Stage 4 Colon with Mets to liver—worse 50th bday gift ever!

Welcome to the forum

Don't worry about getting pitied, we're all in the same boat, so no pity here - JUST KIDDING!  It is not pity so much as it is empathy. We are empathetic (some may say I'm pathetic), becasue we are rowing the same boat as you. Empathy is much better than pity. 

I had almost the same expereince with prep, except my GP told me to use 2 enemas. Well, the 'what goes up, must come down' was not true that day, and I ended up in the emergency room. I too, had a large mass, blocking the exit.  Surgery took care of that, followed up by FOLFOX, 5FU & Radiation.

Do not worry about the numbers.  They are just estimates, which change person to person.  

Take me for example - and Abita and many others on the forum.  I am Stage IV, diagnosed in December 2012. recurrance in liver 2014, and since then, NED - No Evidence of Disease. 

Each one of us could tell you how we came to a level of acceptance, and calm - certain amount of calm, but at the end of the day, you have to find your own way.  Still, you can read about all the different ways we've done it, and maybe find your inspiration here. 

Guided imagery was a life saver for me, during chemo. I moved from there to meditation, and as my body healed, yoga and meditation.   I quite shocked myself, becasue I never thought in a thousand years, I would be the meditating kind of person. too energetic. But alas, it worked miracles in my life, and I feel it is still working a miracle. Part of the reason I am doing as well as I am. 

Well, there is my personal experience.  I know you will find yours.  You will find your new normal, because the old normal probably won't be with you for a long time, if ever. 

Plan your daughter's graduation and plan on being there.  Again, don't look at the stats, so many of us have proved them wrong, and you will be one of the as well. 

Tru

Don't rely on stats

Sorry to meet you in this forum but rest assured, you are in a great place for support given your situation. No one here will rainbow anything for you but also won't make it worse than it has to be. Cancer is unique to each patient. That's why it's so hard to cure. My wife was 39 yrs old at diagnosis in August 2019. Mass in colon, spread to 3 lymphnodes and then they discovered two tiny mets on liver about 2 months later. 12 rounds of FOLFOX after surgeries - her last round was in May 2020. Stats showed 15% survival rate on google. What those stats don't show is the effect of age, eating habits, timing of when they catch the mets, excercise regimen, previous underlying illnesses, etc. The truth is your chance at 5 yr + survival can be well over 50, 60 and even 70%. That average includes very elderly people who may have died from something unrelated or whose bodies cannot fight back the same way a 50 yr old can. This may sound strange to hear, and I'm no oncologist, but without knowing anything else about your profile, it seems you are in a really good category of a crummy situation. My wife, thank Gd, has had clear scans since and we take it day to day. Stage 4 cancer doesn't have the same outcome as even 5 years ago. Doctors are really good at this stuff. Good luck. 

Fuss and Whine Away

We all do it now and again.  Based on what you wrote, however, you do not sound like you are whining.  You sound like you have things together really well.  

You can click on my profile for more details, but I am Stage IV - mets throughout lymph nodes, spine and lungs (had part of lung removed in 2016, have at least 6 dozen tumors in my lungs).  My survival rate at diagnosis was that 10% make it 5 years.  I am 6 years 2 months past my first surgery in 2015. 

I started exercising when it came back for the third time in three years in 2017.  Never ran before then, and no way near being an athlete, but have completed 1/2 marathons and other races, including triathlons, while on chemo.  Attitude is not going to be a cure in all of this, but I am a believer it helps.  My doctors are pretty sure at this point that the exercise has helped my body compensate.  I had a bit of down time  this month (April) due to COVID Vaccine and Chemo timing,  but still have run 10 miles and biked 35 miles so far in April.  

There are going to be down points, but try to get past them as quickly as you can.  Come here if you need an ear or support.  It is also okay to be a little selfish and do things you like.  The panademic does not help of course, but I found going out for a lunch and a cup of coffee helped me feel normal.  Binge some comedies.  Based on what you described in terms of a pension and health benefits,  an early retirement sounds like something to seriously consider. I know I would be be looking at doing that. 

Anyway, sorry you are here, but welcome.  

Ebaran71

I'm glad you found this site! I'm another stage IV, diagnosed June 2018 at age 54. This group helped me more than I can describe when going through active treatment and continues to mean so much. I'm sure you will find the same. I also had surgery, then Folfax, etc and in August 2019 I was declared NED. Last scans still clear so I'm keeping it moving at approaching 3 yrs from diagnosis. Yes the pandemic stinks yet here I am stronger than I was when it started. 

You will see that even with Stage IV cancer, one can still have a life and some are treated as if it is a chronic illness. It is helpful to read past messages where so many share their stories. It is an education like no other and was like a lifeline to me. 

The biggest lesson I learned here is that there is Life with cancer and where there is Life there is Hope.

You are not alone.