How do you....

Heyker
Heyker Member Posts: 36

Hi all!

I've scheduled my first 3 month post op for the end of this month. I'm already in knots. How do you handle the emotional side of having checkups every 3 months? I'm doing OK physically but emotionally I'm afraid to plan anything long term. 

Kerry

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Comments

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    edited September 2016 #2
    I try to stay optimistic but

    I try to stay optimistic but it's difficult. Honestly, I don't think my life will ever be the same as it was B.C. (before cancer) when I didn't interpret every little thing as OMG it must be mets. I go every six months, not three, and my next check up is next month, and I do stress over it already, no matter how futile that is. I know that at stage 1 I'm so much more fortunate than others with more advanced stages but I take nothing for granted. This is a sneaky disease and can come back at anytime, to anyone, regardless of stage or grade. I'm hoping once I'm past the "magic 3 years" my anxiety will lessen. Wishing you all the very best with your check up and just know you're not alone in being anxious.

  • rhominator
    rhominator Member Posts: 233 Member
    Don't Worry

    Hi Kerry, I have monthly checkups and 4-6 month scans, and frankly, I look forward to them.  It helps, I guess, that I have doctors that I really enjoy seeing. And my wife accompanies me on every visit, which, I think, really helps lighten the load. 

    One thing I've learned is that I've never successfully self-diagnosed any of my symptoms. It's kind of amusing: if I feel bad, my labs are "great!"; if I feel especially good, then something's wrong.  So I just relax and go with the flow. When I'm in the "scanner" I just pretend I'm in a spaceship (childhood fantasy).

    Relax, with a good perspective, there's more good news than bad.  Go ahead and make your long term plans.

  • Kangaroorex
    Kangaroorex Member Posts: 47 Member
    patience

    To be honest I try and forget about the fact until its right on top of me.  I do my best to find things that keep me busy and occupy a lot of brain space, particularly in that time between when the scan is taken and when the result is given.  I used to be on a trial and I would get a scan and have the results that afternoon.  Now its 5 days between when i am scanned and when I get the report, by that point everyone that i have ever known has been talked to and every report I can do for work is up to date.  Then I get the results and return to a near normal life again.

    Thats my coping mechanism.  It helps me through the rough spots

    Roo

  • Rob57
    Rob57 Member Posts: 25
    edited September 2016 #5
    Just Focus on Now

    I went for yearly checkups after my nephrectomy. First year was fine, second year the CT scan showed something in a lymph node in my chest. That was distressing. I had not even seen an oncologist up to that point. Found a good oncologist, and scheduled a biopsy with a thorasic surgeon. The thorasic surgeon went in and took two samples for biopsy. Both were negative, but he said that it looked bad to him and that we should get it treated. Had another scan at 2 months after the first and it showed growth. Then went to a radiological oncologist and she scheduled radiation therapy over a 3 week period. Had the radiation, went to Barcelona with my wife and about three months later had another scan that showed significant reduction in the tumor. Started on Votrient about a month after that and have been on Votrient for about 18 months. I have had scans every three months since the radiation therapy the last one being just about three weeks ago. The tumor has continued to shrink and is stable. My oncologist and I decided to go for four months before the next scan. If there is no change will go to six months. 

    I know that it is stressful having the scans so often, but it is better to know what is going on and be able to take the necessary actions to keep progressing in your treatment. The worst thing for me personnaly is not knowing what is going on with my condition. I would rather have all of the information that I can get so that I can deal with facts and not my imagination. 

    I know that this whole experience is stressful for you. The only advice I can give is try to live for today and plan for the future based on what you know to be true, not what you fear may be true.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that your results are good.

  • rhominator
    rhominator Member Posts: 233 Member
    edited September 2016 #6
    Rob57 said:

    Just Focus on Now

    I went for yearly checkups after my nephrectomy. First year was fine, second year the CT scan showed something in a lymph node in my chest. That was distressing. I had not even seen an oncologist up to that point. Found a good oncologist, and scheduled a biopsy with a thorasic surgeon. The thorasic surgeon went in and took two samples for biopsy. Both were negative, but he said that it looked bad to him and that we should get it treated. Had another scan at 2 months after the first and it showed growth. Then went to a radiological oncologist and she scheduled radiation therapy over a 3 week period. Had the radiation, went to Barcelona with my wife and about three months later had another scan that showed significant reduction in the tumor. Started on Votrient about a month after that and have been on Votrient for about 18 months. I have had scans every three months since the radiation therapy the last one being just about three weeks ago. The tumor has continued to shrink and is stable. My oncologist and I decided to go for four months before the next scan. If there is no change will go to six months. 

    I know that it is stressful having the scans so often, but it is better to know what is going on and be able to take the necessary actions to keep progressing in your treatment. The worst thing for me personnaly is not knowing what is going on with my condition. I would rather have all of the information that I can get so that I can deal with facts and not my imagination. 

    I know that this whole experience is stressful for you. The only advice I can give is try to live for today and plan for the future based on what you know to be true, not what you fear may be true.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that your results are good.

    Good advice from Rob57

    "... try to live for today and plan for the future based on what you know to be true, not what you fear may be true."

    -- Nice!

  • Dutch1
    Dutch1 Member Posts: 152
    edited September 2016 #7
    Gets somewhat easier as time goes by

    My cancer is somewhat under control.  While we fret over the quarterly scans, they have become less stressful.  At the start, everything is crazy.  As things settle in, confidence is gained such that you may even get to the point of expecting good scan results.  Give it time.  Worry is normal.  If you are blessed with a couple of fairly good reports, the anxiousness diminishes somewhat.  I hope that your worry level goes down over time.  I agree with the comments of the others which have preceeded mine. 

    Best wishes.

    Dutch

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    edited September 2016 #8
    hope you are ned forever

    First it's 1 appt. Then another. A test here and there. Few hospitalizations. Radiation.Change of drugs and different side effects. Who has time to worry? 5 1/2 years of  looking forward to being here because of all the medical visits. One thing for sure is that you will be watched carefully. You will also become your own advocate. And lastly you will learn more about stuff you wished you didn't have to know. About yourself. And life goes on.

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    edited September 2016 #9
    foxhd said:

    hope you are ned forever

    First it's 1 appt. Then another. A test here and there. Few hospitalizations. Radiation.Change of drugs and different side effects. Who has time to worry? 5 1/2 years of  looking forward to being here because of all the medical visits. One thing for sure is that you will be watched carefully. You will also become your own advocate. And lastly you will learn more about stuff you wished you didn't have to know. About yourself. And life goes on.

    What suits me

    Is to try to stay in the now, sufficient to the day are the trials thereof etc. In reality I try to approach everything with equanimity. Good news or bad news its all the same, and I try not to let it effect me too much either way. As Fox says, who has time to worry, I would add who has time to hope. Life goes on.

  • Kangaroorex
    Kangaroorex Member Posts: 47 Member

    Good advice from Rob57

    "... try to live for today and plan for the future based on what you know to be true, not what you fear may be true."

    -- Nice!

    quoted for truth

    I cant think of a better reason for knowing.  And the high when you do get good news is usually worth it! :)

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    We understand. My belief is

    We understand. My belief is what does worrying gain us? Not knowing is unpleasant to say the least. Do you know the words of the Serenity prayer/poem?

    (God) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Use your faith, no matter what they may be, in your doctors, in science, in your religious beliefs if you choose, your family and us. WE will walk along side you through out this journey, if you choose us.

    Sending you calm and serenity so you can enJOY each and every day we are given.

    Warmly, Jan

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    edited September 2016 #12

    What suits me

    Is to try to stay in the now, sufficient to the day are the trials thereof etc. In reality I try to approach everything with equanimity. Good news or bad news its all the same, and I try not to let it effect me too much either way. As Fox says, who has time to worry, I would add who has time to hope. Life goes on.

    I should also add

    That I dont sleep a WINK in the week before a scan. I also dream that my cancer is a very disruptive student in my class who wont shut up, sit down,do his work, let anyone else do any work, let me speak, or leave. And no one come to help. Sometimes he resembles an actual student sometimes a very big burger.

    I have the worlds least subtle subconscious.

    What was so special about Freud anyway?

  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    edited September 2016 #13
    It is stressful, to be sure

    Don't allow it take over your every thought.  Most likely it will be a visit from NED.  In the event something awful is found, it will have been found early and like your first experience with cancer, you will find a way to deal with it.

    If you get too overwhelmed, try xanax.....helps me a ton during those times.  Also, I read an article that these feelings are not so unusual for cancer survivors, so you are not alone.  That helped me a lot to realize I am not alone in my thoughts.  I think as time goes by, it does get a bit easier too Kerry.  Keep us posted on your results.

    Donna~

    P.S.  Can you please enter your profile, it would be nice to see your history.  Thanx!

  • Heyker
    Heyker Member Posts: 36
    hardo718 said:

    It is stressful, to be sure

    Don't allow it take over your every thought.  Most likely it will be a visit from NED.  In the event something awful is found, it will have been found early and like your first experience with cancer, you will find a way to deal with it.

    If you get too overwhelmed, try xanax.....helps me a ton during those times.  Also, I read an article that these feelings are not so unusual for cancer survivors, so you are not alone.  That helped me a lot to realize I am not alone in my thoughts.  I think as time goes by, it does get a bit easier too Kerry.  Keep us posted on your results.

    Donna~

    P.S.  Can you please enter your profile, it would be nice to see your history.  Thanx!

    Profile

    I entered my profile. 

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    edited September 2016 #15
    Heyker said:

    Profile

    I entered my profile. 

    Thanks

    Makes everthing a lot easier

  • mrou50
    mrou50 Member Posts: 389 Member
    edited September 2016 #16
    How do I?

    I try not to think about it, I just live my life day to day and enjoy each moment the check ups will take care of themselves one way or another no amount of worrying will change the outcome, so I guess just try to enjoy your life.

    Mark

  • LauraM3
    LauraM3 Member Posts: 27
    Rob57 said:

    Just Focus on Now

    I went for yearly checkups after my nephrectomy. First year was fine, second year the CT scan showed something in a lymph node in my chest. That was distressing. I had not even seen an oncologist up to that point. Found a good oncologist, and scheduled a biopsy with a thorasic surgeon. The thorasic surgeon went in and took two samples for biopsy. Both were negative, but he said that it looked bad to him and that we should get it treated. Had another scan at 2 months after the first and it showed growth. Then went to a radiological oncologist and she scheduled radiation therapy over a 3 week period. Had the radiation, went to Barcelona with my wife and about three months later had another scan that showed significant reduction in the tumor. Started on Votrient about a month after that and have been on Votrient for about 18 months. I have had scans every three months since the radiation therapy the last one being just about three weeks ago. The tumor has continued to shrink and is stable. My oncologist and I decided to go for four months before the next scan. If there is no change will go to six months. 

    I know that it is stressful having the scans so often, but it is better to know what is going on and be able to take the necessary actions to keep progressing in your treatment. The worst thing for me personnaly is not knowing what is going on with my condition. I would rather have all of the information that I can get so that I can deal with facts and not my imagination. 

    I know that this whole experience is stressful for you. The only advice I can give is try to live for today and plan for the future based on what you know to be true, not what you fear may be true.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that your results are good.

    I needed to read this

    My scans are coming up in October and I am on Votrient.  Praying for a good report. :D

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    Not alone

    Kerry,

    I like Donna's (and others') comments on how you're "not alone." That's for sure!

    On the plus side, having a scan every three months means you have a great reason not to say YES when the local animal rescue group asks you to please consider fostering 47 feral cats for six to nine months.  Also on the plus side, having a scan every three months is a great reason / excuse to plan something really nice for yourself (or for you and yours) that's going to happen the month or so after your scan, on your 6 month anniversaries, and on your annual anniversaries. 

    Jerzy

  • Heyker
    Heyker Member Posts: 36
    I appreciate everyone's comments

    I've decided to go see a counselor since I have previous diagnosis of ptsd and anxiety. I don't want to be a mess every 3 months and want to learn early how to cope with this. I may never have anything else happen but I want to feel as normal as possible for me and my family. 

  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    That's awesome Kerry

    And maybe the wisdom you gain can be of use to the rest of us.  :-)

    Best wishes to you,

    Donna~

  • Teashea
    Teashea Member Posts: 89 Member
    One day at a time

    I do my best to take this one day at a time. It is all I can handle. Most of my stress comes from getting the IV for the tests. Strange, I know but I am a "hard stick". Every 3 months for me. Hey, Praying for good results for you.