It's 3:30 AM

well, I'll say I didn't read your post at 3:30 AM but if I had, I would have immediately written back as an expression of solidarity.

tough times. money and work issues are very stressful, so hopefully once you have more resolution on both fronts, some of your burdens will be lifted.  a positive on the bill is that it can hopefully be deducted from your taxes...

I must say I don't clear my mind. I can't. I wish I could but I can't.  The only thing that really works for me in terms of mind clearing is hard exericse. But with cancer and treatment, most of the time I can't do this. It's awful.  So my usual coping mechanism is gone. Walking and bikeriding (impossible in snow) helps a bit, but it's not the same...  

People for years have told me to meditate but I don't. I havent' regularly flossed my teeth in 40 years either.  But.. I have learned to live with a scrambled and active mind. The trick is to not worry about your mind not being clear, if that makes any sense. Accept the anxiety and learn to live with it like a noisy neighbor.  If you do experience a moment of clarity with no anxiety, stop and notice it. If you're driving, pull over and open the window and smell the air. Enjoy it.  Think, "wow. five minutes of peace."  When these moments crop up randomly (and they do), just learn to recognize them and enjoy them. If you're with someone you love when it happens, gaze into their eyes, hug them and tell them you love them. Sounds corny but it works. 

When you're brain is going ten zillion miles an hour, resist the urge talk to yourself (hah!) out loud or in your head.

Try not to dwell on the negative. easier said than done. 

also, stay in the present. Sure, you have to plan for the future - ie have six months of savings in case you're fired, etc - but if future events scare you, stop thinking about them all the time. Or if you can do this, schedule a time of day when you only think about "what if"s and the future. Say 7-8 in the morning or something. whatever. if your thoughts creep up at other times, discipline yourself to punt until later, untll this scheduled time. And also, letting the past creep into your thoughts can also cause anxiety, unless they are happy memories. Don't beat yourself up over things you can't change.

While I say I don't meditate, sometimes I do some some deep nose breaths. Not too rapidly or you'll flood your system with carbon dioxide and you could get lightheaded and pass out. but if you feel really jumpy, just take a few seconds to breathe deeply and ground yourself. it can work in the short term. 

I don't know if you're into pampering or not, but massage is great and some insurances will pay for it. many of us keep tension in our necks and backs, and massage can relieve this. 

good luck with everything. Hope you feel better

Karin

I remember it took me months to sleep more than a few hours at a time after my first surgery.  Fortunately, after recovery and the start of chemo, I could not stay awake for more than a few hours at a time.  It took six months after chemo to start sleeping through the night AND staying up most of the day.  I think I took naps for the first two years after.  Fortunately I was unemployed and had the luxury of keeping what ever schedule I needed.

You obviously don't have that luxury.  Here is to a clear mind and peaceful sleep!

 peace and best wishes,

rick 

I have not tried this but it was suggested to me and is actually covered on my plan- hypnosis. The person I was referred to is an actual MD and its used for anxiety and surprisingly healing. Maybe worth checking out.

Easyflip/Richard

Replying at 4:30 am, I have no words of wisdom...  What reason did BCBS give for denying the PET scan?  I've never had them deny one yet, though I know each one has to be pre-approved.  Good luck on all fronts.

I've had too many of these nights, totally relate.  I'm not a big yoga person (okay I'm not a yoga person at all) but someone taught me this relaxation position that works WONDERS.  It's called legs on the wall.  You lay on your back with your butt against the wall and do just as it sounds, put your legs on the wall straight upward.  What it does is bring blood flow directly to all of your organs and causes your brain to relax.  It's impossible not to relax.  Of course there have been nights where every hour I've had to put my legs on the wall.  lol  The anxiety does kick back in but if you fall asleep before it does, it's always great.  I now do this every night just before bed for 10 mins.

Phil64 said:

Steve, they said it was "not

Steve, they said it was "not medically  necessary."

I have filed the second level of appear.  I have not heard back on this yet.

Given longer working hours, I'm starting to  sleep through the night now. :-)

 

And I do pray! And that does help too.

 

I hope you continue to sleep.  I'm still struggling to do anything but toss and turn at night.  I have a pet scan coming up in another week.  I haven't had one since July of last year, so hopefully it will be approved.  My CEA is trending up and I'm feeling drained, but hopefully it will be good news.  I'm swaying back and forth listening to music, so regardless I'm smiling...  The Beatles are keeping me company.