Medical Dictionary (Play on words) Funny

SIROD
SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member
edited September 2013 in Breast Cancer #1

It might have come from this discussion board or another one.  At one time, I kept a file on my computer on posts that made me laugh.

If you haven't read it before or even if you had, it might be fun to read again.

 

MEDICAL DICTIONARY:
Artery...... ......... ......... .. The study of paintings.
Bacteria.... ......... ......... . Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...... ......... ......... What doctors do when patients die.
Benign...... ......... ......... ..What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section..... .....A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan..... ......... ......... . Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize... ......... ......... . Made eye contact with her.
Colic....... ......... ......... .... A sheep dog.
Coma........ ......... ......... .. A punctuation mark.
Dilate...... ......... ......... ... To live long.
Enema....... ......... ......... . Not a friend.
Fester...... ......... ......... .. Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...... ......... ......... ... A small lie.
Impotent.... ......... ......... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain........ ......... .. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff....... ......... . A Doctor's cane.
Morbid...... ......... ......... .. A higher offer.
Nitrates.... ......... ......... ... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........ ......... ......... ... I knew it.
Outpatient.. ......... ......... . A person who has fainted.
Pelvis...... ......... ......... .... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative... ......... ... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room........ ...... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum...... ......... ......... . Nearly killed him.
Secretion... ......... ......... . Hiding something.
Seizure..... ......... ......... .. Roman emperor.
Tablet...... ......... ......... ... A small table.
Terminal Illness..... ........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour...... ......... ......... . One plus one more.
Urine....... ......... ......... ... Opposite of you're out.

Comments

  • cinnamonsmile
    cinnamonsmile Member Posts: 1,187 Member
    #2
    Thanks for the chuckles and

    Thanks for the chuckles and grins!!!

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #3
    cinnamonsmile said:

    Thanks for the chuckles and

    Thanks for the chuckles and grins!!!

    I really enjoyed this --

    Thank Doris for Sharing  ...

     

    LOL

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #4
    Medical abbreviations on hospital notes

    ABITHAD - Another Blithering Idiot - Thinks He's A Doctor.

    ADR - Ain't Doin' Right.

    ART - Assuming Room Temperature (recently deceased).

    ATSWWT - Always Thinks Something's Wrong With Them.

    CTD - Circling The Drain.

    DAAD - Dead As A Doornail.

    DRT - Dead Right There.

    ETK(T)M - Every Test Known To Man.

    FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom.

    FFFF - Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent.

    FF or FFY - Frequent Flyer - A patient who returns to a medical provider for everything.

    FLD - Funny Looking Dad.

    FLK - Funny Looking Kid.

    FOS - Full Of ... Stool.

    FTD - Fixing To Die.

    FTF - Failure To Fly.

    FLGD - Familial lack of Genetic Diversity.

    FTW - Friggin Train Wreck (patient with multiple problems).

    GOK - God Only Knows.

    GFPO - Good For Parts Only.

    GGTG - Gomers Go To Ground (they fall out of bed or gurneys).

    GLM - Good Looking Mum.

    GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room.

    GTO - Gomer Tip Over.

    HHH - Triple H enema - High, Hot, and a Hell of alot.

    LGFD - Looks good from door.

    LOLINAD - Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress.

    LOLTWO - Little Old Lady Totally Whacked Out.

    MFC - Measure For Coffin.

    NFS - Normal For Swindon.

    O2T - Oxygen Thief.

    ODD&DDR - Out 'De Door and Down 'De Road.

    PBBB - Pine Box By Bedside.

    PIP - Pyjama Induced Paralysis.

    PITA - Pain In The A$$.

    PJAR - Person Just Ain't Right.

    SALT - Same As Last Time.

    SNEFS - Sub-Normal Even For Suffolk.

    SWAG - Scientific, wild-A$$ Guess.

    TBW - Tossed By Wave.

    TEETH - Tried Everything Else; Try Homeopathy.

    TEON - Two Eyes One Nose.

    TMB - Too Many Birthdays.

    TOBAS - Take Out Back And Shoot.

    TSS - Tinted Specs Positive.

    TTGA - Told To Go Away.

    TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.

    VIPIA - Very Important Pain In the A$$.

    WDWNF - Well Developed Well Nourished Female.

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