What are the odds and when will i know?

I'm still numb, so my thoughts may wander. I'm three yrs post menopause and and a few weeks ago I woke up to heavy bleeding. I called my GYN  and was given an appointment. Of course I'm convinced the news will be the worse. I went to my appointment and am now scheduled for an ultrasound and biopsy Nov 30th.  I haven't shared anything with anyone yet; my husband and oldest son's birthdays are the week of Thanksgiving. I want one last normal  family holiday, just in case. I feel like I can hardly breathe. I suffer from extreme clostraphobia and an undescriable fear of not being in control, which is why I avoid at all cost being sedated. I found a little peace knowing I will  be awake for the biopsy, but am paralyzed by the fear of the diagnosis. Am I wrong to think I should brace myself for what feels like the inevitable?

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Comments

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,482 Member
    (((Jamie)))  Try to remember

    (((Jamie)))  Try to remember that most post-menopausal bleeding is NOT cancer.  Of course, the women on this page do have cancer - otherwise we wouldn't be here.

    The fear of the unknown is a powerful fear and I don't blame you for not telling your family.  I did the same thing - why worry them if it could be a hormone or thyroid problem?  

    I don't think it's wrong to brace yourself.....up to a point, but I certainly wouldn't consider a cancer diagnosis as inevitable.  Try to enjoy Thanksgiving with your family!  If it is cancer, you probably caught it very early and your prognosis is excellent.

    Take care,

    Eldri

  • JamieL59
    JamieL59 Member Posts: 13

    (((Jamie)))  Try to remember

    (((Jamie)))  Try to remember that most post-menopausal bleeding is NOT cancer.  Of course, the women on this page do have cancer - otherwise we wouldn't be here.

    The fear of the unknown is a powerful fear and I don't blame you for not telling your family.  I did the same thing - why worry them if it could be a hormone or thyroid problem?  

    I don't think it's wrong to brace yourself.....up to a point, but I certainly wouldn't consider a cancer diagnosis as inevitable.  Try to enjoy Thanksgiving with your family!  If it is cancer, you probably caught it very early and your prognosis is excellent.

    Take care,

    Eldri

     Thank you for your

     Thank you for your encouraging words. Lab results came back today for thyroid and hormone levels...everything was normal so I guess that rules out those being the problem. Do you think I need someone to go with me to the biopsy? Guess I am wondering if I should expect any information at the time of the biopsy and should anticipate a meltdown.  

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,360 Member
    JamieL59 said:

     Thank you for your

     Thank you for your encouraging words. Lab results came back today for thyroid and hormone levels...everything was normal so I guess that rules out those being the problem. Do you think I need someone to go with me to the biopsy? Guess I am wondering if I should expect any information at the time of the biopsy and should anticipate a meltdown.  

    Jamie, I am sorry you have

    Jamie, I am sorry you have had to find us, but try to take a breath.  

    They will not tell you anything at the time of the biopsy.  They will send it out for testing and those results take 4 - 10 days.  I was knocked out for my D&C so I had to have someone with me, and I realize your fear, but having someone go with you will give you someone to talk to and try to relax prior to going in.  

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member
    Don't go alone

    Dear Jamie:

    If you haven't shared this with your husband, I think you should.    Whether this is simply a benign condition or something else, you should have someone with you.   If not, the fear can just overwhelm you and you won't be able to enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday anyway.    The waiting is the hardest.  Waiting to get tests, waiting for results.    So you need someone you can talk to.  

    My best to you,

    Kathy

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    Kaleena said:

    Don't go alone

    Dear Jamie:

    If you haven't shared this with your husband, I think you should.    Whether this is simply a benign condition or something else, you should have someone with you.   If not, the fear can just overwhelm you and you won't be able to enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday anyway.    The waiting is the hardest.  Waiting to get tests, waiting for results.    So you need someone you can talk to.  

    My best to you,

    Kathy

    Jamie, I agree with the other

    Jamie, I agree with the other ladies. Please don't go alone. You need a soft place to land and having someone that you trust with you will provide that.

    I was diagnosed in May of this year. And, I can tell you, the waiting is the hardest part. Once you know what you are dealing with, you will get a plan in place that you will execute. Your own strength will surprise you.

    Please take the time to read the posts on this board. There is a wealth of information with many strong women that are living full lives after the cancer beast hit them.

    Come back with any and all questions. Someone here has most likely experienced it ahead of you.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • pinky104
    pinky104 Member Posts: 574 Member
    JamieL59

    I would say you definitely should have someone go with you.  I can't tell you how many times I haven't remembered something that the person who came with me did.  I was so nervous that I was focusing on "poor me" when I should have listened more carefully to what was being said.  There is always a lot of information to process at these appointments. 

    The longer you put off telling your relatives, the harder it will get for you to do it.  You need their support NOW.  I doubt there is one person on this site who wasn't really scared like you are.  You have to just take it one step at a time.  I've had surgeries where I'm still conscious and others where I've had general anesthesia.  The nurses give you IV's to partially sedate you either way.  I never knew when the mask was put over my face to put me "out" with the general anesthesia, and I've had that a couple of times.  I was already asleep both times.  If that's what's bothering your claustrophobia, there's no reason to worry about that at all ( unless you're a redhead).  I've learned that redheads require extra anesthesia.  I actually prefer being totally "out" as I felt nothing.  I had a colonoscopy once where I was partially conscious and I remember pushing the nurse's hand out of the way when she was pushing too hard on my belly and it hurt. 

    I was so nervous about my cancer surgery after I read my CT scan report that I had heart palpitations for 3 days before surgery.  My gyn/onc had to call in a cardiologist to make sure it was safe to operate on me the day of surgery.  And my sister, a nurse, came along and recommended to my gyn/onc that I have my gallbladder out that day, too, so I didn't need another surgery later (my CT scan had shown multiple gallstones). My gyn/onc, a very busy man, hadn't read my report until the day he was to operate on me.  I had gone to the hospital that day expecting robotic surgery.  In an hour from when I got there, I found out I was having major surgery without the robot and having the cancer removed, the gallbladder removed, and my appendix removed (just for good measure).  My gyn/onc found a gastroenterologist who did the GI part, so I had two surgeons, one I'd never even met before.  Talk about a day from Hell!  I was in the hospital for 6 days and had to have a transfusion of two units of blood because I'd lost so much.  I was stage IVb.

    I think you're right to brace yourself for the worst.  When you expect the worst, things can either be what you expect or they can be better.  You'll feel so much stronger when you get through all this.  Don't think too far ahead.  Sometimes it's good not to be in control.  After all, how would you cure yourself if you are found to have cancer?  You have to rely on someone with the expertise to fix you.  I'm five years out now and I never expected to make it this far with stage IVb. Maybe you can ask for a prescription for some anti-anxiety meds to help you get through this.  Don't be so hard on yourself for your fear.  Believe me, fear is normal when you hear you have cancer. 

    I wish you peace. 

     

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    I am hugging tight tight tight,hope you can imagine getting it.

    The replies are all on point and smart ,I have nothing smarter to add,  just take deep breaths and hold them for a while ,it locks out the uncoming anxiety attack,  soon you will master this, no doubt at all  life is fixing to be stormy but you will be ok ,In a few months you will be telling a newby the same thing,if you belong here after the scans, you'll see . we get through and pass it with time .Gather courage and keep it.

    Your panic is understandable, I am sorry it is happening.Don't jump the gun dear ,it could be any of the many female things we get. Showers of comforting blessings , my wish for you today.

    Nuff love Moli.

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,360 Member
    Hugs, Jamie.  You are not

    Hugs, Jamie.  You are not alone.  Please know there are people out here in this world-wide-web that can help as well. 

  • JamieL59
    JamieL59 Member Posts: 13
    My mind cant wrap around this

    First of all, i really appreciate all the comments; i read them over and over again, trying to find that courage you speak of. I would like to know though if any of you felt pretty good, minus old age aches, before your diagnosis and so therefore it came as a complete shock?

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    My mind cant wrap around this

    First of all, i really appreciate all the comments; i read them over and over again, trying to find that courage you speak of. I would like to know though if any of you felt pretty good, minus old age aches, before your diagnosis and so therefore it came as a complete shock?

    Yes, indeed!

    Jamie, I felt great prior to my diagnosis and except for a single bit of pink spotting, I had no symptoms.  I was cycling 3-4 times a week and dancing a couple of times a week, working in the yard and considered myself in excellent shape.  To say it came as a shock is an understatement. My OB/GYN and I were both stunned.  

    Should it turn out that you do have cancer, and there are many other conditions that can cause vaginal bleeding, you will find that you are stronger than you think.  I totally sympathize with what you are feeling now.  The waiting to find out can be agonizing and fear of the unknown can be overpowering.  But, between now and the 30th and the days beyond, try to do things that you enjoy to take your mind off what may or may not lie ahead.  There is no harm in practicing the art of distraction and I would enlist your husband to help you with that.

    Thinking of you,

    Chris

     

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    My mind cant wrap around this

    First of all, i really appreciate all the comments; i read them over and over again, trying to find that courage you speak of. I would like to know though if any of you felt pretty good, minus old age aches, before your diagnosis and so therefore it came as a complete shock?

    Felt great

    Very seldom sick..  Didn't even have many colds.  I had no symtoms.  I went to my GP with what i thought was a yeast infection ( Ihad never had one before).  It was a yeast infection, But he saw a small spot on my cervix..  the next two weeks are still a blur as things moved very fast.  Turns out It was Endometrial cancer that had already spread down to my cervix.  That was 3 years ago and I am still here.  I have many more good days that bad.

    Everyone is different    What ever happens, you will find you have unbeleivable strength.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,678 Member
    Lou Ann M said:

    Felt great

    Very seldom sick..  Didn't even have many colds.  I had no symtoms.  I went to my GP with what i thought was a yeast infection ( Ihad never had one before).  It was a yeast infection, But he saw a small spot on my cervix..  the next two weeks are still a blur as things moved very fast.  Turns out It was Endometrial cancer that had already spread down to my cervix.  That was 3 years ago and I am still here.  I have many more good days that bad.

    Everyone is different    What ever happens, you will find you have unbeleivable strength.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    Me, too

    i have a bit of arthritis but otherwise completely healthy and don't take any prescriptions.

     

  • Abbycat2
    Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644 Member
    Lou Ann M said:

    Felt great

    Very seldom sick..  Didn't even have many colds.  I had no symtoms.  I went to my GP with what i thought was a yeast infection ( Ihad never had one before).  It was a yeast infection, But he saw a small spot on my cervix..  the next two weeks are still a blur as things moved very fast.  Turns out It was Endometrial cancer that had already spread down to my cervix.  That was 3 years ago and I am still here.  I have many more good days that bad.

    Everyone is different    What ever happens, you will find you have unbeleivable strength.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    Jamie, I have been athletic

    most of my life and even had the opportunity to train for the 1968 swimming Olympic try outs. You can be vibrantly healthy, slender and fit and still get cancer, just like I did. There is no rhyme or reason to what may happen to anyone. The fact that you have had menopausal bleeding does not automatically mean you have cancer. You may have polyps. Also, as much as 90% of uterine cancer is the slow growing garden variety type called endometriod. This type is most frequently a grade 1 cancer and curable although more rarely it can be a grade 3 cancer. When I met with my gynecologic oncologist the first time- 10/17/13 - he did a uterine biopsy in his office. It scared me that he would do this without anesthesia in his office. Well, I was surprised by how painless it was! 

    Don't let this ruin your holidays. Celebrate your husband and son's birthdays. I will be celebrating mine on 11/29/15.

    Warm wishes to you! I hope all will be well with you, too!

    Cathy

     

     

  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    Abbycat2 said:

    Jamie, I have been athletic

    most of my life and even had the opportunity to train for the 1968 swimming Olympic try outs. You can be vibrantly healthy, slender and fit and still get cancer, just like I did. There is no rhyme or reason to what may happen to anyone. The fact that you have had menopausal bleeding does not automatically mean you have cancer. You may have polyps. Also, as much as 90% of uterine cancer is the slow growing garden variety type called endometriod. This type is most frequently a grade 1 cancer and curable although more rarely it can be a grade 3 cancer. When I met with my gynecologic oncologist the first time- 10/17/13 - he did a uterine biopsy in his office. It scared me that he would do this without anesthesia in his office. Well, I was surprised by how painless it was! 

    Don't let this ruin your holidays. Celebrate your husband and son's birthdays. I will be celebrating mine on 11/29/15.

    Warm wishes to you! I hope all will be well with you, too!

    Cathy

     

     

    It never crossed my mind

    that I should take anyone with me for diagnostic testing.  I did tell my husband what was going on tho.  As most of you know, I was diagnosed with 2 primary cancers, so I had a bit of testing to do.  It just never entered this old brain that I would take anyone with me.  So I had a pelvic ultrasound first (which I put off because I just didn't "get it" that it was important).  In fact, I was being efficient and I scheduled my (then routine) mammogram to follow so I wouldn't have to make 2 trips.  So I had the US done, and had the mammo.  Went home and got callbacks on both.  I still didn't get it!!  I had had endometrial biopsies done previously and I knew what to expect and went prepared to talk about having a prophylactic hysterectomy because I didn't want any more biopsies.  I had the biopsy and then went shopping, still not worrying about a thing.  Afterall, previous biopsies had always been fine.  I went back for my breast biopsy with a friend, simply because she was a house guest, but I still felt it was going to be nothing as 80% of breast lumps are nothing "they" said,  and I wondered why on earth there was a woman waiting with me who was frightened and crying.  Had my biopsy and went home.  I got a call that night about the endometrial biopsy.  I said,   can we wait until I know what's going on with the breast thing before you refer me to a gyn oncologist?  The gynecologist said well, she'd just go ahead and put the referral in anyway, and that this was "important but not urgent" (I had Type 1 cancer, not 2).  Then approximately 4 days later I got the call that said I had breast cancer.  From this point on, my husband went with me to all of my appointments.  (He no longer does - it's been 5 years - and once again, I think everything is fine, but I do what I have to in keeping follow-up appointments).  Just saying that I was perfectly fine doing all of the prediagnostic stuff alone, but I did tell my husband about it all.  And as soon as I received the reality check, then not only did he want to go with me, but I requested it.  We did not tell our children (who are all grown and away from home) until a treatment plan was decided and in place, tho.  And I still think that was a good decision for our family. 

    If you feel you need support for your testing, by all means, take him with you or at least ask him.  He may want to go with you.  I was simply too stupid to even consider that.  Best of luck and remember, November 30 will soon be behind you.  Takes around 4-7 days for biopsy results.

    Suzanne

  • pinky104
    pinky104 Member Posts: 574 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    My mind cant wrap around this

    First of all, i really appreciate all the comments; i read them over and over again, trying to find that courage you speak of. I would like to know though if any of you felt pretty good, minus old age aches, before your diagnosis and so therefore it came as a complete shock?

    Symptoms

    My symptoms were pretty vague.  I often felt tired after eating breakfast, but for some reason, it only seemed to happen on the weekends.  I'd have to crawl back in bed for a nap.  My mother was diagnosed with celiac disease, so I blamed the English muffins or bagels I had for breakfast on the weekends.  I got tested twice for celiac disease, but my results were negative.  I got one twinge of pain a day on my left side.  Looking back on it, it must have been the cancer in my left ovary that caused it.  The cancer was also in the right ovary, but I had no symptoms on that side.  I got diarrhea before work every day but I'd been told years before that I had irritable bowel syndrome.  In high school, I often got diarrhea when I was nervous about a test.  Ironically, after I had my cancer surgery and retired, that problem went away.  Cancer was found in my small intestine, so I don't know if the diarrhea went away because the cancer was removed or if it was because I no longer had the stress of working.  I'd always had a sense that something wasn't right, but had pretty much decided it was all in my mind.  I worked in a medical records job in an ER and I used to look at other people's symptoms in the charts to see if they matched mine.  One thing I ignored (but shouldn't have) was an odd smell I got when on the john. It was kind of a fishy smell.  I went to my GYN every 3 months because I'd had urine leakage and I was given a pessary which had to be cleaned periodically.  He never seemed to notice the smell.  When I went to my GYN/onc's office the first time, I was asked how long I'd had the discharge.  I'd often thought I had a yeast infection, and thought maybe I was getting one of them, as I felt irritated a lot, used some Monistat, and felt slightly better.  However, this discharge was clear, not white like the yeast infections' discharges I'd had at times.  I get abdominal pain now, five years later, but I've had CT scans and I've been told that the pain is probably from constipation.  I really had only very minor symptoms considering I had the worst stage of UPSC there is.  What finally got me to find out I had cancer was some very minor vaginal bleeding two weeks after my GYN had prescribed an estrogen cream for the irritation I was getting from the pessary.  I read up on the cream and found it could cause bleeding.  I didn't want to call the GYN up and complain because it was always very painful having the pessary removed and put back in, so I waited until my next appointment three months later to mention it to him.  He told me I was on such a minor dose of the med that I shouldn't be bleeding from it, and he ordered an ultrasound.  Even after the ultrasound, he told me I had a big polyp and it was almost certainly benign.  I'd had one 10 years before that was benign, plus I'd had about 6 cervical polyps that were benign over the years.  But this one wasn't.  I got called into the office three days after the D&C and told I had cancer.  What a shock!  I was in the middle of cleaning my house for my stepdaughter's first baby shower which was coming up that weekend (we had 40 people coming over) and I had to deal with the cancer diagnosis, too. I was more overweight back then and my belly was always a little bloated looking.  I also bruised very easily.  I'd listened to news reports where I'd heard those two things were symptoms of cancer, and I remember thinking I had those symptoms and I should have cancer, but I didn't.  A few weeks later, I found out I did!

  • JamieL59
    JamieL59 Member Posts: 13
    Tomorrow's the big day

    Well its finally here and I'm paralyzed with fear. I did finally tell my husband, but I guess I already knew he wasn't the supportive kind.  I did ask a friend last week to go with me to tomorrow's biopsy appt. She is a breast cancer survivor. Anyway, I don't know how many of you are the religious kind, but if you are, I could sure use the extra prayers. 

    Also, is it just me and my new sensitivities, but did each of you feel everywhere you went, every time you turned on the TV or the radio, all I see and hear is cancer?

  • JamieL59
    JamieL59 Member Posts: 13
    JamieL59 said:

    Tomorrow's the big day

    Well its finally here and I'm paralyzed with fear. I did finally tell my husband, but I guess I already knew he wasn't the supportive kind.  I did ask a friend last week to go with me to tomorrow's biopsy appt. She is a breast cancer survivor. Anyway, I don't know how many of you are the religious kind, but if you are, I could sure use the extra prayers. 

    Also, is it just me and my new sensitivities, but did each of you feel everywhere you went, every time you turned on the TV or the radio, all I see and hear is cancer?

    Also, were you able to go

    Also, were you able to go back to work the same day you had your ultrasound and biopsy?

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    Also, were you able to go

    Also, were you able to go back to work the same day you had your ultrasound and biopsy?

    I wasn't working

    the day I had those procedures done, but I could have worked.  I hope things go easily for you tomorrow.

    Chris

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,482 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    Also, were you able to go

    Also, were you able to go back to work the same day you had your ultrasound and biopsy?

    I had some cramping but my

    I had some cramping but my gynocologist gave me some Advil and that helped.  I could have gone back to work but I just sit at a desk.  If I had to be on my feet, maybe not.

    I'm sending you all my positive thought and good vibrations, Jamie!!!  (((Jamie)))

    Take care,

    Eldri

  • Virgil90012
    Virgil90012 Member Posts: 35 Member
    JamieL59 said:

    Also, were you able to go

    Also, were you able to go back to work the same day you had your ultrasound and biopsy?

    I scheduled my ultrasound

    I scheduled my ultrasound first thing in the morning so I did go to work after it was over.   The entire procedure was manageable and there was no pain.  My biopsy was done at my gynecologist's office and again it was a simple procedure with no after effects. 

    With regards to your other comment about seeing and hearing cancer references all over TV and radio, I too have that increased awareness.  i also see references to cancer on billboards when I am driving.  I know it was all there before but I thnk it has become personal to us and so we see it everywhere.

    Good Luck

    Cathy