Surgery tomorrow scared

tomorrow is doomsday how my husband calls it! We are to arrive at 7.30 to have the embolization done and then his surgery to remove his kidney and that nasty evil 15cm tumour! we are both scared! He keeps crying and I am just secretly hiding my tears cause I am trying to be strong for him and our 3 kids! I will be waiting in the hospital during the surgery! I am so scared of the moment they take him! There is this what if in my head and it makes me crazy! He is so scared! 

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Comments

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    We all were scared of the surgery

    wife,

     

    Being scared of the surgery is normal. May he have an uneventful surgery.

     

     

    Icemantoo

  • Bay Area Guy
    Bay Area Guy Member Posts: 618 Member
    It's perfectly normal to be

    It's perfectly normal to be scared.  If you weren't, I'd be a heck of a lot more concerned about that.  Best wishes for a great outcome.

  • sandy23
    sandy23 Member Posts: 143 Member
    edited March 2017 #4
    Definitely know the feeling

    I just went through this on 3/6 with my husband so I will be glad to help in any way that I can. Do you have anyone to be with you while he is in surgery?

  • stub1969
    stub1969 Member Posts: 966 Member
    Stay positive

    Remember--he gets that "nasty evil 15 cm" tumor out of him.   Stay positive, he'll be fine.

    Stub

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463 Member
    edited March 2017 #6
    Hi again Evelyn

    I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

    The surgery will go well. Our medical systems and staff are really good at this sort of thing.

    But waiting will be hard on you. The hospital might have some staff or volunteers who can wait with you and maybe help with the kids.

    I'd come and sit with you myself but I'm just too far away. I'm there in spirit, though.

    Steve.

  • BoondockSaint
    BoondockSaint Member Posts: 242 Member
    I know all too well what you

    I know all too well what you're feeling and thinking. It's nerve racking to put it mildly. But......when that surgeon comes out to tell you "He did great, we got it all and he''s going to be well." You will find yourself able to breath again.

    My wife is 20 days post surgery today. She's doing well and is going to go in to work for a little while today. Remember.....we're here if you need us.

    He'll do fine. Keep us posted......wishing you guys the best.

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    Sweet, Evelyn, glad you came

    Sweet, Evelyn, glad you came to us to let us support YOU through this scary time. We're always here for you and your hubby!! Wish I could be with you tomorrow, so think of me there, with my arm around you, finding ways to distract, laugh and cry together!!

    There in spirit~

    Healing hugs, Jan

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #9
    Thank you all so much for your kind words!

    you are all so amazing! I don't really know how I will get through tomorrow and also tonight! I am just so so scared that something will go wrong because all the docs say that it's very risky because of the size of the tumour! I am just so so worried!

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    Oh dear, that is doctor talk

    Oh dear, that is doctor talk allowing you to know he'll have a bit of a challenge with his surgical skills due to this size. Let me tell you that my brother in law had a MASSIVE tumor envelping his whole kidney and he did fine. 20 years later he's doing very well in his life with never, ever any complications. He did have an "open" incision, due to the size, but back then they did not offer robatic surgery.

    Trust in the skills of this surgeon, pray for him and his staff. Trust your "faith" whatever that may be. Will you have anyone with you?

    Do "centered breathing" exercises.

    Jan

  • Jan4you said:

    Oh dear, that is doctor talk

    Oh dear, that is doctor talk allowing you to know he'll have a bit of a challenge with his surgical skills due to this size. Let me tell you that my brother in law had a MASSIVE tumor envelping his whole kidney and he did fine. 20 years later he's doing very well in his life with never, ever any complications. He did have an "open" incision, due to the size, but back then they did not offer robatic surgery.

    Trust in the skills of this surgeon, pray for him and his staff. Trust your "faith" whatever that may be. Will you have anyone with you?

    Do "centered breathing" exercises.

    Jan

    As they tell us it is open

    As they tell us it is open surgery! 40cm incision! just cause of the size of the tumour! I won't have anyone there but myself! But I will try the breathing! I am so distraight but I can't break down for him and the kids! 

  • Also the length of the

    Also the length of the surgery scares me... 4-6 hours... so so long!

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    Make sure he gets one of

    Make sure he gets one of those lumbar, velcro wraps used for low back problems. I have used it several surgeries. It supports those tender, sore muscles as they heal. It helped me get UP from a chair/bed more easily. I even wore it to bed. AND I would place dry ice packs inside over the larger incision (had laproscopic incisions) and it helped reduce the swelling=lessened the pain.

    Well, I will be "with you" in spirit dear, Evenlyn. You feel anyway you want, get those emotions OUT!

    Healing hugs, Jan

  • Jan4you said:

    Make sure he gets one of

    Make sure he gets one of those lumbar, velcro wraps used for low back problems. I have used it several surgeries. It supports those tender, sore muscles as they heal. It helped me get UP from a chair/bed more easily. I even wore it to bed. AND I would place dry ice packs inside over the larger incision (had laproscopic incisions) and it helped reduce the swelling=lessened the pain.

    Well, I will be "with you" in spirit dear, Evenlyn. You feel anyway you want, get those emotions OUT!

    Healing hugs, Jan

    Thank you so much for the

    Thank you so much for the advice! I will make sure he has one! I wonder how long they keep him in the hospital! They said 3-5 days... seemed so short to me! 

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    edited March 2017 #15
    Yes it seems short stay, BUT

    Yes it seems short stay, BUT as long as he can do his bodily functions (once catheter is out) and can walk, pain under control, its best to recoup at home. Hospitals do not let you rest! You are on their schedule. Just when you can finally sleep/rest, someone will come in to do or say something. He will also have those squeezing devices on legs to prevent clots, at least first day or so. They have a pump he'll hear when they squeeze. Some folks hate it, I loved it,made my legs feel good. I eventually got used to that sound.

    He'll also be on a pain pump first day at least. He just has to press a button to get extra push of the dose of morphine or fetanyl. Also he has versed in his general anesthesia which has amnesiac features as side effects. So it may seem like he forgets what you just said or what he just said, but that will wear off soon.  My sister does a whole routine on how people like me act when on Versed. LOL. But I "forgot" I had a button to push for pain pump!!

    Use the email portion of this site if you want further information or more personal talk. I will support you anytime!

    Jan

  • sandy23
    sandy23 Member Posts: 143 Member

    As they tell us it is open

    As they tell us it is open surgery! 40cm incision! just cause of the size of the tumour! I won't have anyone there but myself! But I will try the breathing! I am so distraight but I can't break down for him and the kids! 

    We will be here for you to

    We will be here for you to talk to during his surgery, if you like.  I went through my husband's surgery alone and, while it wasn't fun, I just tried to have courage but it was tough.  And, if you're like me, your husband is the one you lean on in your times of worry but now you also have all of us here on this forum.  The whole motley crew of us!!

    He will be fine, you will be fine and your kids will be fine.  

    We will be praying for you guys!!  Hang in there!!

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    Sending good wishes for tomorrow

    look at it this way; tomorrow he will be rid of that nasty tumor!  I remember my 5 weeks wait like a nightmare but when the day for the surgery arrived, I was sooo ready!  I don't mean I was not a bit scared, it feels surreal but I was realieved of having it come out!  Trust the medical team's skills and try as much as you possibly can to relax while waiting.  I trust to hear good news from you very, very soon!

  • PK_Chicago
    PK_Chicago Member Posts: 58
    Get through tomorrow - first!

    My tumor was 14.5, they removed it, my left kidney, and 8 inches of my colon - all at the same time!  Yes - it was scary and yes my wife and I cried - but just think about getting tomorrow done with, then tackle the recovery, then getting back home, then getting to your "new normal".  Surgery was 5 years ago for me and I am feeling fine.  My scar is probably 30cm and I was home after 5 days in the hospital.

    Stay strong!  He's gonna need you!

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    edited March 2017 #19
    Hang on

    Soon it will be behind you 2. Make only positive thoughts.

  • Doggyrescuer
    Doggyrescuer Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2017 #20
    It is very natural to be

    It is very natural to be nervous.  

    I am a 62 year old woman who is now 6 days post surgery and I was a total mess prior.  I had a 7.7 cm tumor that was removed along with the right kidney.  The waiting was the worst part.  My family was my rock during that difficult time. I knew they were very scared too but they held it together for me.  Your husband needs you to be strong for him and the children. Take deep breaths and keep in mind that by tomorrow this time, surgery will be over, the tumor will be gone and he will be on the road to recovery.

    I am doing very well and saw my surgeon for a follow-up this morning. He was amazed at how far I've come in just 6 days. Recovery is hard at times but attitude means everything. 

     

     

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    edited March 2017 #21
    Welcome

    Doggyrescuer,

     

    Start a new forum topic and tell us about your self so we can give you a proper welcome.

     

    Icemantoo