Fighting Dragons or Letting Go

mojogirl67
mojogirl67 Member Posts: 306
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Those of you who have followed me know I am as real as I can be. I wear my emotions openly for the most part...too much pretense and fear in the life. I wanted to reach out and just ramble. The steroids are keeping things at bay. I hate taking them but I'm just waiting for my oldest daughter to return from the Hawaii trip and I will let life unfold. I have an incredible sense of peace and relief that the end of this is near. Being strong enough to know what worked for my spirit and being able to make those choices early on was a blessing. You find yourself bombarded with choices...some you make for others that have no benefit for yourself. Some you make for yourself as hope and "fight" whisper in your ear. I will always be a reacher for love and light until the curtain comes down. I don't profess to know what happen as you leave this world even tho' my sweet mother put me in the path of church every time she could hoping I suppose to strenghthen my armor and reserves in this life ahead. I have experienced enough to know that this body is nothing but a shell for conscious and spirit. What I do know, is life shouldn't be such a struggle. With the onset of Covid, it's as if the stage is set for even more madness. I shake my head with all of the mania surrouding Covid and  the mass of control and fear brought into our lives. How is it that cancer erupted like wildflower with no cures in sights...chemical crap and barbariac surgeries never really improving,...just a few more "studies and trials" to justify more money and insurance BS to make those on the hospitals boards and insurance companies richer. Why are we not marching, screaming and rising up to cancer "centers" popping up all over? Why aren't we asking what is going on in the world to disrupt our bodies and cells to the extent that we are seeing? Even as someone who believes in natural remedies, our days shouldn't be filled with chasing a plant or leaf to give us one more breath. When I think about the time, the worry, the money, the endless nights coming over studies and trials and the posts of others...It is just so,so wrong.. How I so wish I could wave a magic wand and erase the word "cancer" out of the lives of each of you here...regardles what capacity it has touched you in. I know that is not something within my minute existence here. What I can do is tell those of you who struggle with letting go, there is a beauty and peace in it not to be feared. My life is not your life nor is my journey. When my time comes, I will still reach for life and love. If I wake up in the middle of fighting dragons, I will fight for each of us. If I wake up hiking in my beautiful mountains with my husband, I will sit, dip my toes in the creek and send as much love and light raining down on those who are still in the storms of this world gone mad.  

 

 

Comments

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    edited March 2021 #2
    It is good to hear from you

    Good that you can ramble.  I was afeared that your last post was going to be just that.

    Sadly there is no magic wand to wave. Not now, not ever. I wish they were as quick to work on a cure for Cancer as they were to produce a vaccine for COVID. 

    At the end of the day, prevention is the key. The world needs to be educated on how to take care of the environment and our bodies. What we do to the earth is just as important as what we do to our bodies. It seems we are heading further and further away from that, and thus, Cancer will touch more lives as the years progress. 

    I counted the other day, seven acquaintances that I know who have been diagnosed with CRC - I didn't even count the other freinds who have had Cancer in other parts. Seven. Seven friends since I was diangnosed. Seven friends in seven years. There is something terribly wrong with that senario. 

    Return to us as often as you are able.  You are much loved and cared for. 

    Tru

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,427 Member
    #3
    Dropped You a Note

    I dropped you a message when you posted your news.  My thoughts are with you.

  • worriedson714
    worriedson714 Member Posts: 333 Member
    #4
    I don't know if I have the right words

    Everytime I read one of your posts mojo I admire your perspective and insight more and more the way you see life is just beautiful . I to have also wondered why there isn't more outrage about how much cancer there is in the world ? Why is no one angry about all the cancer causing chemicals in our foods ? Why is smoking such a huge habit even though the risk to life is so big ? Sadly I don't think we'll ever have the answers to those questions and maybe where never suppose to idk . 

    What I do know is reading your posts since I been a part of this website has profoundly changed me . When my dad was diagnosed I was left with one big question why ? Your posts have helped me to see why doesn't even matter what matters is enjoying life enjoying every single moment with my dad . At this moment my dad's doctors want him to do chemo and radiation even though his radiation oncologist isn't even sure he has cancer . Even though the oncologist has been wrong about my dad's cancer spreading . My dad is airing on the side of caution and choose to do the wait and watch is approoch he doesn't want to rush into treatment and make a mistake . At first the fear of a son rose in me that it was a mistake to wait cause it could grow . However I remembered your posts and the things you said and I realized maybe my dad is right to be cautious cause treatment isn't without risks . Now I am just enjoying seeing my dad strong and seeing him excited to go on a vacation again . I guess what I am trying to say is you made a difference your posts made a difference in my life and helping me in ways I can't even put into words . So you will be in my prays always and I am wishing you all the best and my god grant you peace . 

  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    edited March 2021 #5
    Thank you

    Thanks for being open about what you are feeling.  If there is any group that will understand, this is it. I hope you will use the steriods as much as they help.  Personally, I liked the steriods alot, but they were bad for my heart, so now I stay away.  You deserve all the best every day and in the quality of life you can obtain.  My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #6
    Post

    I'm not sure how to respond to your post, but it sounds like you have made much peace with your existence here and in the future.  I'm glad that you are able to see the future with such love and tranquillity.  I'm hoping that you continue to post while you are able and still enjoy your loved ones and mountains that you treasure. 

    Kim

     

  • Twinzma
    Twinzma Member Posts: 236 Member
    edited March 2021 #7
    I don't come here often

    I am so sad to hear the news just now. I just wanted to say Thank You, you have helped me more than you will ever know. Being a caretaker, it's hard for me to fully grasp everything but you made our journey an easier pill to swallow. You shared so much, offered up some awesome sound advice. You fought like hell and gave inspiration to so many. Know you have touched so many lives and made them all for the better. It is an honor to have had you in my life, even if it was just virtually. I pray for your comfort and peace and for your families as well. Hugs!!!!!

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