wondering if I will ever wake from this nightmare?

April of 2013, i was diagnosed with Stage3b   colorectal cancer.  Went through the surgery,  port placement, radiation, attempted chemo,  but it was platelets too fast (i have ITP,  platelet count was watched closely). In July,  i was admitted to hospital,  for what they thought was internal bleeding,  my potassium levels was critically low, so i was on critical care for heat failure.  One week later,  i am released.  While in hospital,  my partner and i talked about going to Cancer Treatment Center of America,  do once i was home,  we worked on that.  Flew out to Chicago in August,  stayed four days. Anyone looking at going there,  be prepared for jam packed days of seeing doctor after doctor.  They don't schedule you any breaks at all,  i told them i need to go eat!  Came home with no new plans or medicine.No one called from ctca to see if i was on,  nothing.  I had to go back to work in October,  against my doctors wishes, but the bills were just piling up higher and higher and i couldn't get assistance from anyone to assist.  I tried getting on social security and was denied because my treatment wasn't going to keep me off work for over a year.  In February of 2014, i was told iwas cancer ffree,  i beat the odds.  I still have to do my check ups.  I went to Oncologist on June 6, exactly one year after my first radiation treatment and wastold my lab work looked good except my liver functioning was still high,  in fact it was higher than it was three months ago.  Doctor said i either have fatty liver disease or liver cancer and he is leaning towards cancer.  Ugh,  i just want to enjoy life!  I have testing in August to see if it is cancer.  I am scared and am just know getting partly back to myself and now this.....  Can someone pinch me and wake me up now??