Depressed, just unloading here

JanJan63 · November 2016

beaumontdave said:
Boy this thread has covered
Boy this thread has covered some ground. Back in October last year I mentioned that my pop[88] was stopping treatment for prostate cancer and was told he had 2 or 3 months left. They did more tests and he came by after a VA appointment specifically to tell me it was now 2 to 3.......years he had left. Even though he stopped treatment himself, when told he had that much "extra" time left, you could see and feel the relief. Just after Christmas, he had a stroke which was actually the mets massing in his head, as we found out later. Ten days in hospice unconscious, then he slipped away. The point of the story is that he said he was ready to go, but still felt much better when he thought he had years left. Some folks may want a measure taken of their time left, to make plans or whatever, but I don't want anyone planting a number in my head, as Jan now has. If a doctor tries, he better lie like hell, or he's going to have a very angry patient on his hands.......................................Dave

There are always stories

There are always stories about people living long past when they should and people not living as long as they should. Rarely do they cooperate and die when the docotr says they will. Unless they only have a few months I doubt its accurate very often. I'm glad to say I'm past what she said at this point. My family doctor said a few things that made me feel better and I'll take what I can get when it comes to hope.

He reminded me that they still don't know if the spots are cancer and they never will. Unless they do a biopsy they won't be 100% sure. With being on blood thinners that wasn't an option. He said he's seen too often when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck but isn't a duck. He also said he has several patients with cancer who are alive and doing okay years after he thought they'd have passed. He said it a bit startling when he walks in a room and they're sitting there and he almost blurts out "oh! Your'e still alive!". He's in his fifties so he's been around the block a few times and he is very up to date on cancer and goes to all the seminars that are offered. he also said that there's something he sees that he can't quite put his finger on when he has a patient with cancer in their lung and I don't present that way. He said it's just a gut feeling but he doesn't think I have it. He's not a bs kind of guy and is very respected in our town. I know he's not giving me any proof of anything but if it makes me feel better and reduces my stress and hence reduces any damage to my immune system, I'll take it. It will be what it will be but I don't want to live feeling like I have a black cloud over my head.

So maybe I'm being foolish listening to him but I choose to have hope. He's given me some and that makes me happy.

Jan

Joan M · November 2016

ron50 said:
I have survived cancer for nearly 19 years.
With all that has happened to me in that time I am more afraid of living than dying. Ron.

Your survival gives me hope!

Ron,

I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulties from the treatments you recieved over the years. Your story of survival has given me hope that I can make it for 19+ years! I read your story and the fact that you are alive after such a long battle with cancer means that others can make it too. People like you move the science of curing cancer forward. I pray that you have found some happiness to give you hope to continue the battle. As I am sure you know, life can be beautiful and is worth fighting for.

You are a living miracle - Stay Strong!

God Bless you!

Joan

mokomapa · November 2016

JanJan63 said:
There are always stories
There are always stories about people living long past when they should and people not living as long as they should. Rarely do they cooperate and die when the docotr says they will. Unless they only have a few months I doubt its accurate very often. I'm glad to say I'm past what she said at this point. My family doctor said a few things that made me feel better and I'll take what I can get when it comes to hope.

He reminded me that they still don't know if the spots are cancer and they never will. Unless they do a biopsy they won't be 100% sure. With being on blood thinners that wasn't an option. He said he's seen too often when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck but isn't a duck. He also said he has several patients with cancer who are alive and doing okay years after he thought they'd have passed. He said it a bit startling when he walks in a room and they're sitting there and he almost blurts out "oh! Your'e still alive!". He's in his fifties so he's been around the block a few times and he is very up to date on cancer and goes to all the seminars that are offered. he also said that there's something he sees that he can't quite put his finger on when he has a patient with cancer in their lung and I don't present that way. He said it's just a gut feeling but he doesn't think I have it. He's not a bs kind of guy and is very respected in our town. I know he's not giving me any proof of anything but if it makes me feel better and reduces my stress and hence reduces any damage to my immune system, I'll take it. It will be what it will be but I don't want to live feeling like I have a black cloud over my head.

So maybe I'm being foolish listening to him but I choose to have hope. He's given me some and that makes me happy.

Jan

Hi Jan

I've been away from the site for a while and I was sorry to hear you have been depressed. If you remember you helped me through some tough days a couple months ago. I know how hard it can be especially when you hear something like that from your doctor. I don't believe anyone can predict what is going to happen in the next 10 years. Treatments can change, drugs changes, heck they may even have a cure for this s*#t by then. There are some wonderful people on this site and you are on of them. Enjoy every day, live life with passion, and never forget how important you are to so many people.

Tom

JanJan63 · November 2016

mokomapa said:
Hi Jan
I've been away from the site for a while and I was sorry to hear you have been depressed. If you remember you helped me through some tough days a couple months ago. I know how hard it can be especially when you hear something like that from your doctor. I don't believe anyone can predict what is going to happen in the next 10 years. Treatments can change, drugs changes, heck they may even have a cure for this s*#t by then. There are some wonderful people on this site and you are on of them. Enjoy every day, live life with passion, and never forget how important you are to so many people.

Tom

You're sweet Tom, thank you.

You're sweet Tom, thank you. Funny, I was on here last night and was wondering how you've been doing. I noticed you hadn't been on and I was hoping that you'd found a happy place, or at least someplace mentally/emotionally you can deal with. I'm pretty much over what she said at this point but it sure shook me up for a while there. It's just words but it haunts a person. And even if I only have ten years that's a lot longer than many people get. I can't complain.

Jan

beaumontdave · November 2016

JanJan63 said:
There are always stories
There are always stories about people living long past when they should and people not living as long as they should. Rarely do they cooperate and die when the docotr says they will. Unless they only have a few months I doubt its accurate very often. I'm glad to say I'm past what she said at this point. My family doctor said a few things that made me feel better and I'll take what I can get when it comes to hope.

He reminded me that they still don't know if the spots are cancer and they never will. Unless they do a biopsy they won't be 100% sure. With being on blood thinners that wasn't an option. He said he's seen too often when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck but isn't a duck. He also said he has several patients with cancer who are alive and doing okay years after he thought they'd have passed. He said it a bit startling when he walks in a room and they're sitting there and he almost blurts out "oh! Your'e still alive!". He's in his fifties so he's been around the block a few times and he is very up to date on cancer and goes to all the seminars that are offered. he also said that there's something he sees that he can't quite put his finger on when he has a patient with cancer in their lung and I don't present that way. He said it's just a gut feeling but he doesn't think I have it. He's not a bs kind of guy and is very respected in our town. I know he's not giving me any proof of anything but if it makes me feel better and reduces my stress and hence reduces any damage to my immune system, I'll take it. It will be what it will be but I don't want to live feeling like I have a black cloud over my head.

So maybe I'm being foolish listening to him but I choose to have hope. He's given me some and that makes me happy.

Jan

Hope is what we live on, I'll

Hope is what we live on, I'll take it anywhere it presents itself. There's some comfort in knowing I can't be knocked for a loop like the day I was diagnosed. I may stress on future bad news, but I'm of a different mindset now. I look things in the eye that make the unaware flinch and swerve. I'd like to say that I live unafraid, but that wouldn't be true. Moods and moments still grip me, but I know I live less afraid. Losing control is less frightening because I know I never had much,so if Life wants to show me the neat stuff, I'm up for it. If it wants to crap on me some more, fine, screw you too. I don't know if it's a totally healthy perspective, but I do find comfort in it. Optimistical cynicism?.........................................Dave

JanJan63 · November 2016

beaumontdave said:
Hope is what we live on, I'll
Hope is what we live on, I'll take it anywhere it presents itself. There's some comfort in knowing I can't be knocked for a loop like the day I was diagnosed. I may stress on future bad news, but I'm of a different mindset now. I look things in the eye that make the unaware flinch and swerve. I'd like to say that I live unafraid, but that wouldn't be true. Moods and moments still grip me, but I know I live less afraid. Losing control is less frightening because I know I never had much,so if Life wants to show me the neat stuff, I'm up for it. If it wants to crap on me some more, fine, screw you too. I don't know if it's a totally healthy perspective, but I do find comfort in it. Optimistical cynicism?.........................................Dave

I think that's a healthy

I think that's a healthy attitude Dave. We can't live in depression forever, we have to snap out of it eventually unless we actually have real depression which is another matter entirely. Yes, sometimes I'm sad or angry. I find that I'll see someone who really does abuse their body and seems fine and I feel a flare of resentment. But they'll pay the piper eventually. Nobody gets out alive.

I find that I look at my husband and I feel a bit put out. I love him and certainly don't want to see him sick but he eats crap and smokes and he's never sick. Not even if a virus or flu goes around. What the heck? It would be nice if he could just get good and sick once in a while so he could sympathize more with how I feel. He sympathizes but doesn't really get it and sometimes he'll get annoyed with me. Then I tell him the only thing worse than having to live with someone who has limitations because of their health is being the person with the limitations.

Anyway Dave, good for you for your attitude.

Jan

mokomapa · November 2016

JanJan63 said:
You're sweet Tom, thank you.
You're sweet Tom, thank you. Funny, I was on here last night and was wondering how you've been doing. I noticed you hadn't been on and I was hoping that you'd found a happy place, or at least someplace mentally/emotionally you can deal with. I'm pretty much over what she said at this point but it sure shook me up for a while there. It's just words but it haunts a person. And even if I only have ten years that's a lot longer than many people get. I can't complain.

Jan

Glad to hear

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better. I'm doing well, thanks for thinking of me. Just trying to keep busy and not to let those negative thoughts creep into my head. Lets just realize that we all have times like that but it will always get better. Keep strong, enjoy life, and be happy!

Tom

Depressed, just unloading here

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