Is this normal?

I wish I had made the appointment sooner! Since my massage last night, I have not taken a single pain pill, no need to. I am sure a LOT of that was tension from everything that has occured in the last month and a half, and it really did the trick! I am very happy to be heading into the weekend and new year in a lot less pain. I may go again next week. 

To any newer members, or future members who may read this. If you are having lots of back pain and just uncomfortable I really recommend going and getting a massage as soon as you are able. It honestly made all the difference for me. I have not taken a single pain or anxiety pill since I went, I still get the odd twinges especially where my kidney was, but I feel like a new person. I think the mood issues were with the pain pills and anxiety pills, and I was only taking the anxiety pills because the more I hurt, the more anxious I would become. Kind of became a cycle I couldn't break on my own. 

I think I will still get into the chiropractor this week, mostly because I know what this did to my spine while it was in there. You could see on my MRI how much pressure it was causing. I don't think it will hurt any to get some adjustments done to make things go back to where they should be a little quicker. 

One month since surgery down, now I wait until June for my first scan and hopeful this will be over and done with. 

todd121 said:

Be Gentle With Yourself

I'm 4 years out from my nephrecomy and two years out from adrenalectomy.

This is very, very, very stressful. Did I say this is stressful? Having cancer has been the most stressful experience of my life.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your anxiety is through the roof. This is life or death. I get it.

Other people won't really understand and they will move on faster than you do. This is absolutely true. That's why you can come here and talk to us, because we've all been there.

I got counseling. I used the ativan when I needed it (and also tried not to resort to it too often). If you can find someone you can talk to besides a therapist, that would be very helpful. For me, I'm incredibly fortunate my ex-wife is a kind, calm, patient and understanding person who still would take my calls. I called her pretty often.

You're not crazy, but you're definitely under a lot of stress. You're also very tired. You may have some depression. Your body has had a really bad trauma. It took me months for the body to heal. Your outsides heal faster than your insides.

I suffered anxiety and depression off and on for a couple of years. Then I had a met to my adrenal gland. It was not as bad as the first tumor, but it did kick it back up again.

So, go easy on yourself. If you have concerns, talk to your doctor(s) or their nurses and tell them about it. That's what you have to do to take care of yourself.

Find ways to relax. Listen to music. Take a hot bath or shower. Meditate. If you have a hobby do that. Read. Watch comedies on TV (or dramas or whatever you can get lost in). If you believe in prayer, pray. I don't particularly, but I prayed a lot and it helped me. I can honestly say it helped even though I don't really believe myself in a personal God that hears and answers my prayers. I did it anyway, and it helped. Journal. If you have to take an ativan, do it. Try not to take them all the time if at all possible. They are addictive and you can build up a tolerance and you can have withdrawal. Some people said anti-depressants help them. I didn't try that. Exercise/walking can really help with stress if you can do it.

You will get through this.

Hugs,

Todd

I actually have not taken an Ativan since I stopped taking the pain pills. I think the residual pain I was still having was contributing to my anxiety big time. I was able to stop the pain pills once I went for a massage and my back was not in spasms anymore. Then last week I went to my chiropractor for an adjustment and it is even better. I go back to him this week. For the first time since surgery I was even able to house clean this weekend! Hubby and kids have been trying, but it felt good to get in there and do things my way. 

I did try and call a counselor I used to know, but his number now rings through to a pizza place, LOL. I am starting to finally get to a "good" place though I think. I am not going to stress about what MAY happen in the future. For now, my surgeon tells me I am cancer free, so I am going with that. I don't get my first post surgery CT scan until June, and I may be a wreck in June waiting for that, but for now I am ok. That is all I can do, and honestly this has become less all consuming. 

I think I just needed some time to heal physically, and the mental seems to be following. The stronger I feel and more I am able to do again, the better I feel about everything. I just do not like feeling helpless like I did. I'm ready to conquer the world now!