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Fatique

Jacjac2's picture
Jacjac2
Posts: 44
Joined: Feb 2016

Been dealing with this recurrent uterine cancer since Dec. 2015.   I have had 3 differenct treatments plus now on a management chemo treatment. I am trying to keep the postivie focus and attitude. I have pushed and pushed not to let all this get to me but today it did.  The fatique and fact that I can only be on my feet 20 minutes, that all my muscles seem to ache and I have no energy.  Not even sure why I am writing to the group.  Seem a little lost.  Family and friends  (to me)  kind of think that things are back to normal since we started the management phase.  Everyone tells me I am doing good and that I look good, but inside I know how I am feeling.  I am trying to put up the front but find it is taking an emotional toll on me.

I am eating junk, I cant seem to find the energy to fix the good meals needed for myself and husband.  All around me it is life back to normal but inside of me it is not.  Even off during the summer from teaching,  I cant seem to get the rest I need.  I have the guilt feeling of just sitting, which I know is bad as well. 

I can't find a balance.  Sorry for the venting, needed somewhere that I could release some things without upsetting others.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2597
Joined: Mar 2013

Jacjac, please never apologize to us for venting.  Who else "gets it"?  Getting it out will help - a good cry, my favorite is to scream in my car (wh is going to call the police?)  Try one thing today - that's all.  Does your school offer EAP?  It usually is part of most people's health plans now, they treat like a package, get the number out and just talk to someone.  

You are allowed your pity-party.  I bet you will feel better afterwards.  Hugs dear one.

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

Jacjac. This is the place to vent! As no time said we are the ones who understand because all the friends and relatives no matter how well meaning just don’t get it! I’ve actually been clear for two years, but it doesn’t matter! We may look fine, but inside we are changed forever . I hope you will have some time to enjoy your summer. As a retired teacher I know how quickly it does fly by! Prayers for you and please continue to vent!

Jacjac2's picture
Jacjac2
Posts: 44
Joined: Feb 2016

Thank you for the replies.  Yes after I vented, I did feel some better.  I had my cry, and like the trooper I am, I got up and began cleaning and doing laundry.  I work for about 20 then find I sit for about 30-40.  Ms. Soup52, what happened to the days of 3 months for summer vacation, I work next week for workshop and then back to full time August 3rd.  Ms NoTime.....I will check into the EAP program.  I have not been a busy bee on here but I think it is going to take the support of those who are going thru this to find those that understand.  Thank you both for the time you took to calm me.

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

That's a great suggestion. Please do follow through. 

 

 

Donna Faye's picture
Donna Faye
Posts: 255
Joined: Jan 2017

carry the load of pain, worry, depression, whatever! I, too, can't seem to get away from this UPSC - now awaiting a biopsy on 3 July to see if another recurrence. Been dealing with it since January 2017 and some days I wonder why I should get out of bed. But I log on here and see that there are so many of us. Read my Sword of Damocles post. Life is not easy. Know that the times  when you are lowest you can reach out to us. Also, let your teacher friends know how you feel. My first cancer was 20 years ago when I was teaching and my coworkers were fantastic. Hang in there.

Armywife's picture
Armywife
Posts: 320
Joined: Feb 2018

I've been finished with chemo for almost 9 months and I still can't imagine having the stamina to go back in the classroom.  I spend much of my day in the recliner and I know that's really not good, but the fatigue is no joke.  You've been through a lot.  Give yourself a break.

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