Joining the club

13

Comments

  • Freenc
    Freenc Member Posts: 24
    Laparoscopic

    My procedure will be a radical via laparoscopic. 

     

    I am still having panic attacks which suck so bad. I keep thinking that what happens if it comes back. I guess that is normal but how do you move on with your life. I feel paralysed.

     

    Tom

  • Bonngo
    Bonngo Member Posts: 79
    Decision

    Tom,

    Your decision along with your doctor to do a complete nephrectomy is a wise one.  I was in your position at age 49 four years this December.  It's a tough decision but stay strong and know you are not in this alone.

    I'll be right behind you as my next surgeries are scheduled for November 30th.  

    Use this time to spend quality time with your family and continue to do the things you love.  Believe it or not, you can find ways that this current challenge will have some positive impact on your life.  For me, it has been being more grateful for the small everyday things and showing others that my faith sustains me, not my own strength.  

    I will be praying for your and your family.

    ~Bonnie

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    Freenc said:

    Laparoscopic

    My procedure will be a radical via laparoscopic. 

     

    I am still having panic attacks which suck so bad. I keep thinking that what happens if it comes back. I guess that is normal but how do you move on with your life. I feel paralysed.

     

    Tom

    Its not fair

    I complained to the nurses in hospital that its totally unfair. Hypochondriacs should be excused cancer: the two work together far too well. The nurse asks if youre suffering from a particular symptom and you can only reply "Well, I have now. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

    Can I point out that it cant come back. Because it hasnt gone yet. Try to worry about today, not the future. It really is enough.

  • Ree_Maryland
    Ree_Maryland Member Posts: 161 Member
    Freenc said:

    Just got out of the appointment with the doctor

    The doctor said it is a stage 1 and in his words I am going to be cured. He is recommending a total nephrectomy which I am thankful for. The was no involvement with the viens or lymph nodes. He was very hopeful which is great. I just need.to find a way to deal with the anxiety while waiting for surgery.

    Free

    I also have stage 1b right kidney complete removal of kidney , the surgery was not that bad. I found out i had RCC on March 4th , had surgery April 21st . The anxiety was worse than the actual surgery ,but that has been a yr and a half ago , i feel pretty good ,but wish I could get off coffee cause I think it is not good for my one kidney. HOPE all goes well stay strong , before you know it the surgery will be here and gone. 

  • Skagway Jack
    Skagway Jack Member Posts: 224 Member
    DONT Panic! Bring your towel.

    Tom,    My tumor was 7x5...so in your ball park.  They took the whole kidney(leaving a nine inch gash) , and no second thoughts from me on that.  Bottom line is you will do fine, but it will take a little while to be back to normal.   There are lots of good folks here to bounce your fears off of, but it really boils down to just taking a deep breath trusting in your professionals and putting your healing first and foremost.  The worst part is the waiting.  I waited for a month from the time mine was discovered until surgery.  Healing is incremental,  I was back at work in a month and full speed ahead about 3 months later.  Honestly though I didnt feel 100 percent for nearly a year.  Hang in there.  We are here for you.

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member

    DONT Panic! Bring your towel.

    Tom,    My tumor was 7x5...so in your ball park.  They took the whole kidney(leaving a nine inch gash) , and no second thoughts from me on that.  Bottom line is you will do fine, but it will take a little while to be back to normal.   There are lots of good folks here to bounce your fears off of, but it really boils down to just taking a deep breath trusting in your professionals and putting your healing first and foremost.  The worst part is the waiting.  I waited for a month from the time mine was discovered until surgery.  Healing is incremental,  I was back at work in a month and full speed ahead about 3 months later.  Honestly though I didnt feel 100 percent for nearly a year.  Hang in there.  We are here for you.

    Hi Tom,
    What you are going

    Hi Tom,

    What you are going through is initially very scary. Many thoughts and worries. I had a 13 cm tumor and after lots of mumble jumble, it was 2 months later by the time my kidney was removed. I know exactlly how hard the wait is!   But believe me, the surgery is not so bad at all. So use the time before the surgery to be at your best emotionally and in health. Take some deep breaths, and let that anxiety go (easier said than done, I know). We are here to support you through this.

    November 12th is a lucky day for you and for me! I have my CT scan and NED report that day! (BTW you may as well learn what NED means - No Evidence of Disease). We have nicknamed it Uncle NED. I am sure Uncle NED will pay you lots of visits!

    Hugs

    Jojo

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    Jojo61 said:

    Hi Tom,
    What you are going

    Hi Tom,

    What you are going through is initially very scary. Many thoughts and worries. I had a 13 cm tumor and after lots of mumble jumble, it was 2 months later by the time my kidney was removed. I know exactlly how hard the wait is!   But believe me, the surgery is not so bad at all. So use the time before the surgery to be at your best emotionally and in health. Take some deep breaths, and let that anxiety go (easier said than done, I know). We are here to support you through this.

    November 12th is a lucky day for you and for me! I have my CT scan and NED report that day! (BTW you may as well learn what NED means - No Evidence of Disease). We have nicknamed it Uncle NED. I am sure Uncle NED will pay you lots of visits!

    Hugs

    Jojo

    Jojo is right. The surgery

    Jojo is right. The surgery isn't really that bad. My anticipation and fears made it much worse than the reality. Not a walk in the park but not horrible either. Soon it'll be behind you and at Stage 1 you can expect visits from Uncle NED. Wishing you the best on the 12th and you too, Jojo!

  • Freenc
    Freenc Member Posts: 24
    APny said:

    Jojo is right. The surgery

    Jojo is right. The surgery isn't really that bad. My anticipation and fears made it much worse than the reality. Not a walk in the park but not horrible either. Soon it'll be behind you and at Stage 1 you can expect visits from Uncle NED. Wishing you the best on the 12th and you too, Jojo!

    I think tgat I need to quit reading on the internet

    I know how lucky I am that this was found early but I am still terrified. I know that statistics say that at a stage 1a N0M0  with a radical that there is only a 5 percent chance of recurrence but I am terrified. I cannot get this bad feelings out of my head. 

    I am broken at this point, I am no longer me. My son just called to say hi and I cried like a baby. 

    I need so much help, I thought that I was stronger than this.

    I don't want to feel this way any longer.

     

    Tom

     

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    Freenc said:

    I think tgat I need to quit reading on the internet

    I know how lucky I am that this was found early but I am still terrified. I know that statistics say that at a stage 1a N0M0  with a radical that there is only a 5 percent chance of recurrence but I am terrified. I cannot get this bad feelings out of my head. 

    I am broken at this point, I am no longer me. My son just called to say hi and I cried like a baby. 

    I need so much help, I thought that I was stronger than this.

    I don't want to feel this way any longer.

     

    Tom

     

    Look at the bright side

    Tom,

     

    You got diagnosed with a not so fun disease where a not so fun surgery gives you a 95% cure for life. The alternative is to let the buggar grow until you get a check out date. This surgery is a no brainer. Mine was just after my 59th birthday and I went water skiing 11 months later. While there is no way to sugar coat a neph, it sure beats the alternative. If you type my name (icemantoo)  under one of the 2 searches under Kidney Cancer at the top of ths post you will see some of the encouraging things I have written to club members over the years.

     

    Icemantoo

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    icemantoo said:

    Look at the bright side

    Tom,

     

    You got diagnosed with a not so fun disease where a not so fun surgery gives you a 95% cure for life. The alternative is to let the buggar grow until you get a check out date. This surgery is a no brainer. Mine was just after my 59th birthday and I went water skiing 11 months later. While there is no way to sugar coat a neph, it sure beats the alternative. If you type my name (icemantoo)  under one of the 2 searches under Kidney Cancer at the top of ths post you will see some of the encouraging things I have written to club members over the years.

     

    Icemantoo

    Freenc, it has nothing to do

    Freenc, it has nothing to do with strength. It’s a terrifying thing to be told and it really does your head in. There probably isn’t a person on this board who wasn’t terrified when first told. I’m normally not fond of four letter words but when I was told I had kidney cancer the first words out of my mouth to the urologist were “Who the f—k gets kidney cancer?” I was in shock. I don’t think any of us will ever feel the way we did before being diagnosed but it does get better with time. Give yourself a chance to digest this and it’s ok to cry and be terrified. I really think once you have the surgery and it’s out you’ll feel a lot better. Hang in there!

  • Freenc
    Freenc Member Posts: 24
    APny said:

    Freenc, it has nothing to do

    Freenc, it has nothing to do with strength. It’s a terrifying thing to be told and it really does your head in. There probably isn’t a person on this board who wasn’t terrified when first told. I’m normally not fond of four letter words but when I was told I had kidney cancer the first words out of my mouth to the urologist were “Who the f—k gets kidney cancer?” I was in shock. I don’t think any of us will ever feel the way we did before being diagnosed but it does get better with time. Give yourself a chance to digest this and it’s ok to cry and be terrified. I really think once you have the surgery and it’s out you’ll feel a lot better. Hang in there!

    You are right...

    As soon as I get this thing out of me I will begin to calm down....I.hope. I guess it is the fear of recurrence that is getting me now. I am not even worried about the surgery. Except that I hate anesthesia. 

    Tom

     

     

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    Freenc said:

    You are right...

    As soon as I get this thing out of me I will begin to calm down....I.hope. I guess it is the fear of recurrence that is getting me now. I am not even worried about the surgery. Except that I hate anesthesia. 

    Tom

     

     

    Surgery

    You arrive at the hospital. Then you go to sleep. You wake up a bit woozy, but being looked after. After a little while you will go home and your tummy will hurt a bit. You may have a splendid wound - I do. It may take a few weeks to get up to speed afterwards. Dont worry your doctor will be monitoring your progress.

    You will wonder what on earth you were worrying about beforehand. I promise you, you will be OK in the hands of experts and angels with a vocation.

  • tkmj914
    tkmj914 Member Posts: 43
    Freenc said:

    You are right...

    As soon as I get this thing out of me I will begin to calm down....I.hope. I guess it is the fear of recurrence that is getting me now. I am not even worried about the surgery. Except that I hate anesthesia. 

    Tom

     

     

    Tom,
    you WILL feel so much

    Tom,

    you WILL feel so much better after its out! That is when you can breathe again. I am such an anxious person in general so you can imagine the sheer terror with this DX. Get some xanax or Valium, it's not forever but it will help you to get through this. I so wish I could help you but i know I was a loony and nothing but meds helped. They allowed me to calm down enough to get perspective on things. We are very lucky that it was found early and most likely won't ever come back. Peace to you.

    Melanie

  • Freenc
    Freenc Member Posts: 24
    tkmj914 said:

    Tom,
    you WILL feel so much

    Tom,

    you WILL feel so much better after its out! That is when you can breathe again. I am such an anxious person in general so you can imagine the sheer terror with this DX. Get some xanax or Valium, it's not forever but it will help you to get through this. I so wish I could help you but i know I was a loony and nothing but meds helped. They allowed me to calm down enough to get perspective on things. We are very lucky that it was found early and most likely won't ever come back. Peace to you.

    Melanie

    Grateful...

    I am so grateful to all of you. I am still so scared, I am afraid that it will come back,  I am afraid that I will never have the piece of mind longer I did a week ago, I am afraid of everything now. 

    I am on xanax but I think I need more help than the medicine can deliver. 

    I want to find joy in life again. I feel like it is lost forever. 

    Is this normal?

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    Tom

    I am very glad you found this forum. Please be aware that everyone reacts differently when receiving this news - there is no normal!! Laughing

    You have some valid questions and concerns. May I suggest either consulting with your family doctor, for some reassurance? (or your specialist if they are available). I believe it is very important to go into your surgery feeling as calm and confident as possible.

    We all worry about reoccurence to some degree....but remember this....worrying will not change the outcome - it will only deplete your energy and sense of well being.

    Hang in there, hon. You will be okay.

    Hugs

    Jojo

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    Jojo61 said:

    Tom

    I am very glad you found this forum. Please be aware that everyone reacts differently when receiving this news - there is no normal!! Laughing

    You have some valid questions and concerns. May I suggest either consulting with your family doctor, for some reassurance? (or your specialist if they are available). I believe it is very important to go into your surgery feeling as calm and confident as possible.

    We all worry about reoccurence to some degree....but remember this....worrying will not change the outcome - it will only deplete your energy and sense of well being.

    Hang in there, hon. You will be okay.

    Hugs

    Jojo

    Normal

    Tom,

     

    All of your feelings bring back the good old days when I was diagnosed. Your feelings are pretty normal. Things will get better. Before you know it you will be laughing about this and how you beat Cancer. Yes you are scheduled to beat Cancer. I need you to stick around to help the newbies 13 years from now as at 72 I may check out before another 13 years go by. My doctors have assured me that my checkout will be from something other than RCC.

     

     

    Icemantoo

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    Freenc said:

    Grateful...

    I am so grateful to all of you. I am still so scared, I am afraid that it will come back,  I am afraid that I will never have the piece of mind longer I did a week ago, I am afraid of everything now. 

    I am on xanax but I think I need more help than the medicine can deliver. 

    I want to find joy in life again. I feel like it is lost forever. 

    Is this normal?

    Maybe you need something stronger than xanax?

    Take your worries to your doctor. You are not alone. The doctor will listen to your concerns and help you out. We are all scared and they will be used to cancer patients who are worried and scared.Maybe they recommend a therapist you can talk to.

    Perhaps you have used a therapist before? It might help to have a chat again.

    I admire your openess in admitting your fears. We all have them.

    You will find joy again. Everyday feels like forever when you're this scared and the C word knocks us all sideways. You will regain equalibrium.

    And yes you are normal. This is a normal reaction.

    We all feel for you because we have all been through it ourselves. You have a world of people supporting you and wishing you well.

    You'll be fine.

  • mrou50
    mrou50 Member Posts: 389 Member
    Freenc said:

    I think tgat I need to quit reading on the internet

    I know how lucky I am that this was found early but I am still terrified. I know that statistics say that at a stage 1a N0M0  with a radical that there is only a 5 percent chance of recurrence but I am terrified. I cannot get this bad feelings out of my head. 

    I am broken at this point, I am no longer me. My son just called to say hi and I cried like a baby. 

    I need so much help, I thought that I was stronger than this.

    I don't want to feel this way any longer.

     

    Tom

     

    Your not alone

    Tom no one can tell you what tomorrow holds for you.  You need to live your life as if you have 60 years left enjoy all of the time.  Yes cancer is an ugly word but you caught yours early and the odds are in your favor.  Trust your doctors but always get a second opinion, and tell your family you love them everyday.  

     

    Mark

  • tkmj914
    tkmj914 Member Posts: 43
    Freenc said:

    Grateful...

    I am so grateful to all of you. I am still so scared, I am afraid that it will come back,  I am afraid that I will never have the piece of mind longer I did a week ago, I am afraid of everything now. 

    I am on xanax but I think I need more help than the medicine can deliver. 

    I want to find joy in life again. I feel like it is lost forever. 

    Is this normal?

    You are totally normal!! As

    You are totally normal!! As soon as this surgery is over you will start to feel better, then when your first scan comes back fine you will be even better. This is not going to be your new way of life, this panic is not your forever and you will be ok. at times I thought " how can I live through this?" My anxiety was so bad I would wake up gasping for breath with a feeling of doom like I had never felt in my life but every day got better for me and I now have mostly peaceful, grateful, and happy days! It's only been four months and I am so close to back to normal and have been for a while! You're gonna get through this!!

    Melanie

  • Freenc
    Freenc Member Posts: 24
    icemantoo said:

    Normal

    Tom,

     

    All of your feelings bring back the good old days when I was diagnosed. Your feelings are pretty normal. Things will get better. Before you know it you will be laughing about this and how you beat Cancer. Yes you are scheduled to beat Cancer. I need you to stick around to help the newbies 13 years from now as at 72 I may check out before another 13 years go by. My doctors have assured me that my checkout will be from something other than RCC.

     

     

    Icemantoo

    Just home from meeting the surgeon...

    He says that they will take the kidney and this will be the end of it. He said that they would grade it but in his experience he is not expecting any mets.....ever. He said the mass is very well contained and the surgery will be a breeze. Again the only concern that he has is my mental state which is still bad.

    So that is all excellent news but I still feel broken. It is time for professional mental help now.

     

    Tom