cervical cancer prevention seems to get all of the attention.

    A while back someone shared an article about a possible tampon-like screening test for uterine cancer coming down the pike. It would be interesting to know if any progress has been made on that, but I don't know.

    Don't beat yourself up about the shoulda, woulda, coulda. All you can do is what you are doing now as you go forward. Don't obsess about the minutes and/or miles and perhaps count in the activities you actually enjoy doing as part of your regime. You've survived...have some fun!

  • thatblondegirl
    thatblondegirl Member Posts: 381 Member
    Thx, MAbiund!

    I'm trying! And the new exercising info gives me a great incentive to keep working at it!! 
    The main message of all those articles was KEEP MOVING! So I will!

    ❌⭕️, A

     

  • RainbowRita
    RainbowRita Member Posts: 72 Member
    So true!

    Although I went through a lengthy period where I wasn't going to a doctor due to insurance issues, when I did finally see a doctor, she only suggested I lose weight, but never said WHY! She was very thin herself, so what she said at the time only embarrassed me as I felt it was more of a apperance issue rather a health concern. I get the whole “fat shaming” thing, but doctors need to be exempt from that because they KNOW there are real health issues related to obesity. If she had said that carrying extra weight greatly increases the changes that I will get Type II diabetes and endometrial cancer, I would hope that I would have had enough sense to do something about it.  Back in 2017, I was diagnosed with diabetes, but even then my doctor never stressed how important it was to lose weight and that it would lower risks factors even at that late date. I went to the diabetes education classes and even the dietician ****-footed around the fact that just losing weight would lessen our need for insulin. Health care workers shouldn’t be worried about hurting people’s feelings, but should give us the info we need to make wise lifestyle choices.

     It is too easy for doctors to just put their obese newly diagnosed diabetes patients on drugs and insulin. Speaking of insulin, that made it even harder to lose weight. It wasn't until I got a continuous glucose monitor two years later that I managed to get in control of things. I could see in real time just how different foods effected my glucose levels. I finally lost enough weight to get off of insulin about a year ago and now I just really try to watch carb consumption and avoid a lot of processed foods. I've lost 50+ pounds since I got my CGM, a good thing, but it sure would have been a lot more useful if I had done that many years ago. I won’t say “too little, too late”, because it was still a good thing to do, but sure as heck would have done me more good if I had done that decades ago.

    I have significant regrets and guilt about not doing more sooner, especially after an aunt of mine asked if I waited to long to go to the doctor when I told her what stage cancer I had. Even though I love to read and had access to the internet for many years, did I ever think to research the risk factors for various diseases due to obesity? Nope, I wasn’t totally ignorant, I knew being obese increased chances of heart disease & diabetes, but cancer was never on my radar even though my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer (fortunately for her, caught early and hysterectomy was her only treatment for a cure) did I ever check out what I could do to prevent getting uterine cancer myself? Nope, buried my head in the sand about that too. 

    Do you ever wish that you could go back in time with the person you are now and make different life choices? I sure do. I have been on the fence about whether I should put out a PSA of sorts saying something about obesity increasing your risk for endometrial cancer on Facebook in the hopes that someone could learn from my mistakes. There are so many women in the US who don’t know that carrying excess fat puts them at higher risk for endometrial cancer, so wonder if I should say something. Not too many people that are my Facebook “Friends” know about my cancer diagnosis, so not sure if I want to expose myself in that way. But if it gets even one woman to think that maybe she should make some changes in her lifestyle, maybe it would be worth it.

     

    I will try MAbound, to follow your advice in regards to the "shoulda, woulda, couldas" :-)

  • Kathy G.
    Kathy G. Member Posts: 244 Member
    Alicia it is good you put

    Alicia it is good you put this out there!

    I assumed people knew that obesity and smoking were two of the highest risk factors for most cancers. In the case of uterine cancer too much estrogen is definitely an issue as your research shows.

    My regular gynecologist warned me several years before my diagnosis I was at an increased risk because of my weight, but I don't recall him discussing how estrogen played a part in the risk. 

    I wasn't able to lose the weight until 3 years after my surgery and only thru the help of weight loss surgery.

    I have always found that doctors and even the various cancer societies tend to be very general in discussing risk factors. I'm sure there is reasoning behind that, but it frustrates me given any serious health problem!

    Like others on here have said in reference to their cancer...they have learned more on here about their cancer then from any other source. Kinda sad bc no one is going to randomly  search out message boards for preventative info....

  • thatblondegirl
    thatblondegirl Member Posts: 381 Member
    edited June 2021 #7
    Thx y’all!

    I was just thinking that yes..,we've always been told that obesity contributes to some cancers, but you're right! They're never very specific and they certainly don't explain about estrogen's role in it! And since I've never been obese, I didn't worry about it! I just wish someone would have mentioned that even an extra twenty pounds was probably too much!

    And I wanted to get it out there about the exercise helping to prevent recurrence! ALL of us here can use all the help we can get to prevent that! Here I am...taking this powerful drug (upon my docto's recommendation!) to prevent recurrence...and yet my own research led me to that valuable information!!

    ?, Alicia

     

  • Maxster
    Maxster Member Posts: 102 Member
    edited June 2021 #8
    Exercise and Fiber

    I am fortunate to have a son-in-law who is a physician researcher at Memorial Sloan Kettering.  He knew and told me clearly that exercise was important to my immune system and would help me fight the cancer.  I have always done some exercise and was going to the gym at least 5 times a week.  But as luck would have it I still got serous cancer.  I exercised throughout my chemo and radiation and am still at it.  I exercised in front of videos during the worst of Covid and have resumed my classes at the Y.  I tell everyone how important exercise is to the immune system.  I also learned through my son-in-law that some research at MD Anderson showed the benefits of 30 grams of fiber per day for both cancer patients and for prevention.  That is harder to do but I try to get that in everyday.  I was surprised to learn from a dietician that she knew of the 30 grams for women and recommended it in a presentation she did for cancer survivors.  My regular doctors were not as enthused about exercise and fiber but I kept it up anyway.  They thought it was a good idea but really did not recommend it.  Serous cancer is lousy and evidently weight is not necessarily a risk factor.  But I know it is for endometrial cancer. So I am just with all of you that exercise and diet are key factors to preventing recurrence.  I know there is no guarantee but I like knowing there is something I can do.

  • Dak82
    Dak82 Member Posts: 109 Member
    edited June 2021 #9
    Exercise as treatment

    Interesting you should bring this up Alicia. At my first visit with my gyn oncologist she told me "there's no reason you should have this cancer; you don't match any of the textbooks". I train for and do triathlons, eat right, my weight hasn't varied much for 40 years except when I was pregnant. There is no reason for anyone to get cancer. You can do all the right things and it still happens. What's interesting is to discover what the trigger event was that caused those cancer cells to start growing. we all have cancer cells in us but we don't all get cancer--it's so individual. Were you exposed to something in the environment? Did you carry a beeline mutation that was triggered?

    Many people won't change their life long habits until faced with a life altering event like a heart attack or cancer. If all hams only did what was good for them we could eliminate most of the diseases on earth. Don't beat yourself up. Love who you are.

    Cheers,

    Deb

  • BluebirdOne
    BluebirdOne Member Posts: 654 Member
    These affects are lifelong and cumulative.

    Those of us who were dx at an older age, I was 67, Type 2 EC, have a life long history. I was born in 1950. There are photos of my mother with a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other when pregnant with me. Both my parents smoked, at home, in cars with the windows closed. We used to chase after the DDT trucks with our bicycles, breathing in that horrible pesticide. There was asbestos everywhere, schools, home, churches. Lead paint was the norm. You get the picture. We are the sum of our lives exposed to cancer causing substances. Now we know how dangerous it is to be overweight and not exercise. I really hate this Calvinistic attitude that we deserve our cancers (or any illness) as a punishment for our choices in life, whether voluntary or involuntary. Many do everything right in life and still get cancer, many who have poorer lifestyles do not. I have one doctor who is very wise, he says that we can't change the past so look forward to doing what you can to be more healthy, vs. a few of the fat shamers I have had. I have had terrible osteoarthritis since I was in my 40's, with 5 surgeries on my hands alone, bad back, one knee, and one ankle. When I complained that I could not exercise as much as I wanted to because of the pain, he said take your inspiration from the para-Olympians, work around your issues, if they can find a way, so can you. No shaming, just sound common sense advice. As we go through treatment and recovery, we can all find a way to be more healthy as we are able to physically, and stop blaming ourselves for past choices or circumstances. The one thing I also do is try to educate everyone I know (who express interest) about the lack of screening tests for EC, that many of us are not taken seriously by our gynecologists, that obesity, lack of exercies contributes, that to never ignore bleeding. Few if any people come to this group before they were dx so the knowledge here is not getting out to the general public. Our doctors also do not do enough to educate us, but then caution us against using Dr. Google. As the ParaOlympic Games are coming in August, I will take my inspiration to keep exercising from them. 

    Denise 

  • els19
    els19 Member Posts: 106 Member
    edited June 2021 #11
    Thanks, Denise

    Thanks Denise! You put it all in perspective. Who knows what any of us were exposed to at our age. I didn't fit the model for UPSC at all. I once read a book written by an oncologist who said that except for a couple of cancers he really felt it was just bad luck. So many, like you said, did everything right and still got cancer. Others did everything wrong and didn't. So yes, we know we need to eat healthy and exercise. But so does everyone else. Many swear by supplements but some research and studies show that many can be counter productive. And it's why I always check everything with my doctor. We all want to do all we can to beat this disease and live as long as possible. But I don't think there's any magic answer. I don't think it's all in our control. I've always hated when someone tells me I'll be fine because I always have such a positive attitude. So, if I have a bad day and I'm depressed and ate a big bowl of ice cream and didn't go for a walk or pray that day, did I just lessen my survival chances? Of course, when I'm feeling positive I'm more likely to exercise and eat healthy. But I refuse to blame myself for my disease. Maybe it was something I was exposed to when I was five or maybe it's just bad luck. I think all any of us can do is the best we can. I'm currently reading a book, Cancer is Funny, written by a young Methodist minister about his own journey with cancer. It's not really religious and he does swear a lot, but he brings up a lot of these ideas. It's also funny. So, I advise adding laughter to the healthy eating and exercise. But don't stress if you don't, some days we just hang on.

  • RainbowRita
    RainbowRita Member Posts: 72 Member
    Thanks for sharing

    Thanks Denise for your comments...especially this:

    " I really hate this Calvinistic attitude that we deserve our cancers (or any illness) as a punishment for our choices in life, whether voluntary or involuntary. Many do everything right in life and still get cancer, many who have poorer lifestyles do not." 

    I have a friend who is the same age as me, is 50+ lbs. overweight, eats a ton of sugar & a poor diet generally speaking. She also smokes but is relatively healthy. No diabetes or cancer for her. So that is certainly true that some people can beat the odds whereas others won't. 

    And els19, I have felt like this also. 

    "I've always hated when someone tells me I'll be fine because I always have such a positive attitude. So, if I have a bad day and I'm depressed and ate a big bowl of ice cream and didn't go for a walk or pray that day, did I just lessen my survival chances? Of course, when I'm feeling positive I'm more likely to exercise and eat healthy. But I refuse to blame myself for my disease. Maybe it was something I was exposed to when I was five or maybe it's just bad luck. I think all any of us can do is the best we can."

    One friend...and I know she means well told me to "not talk like that" when I mentioned 5 year survival rates not long after sharing my dianosis with her. She said I have be more positive. I agree that having a positive attitude is important, but we also need to come to grips with what things might be like us going foward.  A person can't always be upbeat and positive when you don't feel well. And aren't we allowed to have a "pity party" once in awhile? This whole "cancer stuff' is a lot to deal with and it gets overwhelming at times. I know she means well, but hearing her say that to me just felt to me like she didn't want to hear it. That's why it has been so helpful to me to come here and hear what you all have to say. Your insights and advice are invaluable. So thanks again to all of you for sharing. :-)

  • els19
    els19 Member Posts: 106 Member
    edited June 2021 #13

    Thanks for sharing

    Thanks Denise for your comments...especially this:

    " I really hate this Calvinistic attitude that we deserve our cancers (or any illness) as a punishment for our choices in life, whether voluntary or involuntary. Many do everything right in life and still get cancer, many who have poorer lifestyles do not." 

    I have a friend who is the same age as me, is 50+ lbs. overweight, eats a ton of sugar & a poor diet generally speaking. She also smokes but is relatively healthy. No diabetes or cancer for her. So that is certainly true that some people can beat the odds whereas others won't. 

    And els19, I have felt like this also. 

    "I've always hated when someone tells me I'll be fine because I always have such a positive attitude. So, if I have a bad day and I'm depressed and ate a big bowl of ice cream and didn't go for a walk or pray that day, did I just lessen my survival chances? Of course, when I'm feeling positive I'm more likely to exercise and eat healthy. But I refuse to blame myself for my disease. Maybe it was something I was exposed to when I was five or maybe it's just bad luck. I think all any of us can do is the best we can."

    One friend...and I know she means well told me to "not talk like that" when I mentioned 5 year survival rates not long after sharing my dianosis with her. She said I have be more positive. I agree that having a positive attitude is important, but we also need to come to grips with what things might be like us going foward.  A person can't always be upbeat and positive when you don't feel well. And aren't we allowed to have a "pity party" once in awhile? This whole "cancer stuff' is a lot to deal with and it gets overwhelming at times. I know she means well, but hearing her say that to me just felt to me like she didn't want to hear it. That's why it has been so helpful to me to come here and hear what you all have to say. Your insights and advice are invaluable. So thanks again to all of you for sharing. :-)

    Comments

    I once had a friend tell me that no one wanted to hear me talk about cancer. It just might have been the most honest comment I received. I'm in a recurrence  and she made that comment with my first go round. Unfortunately that same friend is now in her own cancer battle and we now have long discussions. I've learned that most people just can't handle cancer. It's just too scary for them. The same family and friends who disappeared or distanced themselves the first time, have retreated again. Others are amazingly supportive. But most, unless they've been through a serious illness themselves, don't really understand. I think if you polled cancer patients most would say they hate those positive attitude comments. We realize we can't really control this illness. Any sane person has down days when battling a serious illness. Last time I read a book, What Not To Say To A Person With Cancer. I had heard every comment. And I realized I had said some comments myself. People mean well but the word cancer is just too scary.

  • BluebirdOne
    BluebirdOne Member Posts: 654 Member
    edited June 2021 #14

    Thanks for sharing

    Thanks Denise for your comments...especially this:

    " I really hate this Calvinistic attitude that we deserve our cancers (or any illness) as a punishment for our choices in life, whether voluntary or involuntary. Many do everything right in life and still get cancer, many who have poorer lifestyles do not." 

    I have a friend who is the same age as me, is 50+ lbs. overweight, eats a ton of sugar & a poor diet generally speaking. She also smokes but is relatively healthy. No diabetes or cancer for her. So that is certainly true that some people can beat the odds whereas others won't. 

    And els19, I have felt like this also. 

    "I've always hated when someone tells me I'll be fine because I always have such a positive attitude. So, if I have a bad day and I'm depressed and ate a big bowl of ice cream and didn't go for a walk or pray that day, did I just lessen my survival chances? Of course, when I'm feeling positive I'm more likely to exercise and eat healthy. But I refuse to blame myself for my disease. Maybe it was something I was exposed to when I was five or maybe it's just bad luck. I think all any of us can do is the best we can."

    One friend...and I know she means well told me to "not talk like that" when I mentioned 5 year survival rates not long after sharing my dianosis with her. She said I have be more positive. I agree that having a positive attitude is important, but we also need to come to grips with what things might be like us going foward.  A person can't always be upbeat and positive when you don't feel well. And aren't we allowed to have a "pity party" once in awhile? This whole "cancer stuff' is a lot to deal with and it gets overwhelming at times. I know she means well, but hearing her say that to me just felt to me like she didn't want to hear it. That's why it has been so helpful to me to come here and hear what you all have to say. Your insights and advice are invaluable. So thanks again to all of you for sharing. :-)

    Thank you els and Rita for such nice compliments.

    I have said this before in prior posts, that we are shockingly honest here in a way we cannot be sometimes with our family and friends. It is the proverbial safe space. What is also true is that the "think positive" police can be devastating to us emotionally because they don't allow us to talk about what we are going through, to grieve what we have lost, to come to terms with our situation. I don't mind admitting to anyone here what an emotional wreck I was during the 1st year, but only my husband saw and heard the worst of my days. I figured out pretty quickly that my kids and friends could not handle seeing me melting down, especially in the early days. What could be more terrifying than to see a bald woman sobbing on the couch, Mom, the strong one in the family, unable to cope? What I did learn is that I needed to grieve my old life and come to terms with my future, before I could move to a stronger emotional place. Actually, I had no choice because I was so emotionally fragile that I sometimes just could not control when I was melting down. I learned whom I needed to protect myself from and whom was safe to talk to. I had an acquaintance die of ovarian cancer many years ago and I never knew how to talk to her, so I know it is hard for others to talk to us. As far as blame goes, I cannot think of anything more counterproductive than blame. I can't change the past, I can only learn from it and try to do better. So the takeaway is that there is no one way to go through this, and we should not be too hard on ourselves.

    Denise

  • RainbowRita
    RainbowRita Member Posts: 72 Member
    edited June 2021 #15
    Wow, and you are still friends. :-)

    I guess that either the two of you are really good friends and you realized she meant well or you are a very forgiving person. Smile It may have been honest, but the comment was certainly insensitive. But the context of the conversation and the situation where it occured matters and I wasn't there. But sad to say, I think she was right, as I've been telling myself that lately. I think you are right though that the ones who are supportive are the ones who've experienced something similar or with a close family member so they find it less awkward to talk about. Kind of how people are afraid to talk to someone who has recently lost someone. Big 'ol elephant in the room. I was at our dog club's first "in-person" meeting since Covid a month ago and most of the people there wouldn't even look at me, much less talk to me. I wanted to shout at them, "Will you just act normal? I'm still the same person. You act like am I invisible and what are you, twelve?" Most of these people I have known for years, so I didn't expect things to be so awkward, but I think the wig I was wearing was what made matters worse. 

    I'll have to check out that book. :-) I just googled those words and found a few online articles. Here's one: https://cancerservicesonline.org/supporting-someone-through-cancer-what-to-say-what-not-to-say 

    They also have a good article for those of us with cancer on what to tell people. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have a tendency to just put on a "happy face" and say I'm doing fine. When people say to let them know if I ever need any help, I thank them for their offer, but then tell them I'm doing OK. One reason is because I'm not sure they actually would follow up on an offer and that would be awkward and dissapointing to me if I ever did ask for them to do something specific. And in regards to helping with housework, I'd be embarrassed to have someone come in and clean my untidy house and I'd feel I'd have to clean it before they'd come and then that would just be more work for me. ;-) I just have two more chemo cycles to endure and then hopefully I'll be done with it. So I figure I can handle looking at the clutter on the counters a little longer. My next chemo cycle is next Thursday and then the last one is scheduled for July 28th. So looking forward to August! :-)

    https://cancerservicesonline.org/when-you-are-diagnosed-communicating-with-friends-and-family 

  • els19
    els19 Member Posts: 106 Member
    edited June 2021 #16

    Wow, and you are still friends. :-)

    I guess that either the two of you are really good friends and you realized she meant well or you are a very forgiving person. Smile It may have been honest, but the comment was certainly insensitive. But the context of the conversation and the situation where it occured matters and I wasn't there. But sad to say, I think she was right, as I've been telling myself that lately. I think you are right though that the ones who are supportive are the ones who've experienced something similar or with a close family member so they find it less awkward to talk about. Kind of how people are afraid to talk to someone who has recently lost someone. Big 'ol elephant in the room. I was at our dog club's first "in-person" meeting since Covid a month ago and most of the people there wouldn't even look at me, much less talk to me. I wanted to shout at them, "Will you just act normal? I'm still the same person. You act like am I invisible and what are you, twelve?" Most of these people I have known for years, so I didn't expect things to be so awkward, but I think the wig I was wearing was what made matters worse. 

    I'll have to check out that book. :-) I just googled those words and found a few online articles. Here's one: https://cancerservicesonline.org/supporting-someone-through-cancer-what-to-say-what-not-to-say 

    They also have a good article for those of us with cancer on what to tell people. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have a tendency to just put on a "happy face" and say I'm doing fine. When people say to let them know if I ever need any help, I thank them for their offer, but then tell them I'm doing OK. One reason is because I'm not sure they actually would follow up on an offer and that would be awkward and dissapointing to me if I ever did ask for them to do something specific. And in regards to helping with housework, I'd be embarrassed to have someone come in and clean my untidy house and I'd feel I'd have to clean it before they'd come and then that would just be more work for me. ;-) I just have two more chemo cycles to endure and then hopefully I'll be done with it. So I figure I can handle looking at the clutter on the counters a little longer. My next chemo cycle is next Thursday and then the last one is scheduled for July 28th. So looking forward to August! :-)

    https://cancerservicesonline.org/when-you-are-diagnosed-communicating-with-friends-and-family 

    Insensitive

    I found the comment very insensitive at the time. But I was getting so many insensitive comments. I did the same thing you did Denise. I became very protective of myself and tended to avoid people and situations to protect myself. I felt I was standing on a precipice just hanging on and negativity could just send me over the cliff. I tend to be honest on how I'm feeling with most people but others I just say fine. This time around I even took up some people on their offers of help. I found they were actually very happy to help me with things like a grocery run. I'm very lucky to have a wonderful husband who does most of the work around the house and with whom I can always lean on. But when he recently badly injured his hand, I realized all the things that are still hard for me to do. For some reason I just can't give in to someone cleaning my house for me. I'd feel like I'd have to clean it first too. I had no problem hiring someone for the yard work. But somehow your home is just too personal. So, don't worry about the clutter. It will wait and you really will feel up to cleaning it up someday soon.

     

     

     

    hanging on and on some days those insensitive comments could send me straight over. 

  • Maxster
    Maxster Member Posts: 102 Member
    edited June 2021 #17
    Thank you all!

    I think I have been lucky to be around supportive people but even then I felt I had to keep up a happy face.  I haven't faced insensitive comments but a person in my support group was happy to learn she had the BRACA gene to stem off the comments that somehow her breast cancer and now ovarian cancer was her fault!  I could not think of something more awful.  But I do know family and friends prefer the good news and not my fears.  I try to do what I can do to improve my chances and also accept most of this is out of my control.  But I do fear recurrence and what it might mean.  I feel like I did all I could during chemo and the thought of going through that again just depresses me.  I feel hopeless at times.  I do a lot of self-talk as many of you do to keep me sensible and in a positive direction.  But there are days when a cloud comes over.  Not sure what triggers it.  On the luck thing, I feel like bad luck dogs my family.  My mother died of breast cancer at age 44.  It was in the fifties and there wasn't much treatment besides surgery.  She did live for six years after her first masectomy but by the second the cancer had spread.  My sister also had breast cancer.  A blood test did not reveal any genetic link.  In fact the geneticist said it is possible my mom had two different cancers! My daughter had a scare with her breast but it was benign, thank God.  My gyn-onc was so kind to me when I was looking for a reason.  He just said so kindly that this cancer was not my fault.  I didn't do anything to cause it.  My cancer is also not genetic.  I would say good for my daughters but our luck doesn't seem to run on the dark side.  Thank you all for sharing and letting me express myself.  I try not to think about it but it is on my mind most days.  I am over 1.5 years from diagnosis.  I hope the thoughts diminish soon.

  • cmb
    cmb Member Posts: 1,001 Member
    Looking Forward

    My one sister and closest friends were fine when I was diagnosed and having treatment. But my other sister was one of those annoying "positive" people. Of course, I was hopeful that I'd have good results from treatment, but I was realistic enough to know that the odds weren't great, given my stage and type of cancer.

    Well, I'm still here 4 years after chemo ended and with no reason to believe that I'm not NED. It's a bit irritating to think that my positive sister is probably thinking "I told her so," but in this case I'll have to give her a pass since proving she was wrong would definitely not be in my best interest.

    Carcinosarcoma usually recurs within the first year or two. Once I hit the two-year mark, I figured whatever time I had after that was "found time" that I was going to appreciate.

    Maxster, both my parents had cancer and I learned that I have Lynch Syndrome. So I know that even if I don't have a recurrence of my uterine cancer I can always develop another kind. All I can do is have the mammograms, colonoscopies and other tests on a regular basis and hope if something else develops it will be caught early. I haven't stopped thinking about cancer completely, but I am renewing my magazine subscriptions for more than one year at a time once again.

  • Lyn70
    Lyn70 Member Posts: 214 Member
    Puddle description really hits home with me.

    Six months past hysterectomy and nearing two months past chemo. I think I have been the most stressed during this period of non activity. I know this is a common experience. No infusion pals or cheerleaders to encourage me. I put on my happy face because apparently 'I Am Strong'. This is according to my family and my sister who said, "You got this!" I cannot tolerate that phrase. The one thing I know I have got is cancer. I am one of 'those people' who flip to the end of the book so in my mind I imagine my end. I cry a great deal. 

    I do regret not controlling my obesity. The checklist for endometrial cancer, I checked every box. Obese, started cycle at an early age, never had a child and diabetic. No one ever told me this cancer was looming in my future. Years prior, an ob told me after an exam and a negative HPV test, I did not need to come back for exams. I was relieved. I bring this up because I share a concern for awareness and education for future women. I believe vaginal ultrasounds should be mandatory testing on post menopausal women. It is an early indication of endometrial cancer in those with thickened lining. I had a friend alert me to see my Primary by her statement that 'No amount of post menopausal bleeding is okay!' Thank God for her. 

    I am starting 28 days of external radiation and 3 Brachey placements next week. I am praying this period brings me a sense of peace and a fighting spirit. I love you ladies and reading your posts has heloed me tremendously. 

     

  • BluebirdOne
    BluebirdOne Member Posts: 654 Member
    edited July 2021 #20
    Maxster said:

    Thank you all!

    I think I have been lucky to be around supportive people but even then I felt I had to keep up a happy face.  I haven't faced insensitive comments but a person in my support group was happy to learn she had the BRACA gene to stem off the comments that somehow her breast cancer and now ovarian cancer was her fault!  I could not think of something more awful.  But I do know family and friends prefer the good news and not my fears.  I try to do what I can do to improve my chances and also accept most of this is out of my control.  But I do fear recurrence and what it might mean.  I feel like I did all I could during chemo and the thought of going through that again just depresses me.  I feel hopeless at times.  I do a lot of self-talk as many of you do to keep me sensible and in a positive direction.  But there are days when a cloud comes over.  Not sure what triggers it.  On the luck thing, I feel like bad luck dogs my family.  My mother died of breast cancer at age 44.  It was in the fifties and there wasn't much treatment besides surgery.  She did live for six years after her first masectomy but by the second the cancer had spread.  My sister also had breast cancer.  A blood test did not reveal any genetic link.  In fact the geneticist said it is possible my mom had two different cancers! My daughter had a scare with her breast but it was benign, thank God.  My gyn-onc was so kind to me when I was looking for a reason.  He just said so kindly that this cancer was not my fault.  I didn't do anything to cause it.  My cancer is also not genetic.  I would say good for my daughters but our luck doesn't seem to run on the dark side.  Thank you all for sharing and letting me express myself.  I try not to think about it but it is on my mind most days.  I am over 1.5 years from diagnosis.  I hope the thoughts diminish soon.

    Maxster, it does get better!

    I am almost three years out from my treatment for UPSC. NED so far. The first year I was a puddle of emotions, but once I realized it was healthy to give into it, I was able to see how allowing yourself to be sad, angry, cry, (no shame in any of that) I gradually was able to process (I hate that word but it is descriptive) what I was going through. It takes time to adjust emotionally, so take that time, realize it is normal and do your best to be good to yourself. The 2nd year was easier, but I was still terrified of every ache and pain, still worried about recurrence. In my third year, I am much happier, emotionally stable, rolling with the punches. I do not feel the sense of doom I had earlier, but always in the back of my mind I know it can come back. I feel the same as some, everyday I have now is a gift and post Covid we are going to have a dedicated Year of Fun. Family, grandkids, friends, a bit of travel.

    Denise

  • Lyn70
    Lyn70 Member Posts: 214 Member
    edited July 2021 #21
    Similar story

    Rainbow Rita, We do have a similar story and timeline. We both have stage III but I am an A and you are a B. Going thru covid lockdown and then getting covid in February 2021 and monocolonial antibodies was lonely, boring and frightening all rolled into one package! My second chemo was delayed due to testing positive.I live alone but I have great support with two friends who were willing to shop and drop off for me. My vaccination was delayed by 90 days due to the antibodies. It was hard waiting until April for the vaccine. Everyone in my group had been vacinated while I was still isolated and mask wearing. I am still mask wearing due the the rise of the Delta variant in MO..

    I see you have your mother with you. Im sure that has its benefits and challenges. A virtual hug to you for that.

     My ob oncologist didn't mention sandwich therapy to me. I am not sure why. Thank you for your kind words and your experience with radiation. I really appreciate it! There is not much experience out on this site about radiation. I searched it as a key word and found little discussion. One of the comments suggested their oncologist didn't feel the risk was worth it. That concerned me but 'long term' side effects are the least of my concerns right now. I want to prevent the cancer from reoccurring locally.

    Did you have a a problem with radiation and diarrhea? I have had an issue with that since I was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I am taking a daily probiotic and have armed myself with so many anti-diarhea pills the cashier did a double take! 

    I don't had a word to describe this experience other than a 'path'. I walk a mile, sometimes more, daily and I take different paths to change up the walk. I think of Robert Frost and his poem about the road that diverged in the wood and the road less traveled. I think we are on that road and many decisions lie ahead for us. 

    Hugs to all my Sisters on the site for their story, information, encouragement and support!