Decision time

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Comments

  • Mercorby
    Mercorby Member Posts: 94 Member
    Right time
    Thank you.
    Your story came at exactly the right time for me. I've been on this cancer journey for 5 years (endometrial, surgery, 2 recurrences, and now in remission, but on Ibrance for Maintainance). The other day, during my port flush, I sat between two women who were further along on this journey - both had worse recurrences each time. We chatted and then, I went on my way leaving the others to their continued treatment. I felt restless that night and a bit edgy the next morning. It took me a while to understand, but I realized that these two women were me - in the future. That lead to a funk for me. The doctors have already told me that my cancer will definitely come back, but that there were many new treatments and many old treatments that would work. I could keep going for 20 years.

    Donna Faye, reading how you have fully lived your life between and during treatments really reminded me to live more in the moment again. I had lost sight of that for a few days, but I feel like you jolted me back into it.

    Many blessings to you and your loving family. You give and receive love. I am so grateful that you share your personal journey. Peace to all.
  • CheeseQueen57
    CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933 Member
    You’re my hero

    I'm sorry to learn of your outcome.   I'm kinda there're with you but I wish I was 80 not 60.  I'll keep you posted if I can.  

  • CheeseQueen57
    CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933 Member
    edited October 2020 #24
    80 vs 60

    I'm not implying 80 is easier than 60.  It's never enough time. 

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,353 Member
    edited October 2020 #25

    80 vs 60

    I'm not implying 80 is easier than 60.  It's never enough time. 

    Susan, I don't think any of

    Susan, I don't think any of us took it the wrong way.  Prayers my warrior friend.

  • zsazsa1
    zsazsa1 Member Posts: 565 Member
    edited October 2020 #26
    Donna, so sorry to hear the

    Donna, so sorry to hear the the treatment was not efficacious.  I am hoping that you and the family take a good hard look at all the options.  It may be that the offered trial has minimal side effects, and potential benefits.  The life background that you gave makes me understand now your courage.  You must have always been like that.

  • Donna Faye
    Donna Faye Member Posts: 427 Member

    You’re my hero

    I'm sorry to learn of your outcome.   I'm kinda there're with you but I wish I was 80 not 60.  I'll keep you posted if I can.  

    So glad to hear from you

    You are so right - it is very different at 80 than 60. My BC diagnosis was at age 57 and I took all the treatments they told me would help. You have been such a trooper and I hope your treatments make it better for a long time. I was just glad to hear from you. xoxo df

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member
    edited October 2020 #28
    Hi Donna Faye:

    Hi Donna Faye:

    Sorry things were not working out.   With regard to Hospice, there are two ways to look at it.  Hospice/Pallative Care means that you can still go for your treatments and office visits etc.   Just Hospice means that you are entitled to nursing care and medications and medical supplies that you may need and they will bring it to you.  However with this option you cannot do anytype of treatments.   On a further however if at anytime you are feeling better or feel you rather try treatments you can of course change your status. Its your choice and they are there for you for whatever choice or questions you need or may have.

    I love your outlook on life.  Keep smiling.  Sending you lots of hugs!

    Kathy

  • Fridays Child
    Fridays Child Member Posts: 277 Member
    edited October 2020 #29
    Hospice

    Donna Faye, my mother had a friend who was in and out of hospice care for several years, so you can certainly stop if you so choose without giving up the option of further care when you need it. 

    When my brother went into hospice care, he was still going to go to his oncologist every three weeks instead of every week, which was a great relief to him as the trips were exhausting even with me driving him.  Hospice was going to provide his medications to treat symptoms.

    Whatever you choose, you can always change it if you want.

  • zsazsa1
    zsazsa1 Member Posts: 565 Member
    edited October 2020 #30
    Donna, thank you for posting

    Donna, thank you for posting that part of your life story.  It tells me that you were always courageous.  Your family is so lucky to have had a matriarch like you.  

    It sounds as if you've decided against the clinical trials, and for that, I cannot blame you one bit.  You feel good now, and I suspect that with the trial meds, you wouldn't, yet they have little chance of helping now.

    We're having a beautiful, warm fall in my part of the country.  I hope it is the same for you, and that you and the family enjoy every minute of it together.

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,482 Member
    edited October 2020 #31

    Another thanks and a little history

    In 1997, I had seen my 3 children graduate college( I taught in a regular high school 8-3; then in a night high school, 4-11p). It had provided what we needed financially, and of course, the children all had scholarships, grants or work-study, so we all felt a great sense of accomplishment. I had $3000 in $25 dollar saving bonds which was all I could afford to save during those years. So, to celebrate, I cashed them and went on my western adventure - working with the Hopi Indians in AZ; then just touring the west. I arrived home in late August and was now only working at the night school. One October evening I was watching TV and a breast cancer awareness ad asked: when did you last check your breast? Well, I said, it has been a while! I checked my left breast and felt the golf ball tumor! Monday I was checked by my doc and 1 week later had a mastectomy and was soon on Cytoxan and Adriamycin; 6 weeks of 5 day a week rads. With 21 nodes diseased and removed from left arm, I was a stage 3 and prognosis was grim. Got ready to die but at 55 was hoping to survive. Naturally we held a family powwow and everyone was ready.( I taught during all the treatment and did very well.)  Took tomoxifin for 5 years and was cancer free for 25 years and lived the best life! Took early retirement and worked on a cattle ranch in Montana, worked as a wrangler at a cowboy camp, visited S Africa, Canada, Mexico, then came home to be nanny for my daughter's soon-to-be born baby. Two grandsons 2 years apart and they got to be around my horses on the farm I had rented and for 10 years, we had a ball. Taught them to scoop poop and groom and ride! Joy unbounded. Then in Jan.,2017 the tamoxifen came home to roost, and I had uterine cancer, UPSC. 3 rounds of cytoxin and tyxol; recurrence on cuff in April,2018; cisplatin and rads (25 pelvic and 8 brachy); recurrence on cuff in Oct.,2019 - surgery. Prognosis was grim - told would be lucky not to be in hospice by June. Well, it did not happen. But sold my townhouse and moved in with my son, once again updated will, etc. and had a nice $ amount in MM for end of life care. 

    So you can see why it is easier for us to all be on the same page. As my eldest says: "They have been trying to get mom to die for 25 years and she ain't having it!". So I have decided that each of us does cancer our own way and what works for one may not for another. All the ladies here are walking the walk and we are the best cheerleaders for each other!!!

    I will keep you abreast on how things go. I have instructed my daughter to be sure you know when I am gone and to again thank you for your strong support! Remember, right now I have zero symptoms and feel fine. So just being a contented old lady being pampered by her family.  I feel your love and support! 

    If I have told this history before, remember I am OLD (  :

     

    Dear Donna, I read your story

    Dear Donna, I read your story with awe and wonder! What an adventure your life has been. I personally believe you have made the right decision and hope that when my time comes I can have the resolve you do. You are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

    Love,

    Eldri