Shout out for the dilators!

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Comments

  • Charissa
    Charissa Member Posts: 129 Member
    edited June 2016 #22
    Hi Cindi,

    Hi Cindi,

    I think the radiologists main concern is, IF I were to be the 1% to get even a slight bit of stenosis he said he couldn't radiate that area again. Sadly, he does get those 1% back. He further explained, he has seen 100% success with warding off stenosis in women who are diligent in using it daily for five minutes (with the exception of the days with intercourse).

    Do you have to keep yours in longer, if only doing it twice a week? How and where is the best place to do it? I read something about the shower.  But, I'd think it would fall out - maybe a good time to work on our kegles. ;)  I wonder if it's better to lie down in bed for those five minutes? Did you by chance use yours before finishing your brachytherapy? I thought I read someone had used it in between treatments. I'm sure the radiologist will explain more, when I get to that point. But, I love that you guys have it more figured out then some of these doctor's offices. Such a blessing! And, I kind of like to mull over the information provided on here, do internet research, place my orders, and be ready to go, when the time arises.

    Love and hugs back atcha!

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    Charissa

    Good Morning!

    My instructions say to keep the dialator in place for 5-10 minutes 2-3 times per week. My radiologist said 2 times is enough. I do keep it in place for the full 10 minutes. By the way, the nurse told me to move it around a bit and don't just 'stick it in' to make sure I get the sides as well. For me, laying down watching television is the best. It helps make time pass by faster and is easier to make sure I move it around.

    I did not use mine until two weeks post the brachytherapy. They wanted to make sure everything was healed first.

    You will find out what works best for you as you go along. Who knows?... Since you are doing this daily, the shower might be the easiest place for you. :-)  I agree, this forum is wonderful. I can't imagine going through this journey without all of the support and sharing that we give and receive here.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    That shower thing did not

    That shower thing did not work for me.  I tried it once, but everything was just so awkward.  I do it on the bed and either do it after my shower or as part of my getting ready for sleep routine.  I also use it at least 3 times a week for 10 minutes, and I move it around, too.  Occasionally, I use a vibrator instead, just for a little variety.  I actually started using mine before brachytherapy as I was already experiencing some stenosis from surgery.  When I had my exam in May, my gyn/onc said I was a doing a good job with the dilator as he could see everything.  And it certainly was a much more comfortable exam than the one I had in October.  

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,353 Member
    Chris, it is funny to have

    Chris, it is funny to have the doctors say, "I can tell you are using the dialator".  Ha!  Yeah...well?????  

    When I recommended my dear friend to use it every day her doctor said those very same words to her as well. 

  • Charissa
    Charissa Member Posts: 129 Member
    You guys are the greatest! I

    You guys are the greatest! I'm trying to envision myself doing this daily - when and what time of day, with little to no privacy with home schooling my daughters. I was talking about it with my hubby. He gladly pipes in, "I will be happy to do it for you every day!" Really? How sweet. This man has a one-track mind. Lol! I dare not tell him I don't have to use it the days we have intercourse - he'll want to do it every day.

    Sadly, without being able to continue my hormone therapy and no longer having all my female parts, I'm a little hesitant to go there. His reply to me after asking if he was a little nervous, "Are you kidding me! I'm checking off the days on the calendar." Yikes! Maybe, I better start using the dilator now, before the five treatments end, to get things working again. Oh, this is scary. He's 51 years old and doing hormone therapy, which makes him sexually like an 18 year old again. Not sure how this is going to work? Breathe...one day at a time.

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    Charissa said:

    You guys are the greatest! I

    You guys are the greatest! I'm trying to envision myself doing this daily - when and what time of day, with little to no privacy with home schooling my daughters. I was talking about it with my hubby. He gladly pipes in, "I will be happy to do it for you every day!" Really? How sweet. This man has a one-track mind. Lol! I dare not tell him I don't have to use it the days we have intercourse - he'll want to do it every day.

    Sadly, without being able to continue my hormone therapy and no longer having all my female parts, I'm a little hesitant to go there. His reply to me after asking if he was a little nervous, "Are you kidding me! I'm checking off the days on the calendar." Yikes! Maybe, I better start using the dilator now, before the five treatments end, to get things working again. Oh, this is scary. He's 51 years old and doing hormone therapy, which makes him sexually like an 18 year old again. Not sure how this is going to work? Breathe...one day at a time.

    Charissa, Yep, take a breath.

    Charissa, Yep, take a breath. That first time after surgery is very scary. My best advice is to use a lot of lubricant. I have heard Astroglide works well. I haven't tried it yet. Still using up my KY Jelly first. (Use it on both of you!) Take it slow and easy to see how your body will react. For me, I had issues with painful intercourse before all of this happened. It has actually gotten better since my treatments. My radiologist gave me lidocaine that doesn't burn that I use before sex and it has made a world of difference for me.

    If all else fails... switch out his hormones with a placebo! Just kidding, well maybe.... lol

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Kvdyson
    Kvdyson Member Posts: 789
    Charissa said:

    You guys are the greatest! I

    You guys are the greatest! I'm trying to envision myself doing this daily - when and what time of day, with little to no privacy with home schooling my daughters. I was talking about it with my hubby. He gladly pipes in, "I will be happy to do it for you every day!" Really? How sweet. This man has a one-track mind. Lol! I dare not tell him I don't have to use it the days we have intercourse - he'll want to do it every day.

    Sadly, without being able to continue my hormone therapy and no longer having all my female parts, I'm a little hesitant to go there. His reply to me after asking if he was a little nervous, "Are you kidding me! I'm checking off the days on the calendar." Yikes! Maybe, I better start using the dilator now, before the five treatments end, to get things working again. Oh, this is scary. He's 51 years old and doing hormone therapy, which makes him sexually like an 18 year old again. Not sure how this is going to work? Breathe...one day at a time.

    The first time after surgery

    Hi Charissa, my husband and I were careful the first time after surgery and all went fine. I stayed on top so was able to control the entire process - speed, depth, etc. Lubricants definitely help. We've used many different types of paraben-free types - even organic coconut oil! Now we're back to being less careful and more spontaneous. It's joyous and has helped us get back to feeling normal again. Good luck to you!

  • Charissa
    Charissa Member Posts: 129 Member

    Charissa, Yep, take a breath.

    Charissa, Yep, take a breath. That first time after surgery is very scary. My best advice is to use a lot of lubricant. I have heard Astroglide works well. I haven't tried it yet. Still using up my KY Jelly first. (Use it on both of you!) Take it slow and easy to see how your body will react. For me, I had issues with painful intercourse before all of this happened. It has actually gotten better since my treatments. My radiologist gave me lidocaine that doesn't burn that I use before sex and it has made a world of difference for me.

    If all else fails... switch out his hormones with a placebo! Just kidding, well maybe.... lol

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

    You are comical!! Not a bad

    You are comical!! Not a bad idea. Lol!!

    How reassuring that you, too, had pain during intercourse prior to all of this. The same for me. It was actually nice after I delivered our daughters vaginally. Things loosened up a little. KY has been a friend of ours for 26 years. ;) I know he will be patient and kind. I'm just a little nervous, to say the least. I have three more weeks, before I will know.  Thank you, for your wisdom and encouragement.

  • Charissa
    Charissa Member Posts: 129 Member
    Kvdyson said:

    The first time after surgery

    Hi Charissa, my husband and I were careful the first time after surgery and all went fine. I stayed on top so was able to control the entire process - speed, depth, etc. Lubricants definitely help. We've used many different types of paraben-free types - even organic coconut oil! Now we're back to being less careful and more spontaneous. It's joyous and has helped us get back to feeling normal again. Good luck to you!

    Yay, Kim. That gives me much

    Yay, Kim. That gives me much hope. I purchased a natural lubricant yesterday from the health food store. I also have my cool cones in the fridge for when I'm done with brachytherapy, which I'm not enjoying. In fact, I need to start a new discussion to get some answers regarding that treatment.

    I find myself thinking of all of you throughout my day. Sadly, my days get so busy, caring for everyday household, health, and life responsibilities, I don't get a chance to get on here often. He just asked, "What time are you going to bed tonight?"  My reply, "After I read and chat with my on-line CSN friends."

    Love and hugs!

  • christine8822
    christine8822 Member Posts: 40 Member
    Good stuff

    After about 4 months of using the dumb plastic dialiator from the doctor, it did not help and sex with my husband was still raw and painful. So i got my courage up and went to Lovers Lane, a store that sells sex toys, and explained to the clerk what was going on . She could not have been nicer. She sold me a vibrator with ridges in it that is a lot more realistic, called Fun Factory Tiger. Even better she sold me the water-based lubricant called Sliquid Organics, which is a godsend. I began using the vibrator on its lowest setting and right away noticed a huge improvement in the condition of the labia and inside the vaginal canal. It also MUCH improved my sex life with my husband because sex did not hurt either one of us, we could use the Sliquid during sex, and he was flattered that I didn't just give up on our sex life but took steps to save it. We have lost so much this past year and he has sacrificed, too, and intimacy is so important. My idea is, do whatever you need to do to keep your vaginal canal healthy. You will feel so much better. I think you can buy Fun Factory vibrators and Sliquid online, or just go to a store and buy something. You will be happy you tried it. And throw away those dumb plastic white stick things. It also sounds from this board that the cool cones also work. Good luck, ladies!

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member

    Good stuff

    After about 4 months of using the dumb plastic dialiator from the doctor, it did not help and sex with my husband was still raw and painful. So i got my courage up and went to Lovers Lane, a store that sells sex toys, and explained to the clerk what was going on . She could not have been nicer. She sold me a vibrator with ridges in it that is a lot more realistic, called Fun Factory Tiger. Even better she sold me the water-based lubricant called Sliquid Organics, which is a godsend. I began using the vibrator on its lowest setting and right away noticed a huge improvement in the condition of the labia and inside the vaginal canal. It also MUCH improved my sex life with my husband because sex did not hurt either one of us, we could use the Sliquid during sex, and he was flattered that I didn't just give up on our sex life but took steps to save it. We have lost so much this past year and he has sacrificed, too, and intimacy is so important. My idea is, do whatever you need to do to keep your vaginal canal healthy. You will feel so much better. I think you can buy Fun Factory vibrators and Sliquid online, or just go to a store and buy something. You will be happy you tried it. And throw away those dumb plastic white stick things. It also sounds from this board that the cool cones also work. Good luck, ladies!

    Thanks for the tip!

    Dilator seems to be working as far as depth goes, but need something a bit more realistic now.  Even my vibrator is a bit too small, so I will definitely check this out.

  • Charissa
    Charissa Member Posts: 129 Member
    Thank you, Christine. I will

    Thank you, Christine. I will look into these two items. It's so wonderful we all have a safe place to come and discuss ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. We each have wisdom to share that can be an encouragement to another.

    P.S. Those white, hard, missles they call dialators just don't seem appealing. I, too, think I would prefer something a little more life-like - in between the real thing. ;)

  • brissance
    brissance Member Posts: 192
    edited July 2016 #34
    Missle

    I nicknamed mine Pinocchio...  

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    edited July 2016 #35
    brissance said:

    Missle

    I nicknamed mine Pinocchio...  

    hahaha

    I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about lies and growing lol.

     

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,677 Member
    edited July 2016 #36
    Snicker

    giggle

  • brissance
    brissance Member Posts: 192
    Editgrl said:

    hahaha

    I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about lies and growing lol.

     

    Almost

    More on his aspirations....  :)  Now I am getting way too naughty.  Sorry

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    Too funny! Tell him sometimes

    Too funny! Tell him sometimes smaller is better these days!!!!!

    By the way, my dialator is pink not white. Missle is a great description of the shape.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi