Handling stress from waiting for treatment decisions?

coco2008
coco2008 Member Posts: 418
edited May 2013 in Breast Cancer #1

Diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer in late March. Had first surgeries in April and reexcisions in early May.  The surgeon said I would have lumpectomies and radiation.  After the surgeries he sent me to the oncologist.

The oncologist ordered more tests.  He is concerned about both breasts having cancer at the same time.  He is talkin possible chemo and radiation.  He also ordered genetic tests.  If that comes in with a problem I will go for double mastectomy.

My problem right this minute is the waiting.  It's like bombs hanging from the ceiling and not knowing which one will fall on my head.

How do you handle the stress of waiting?

 

 

«1

Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    Hi waiting is hard

    Hi

    I try keeping myself busy, disctruct with activities, do whatever I like. If it does not work for you please ask your doctor for medications. I take Ativan ocasionally and it helps.

    Wishing you good results

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418

    Hi waiting is hard

    Hi

    I try keeping myself busy, disctruct with activities, do whatever I like. If it does not work for you please ask your doctor for medications. I take Ativan ocasionally and it helps.

    Wishing you good results

    Thanks

    Thanks.  I've tried doing different things, but I have the attention span of a Cocker Spanial puppy.  Start a lot and finish nothing.

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    coco2008 said:

    Thanks

    Thanks.  I've tried doing different things, but I have the attention span of a Cocker Spanial puppy.  Start a lot and finish nothing.

    Need help

    Anyone else have suggestions?

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    coco2008 said:

    Need help

    Anyone else have suggestions?

    My favorite is watching a good movie

    Watch a movie or read or book

    If you have to go through mastectomy subscription to any movie service will be helpful.

    Hugs

  • Kvbrooks1
    Kvbrooks1 Member Posts: 2
    Waiting is the worst

    I can relate to what you are going through.  Although I tried many things to distract me it was very difficult to even maintain my focus. The best thing for me was to surround myself with others, at home with family or at work with staff and students.  The only way to stay engaged in distraction for me was if others would not let me have the time or energy to think about myself.  

    I am and have always been a person who can handle anything but the unknown.  So sometimes as crazy as it may sound I just tried to work out scenarios for what I might do given different responses from my care providers.  Crazy I know to think about thinking more about the unknown, but if I was going to worry about it I was going to try to work out a response I could live with, it felt a bit more constructive and for a while I could relax with my decision.

    The hardest thing about cancer is never knowing what turn it might take.  I have always believed in the power of positive thought, but you can't think your way through this one.  You can only choose to replace your fearful and negative thoughts with others that you can find even momentary comfort in.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kathy

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    Kvbrooks1 said:

    Waiting is the worst

    I can relate to what you are going through.  Although I tried many things to distract me it was very difficult to even maintain my focus. The best thing for me was to surround myself with others, at home with family or at work with staff and students.  The only way to stay engaged in distraction for me was if others would not let me have the time or energy to think about myself.  

    I am and have always been a person who can handle anything but the unknown.  So sometimes as crazy as it may sound I just tried to work out scenarios for what I might do given different responses from my care providers.  Crazy I know to think about thinking more about the unknown, but if I was going to worry about it I was going to try to work out a response I could live with, it felt a bit more constructive and for a while I could relax with my decision.

    The hardest thing about cancer is never knowing what turn it might take.  I have always believed in the power of positive thought, but you can't think your way through this one.  You can only choose to replace your fearful and negative thoughts with others that you can find even momentary comfort in.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kathy

    Thanks for all the help

     i've tried movies and reading.  I even started another quilt.  Family is not available and I don't want to be a pest to my friends, since this doesn't look to be a quick cure.  I guess I am doing what I can, and it's very nice to know I'm not losing my mind.  And thanks to the people like yhose on this forum, I don't feel so alone.  Thanks.

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258

    My favorite is watching a good movie

    Watch a movie or read or book

    If you have to go through mastectomy subscription to any movie service will be helpful.

    Hugs

    Waiting is hard.  We all know

    Waiting is hard.  We all know that, but, try to do anything that you love to do to try and keep your mind off of it.  I know you will still be thinking of it, but, please try to stay calm and to think positive. 

    Good luck, JJ

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    I HATE H ATE  HATE TO

    I HATE H ATE  HATE TO WAIT...BUT ONE THING IN HIND SIGHT THAT HELPED ME was using a journal. I rec'd one as a gift from friend and one from Cancer center. I thought goofy, silly but now i read it every once in awhile and I now see it as helpful. A place to vent (prior to finding this site)

     

    Denise

  • Kvbrooks1
    Kvbrooks1 Member Posts: 2
    coco2008 said:

    Thanks for all the help

     i've tried movies and reading.  I even started another quilt.  Family is not available and I don't want to be a pest to my friends, since this doesn't look to be a quick cure.  I guess I am doing what I can, and it's very nice to know I'm not losing my mind.  And thanks to the people like yhose on this forum, I don't feel so alone.  Thanks.

    Being a pest

    I know how this feels.  There were times during my treatment that I just shut down and shut myself away.  Later people would say, "you should have called" or "I would have been happy to...."  Don't wait until later in your treatment, friends don't mind.  They are confused about how to help, but I found that if you are specific they are usually able and quite ready to help.

    Please feel free to reach out even in an email.  Gives you contact and sometimes that is the help that is needed.

    Hang in there!

    Kathy

  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    Kvbrooks1 said:

    Waiting is the worst

    I can relate to what you are going through.  Although I tried many things to distract me it was very difficult to even maintain my focus. The best thing for me was to surround myself with others, at home with family or at work with staff and students.  The only way to stay engaged in distraction for me was if others would not let me have the time or energy to think about myself.  

    I am and have always been a person who can handle anything but the unknown.  So sometimes as crazy as it may sound I just tried to work out scenarios for what I might do given different responses from my care providers.  Crazy I know to think about thinking more about the unknown, but if I was going to worry about it I was going to try to work out a response I could live with, it felt a bit more constructive and for a while I could relax with my decision.

    The hardest thing about cancer is never knowing what turn it might take.  I have always believed in the power of positive thought, but you can't think your way through this one.  You can only choose to replace your fearful and negative thoughts with others that you can find even momentary comfort in.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kathy

    "The hardest thing about cancer

    is never knowing what turn it might take."   That is true of ANY chronic/acute disease.  Do I 'like' having to have dealt with IBC - that is an emphatic NO!  However, there are many other disease that I would not have wanted to deal with more.  Cancer has never stopped me from doing what I want to do.(Age [67 next month] is slowing me down some but definately not stoppiing me - Sat we will be doing the 7k Volks March up to the arm of the carving at Crazy Horse Memorial.  I care for/ride our horses, bike, mow yards for people who need a bit of help and my new passions since DX are flyfishing/fly tying/rod building [I got into rod building through Project Healing Waters which is a fantastic program for Veterans])  I have always been a very active 'outdoor' woman and IBC has not slowed me down at all.  Sat. we will be doing the Volks March up to the arm of Crazy Horse at Crazy Horse Memorial.  There are so many other health issues that would have prevented me from doing it - but not IBC.

    The hardest thing - in a way - for me is knowing what Hubby goes through.  He lost his Mother when he was 9 to Cervical Cancer.  I have always been incrediably healthy so it hit him hard - we'd been married 33+ yrs when I was DX'd.

    Winyan - The Power Within

    Susan

  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    coco2008 said:

    Thanks for all the help

     i've tried movies and reading.  I even started another quilt.  Family is not available and I don't want to be a pest to my friends, since this doesn't look to be a quick cure.  I guess I am doing what I can, and it's very nice to know I'm not losing my mind.  And thanks to the people like yhose on this forum, I don't feel so alone.  Thanks.

    You are not losing your

    You are not losing your mind.  We're all like this.  I hate to have to wait for results and I usually end up calling the doctor's office to see if the results came in early.  Sometimes they do.

    You aren't alone, you've got us!

  • flatpikr
    flatpikr Member Posts: 11
    Waiting

    I know exactly what you mean!  After my diagnosis, I got into surgery very quickly.  It was only 2 weeks from diagnosis.  But then I had to wait 3 weeks to get an appointment with a med. oncologist.  I spent most of the time researching various treatment options for my pathology and making an educated guess as to what the MO would recommend.  It turned out that my guess was a more aggressive treatment than what she recommended.  She referred me to a radiation oncologist, who was out of town and I had to wait again to get an appointment.  While waiting, I lined up another appointment with a M.O. at a different hospital to get a second opinion about treatment.  So then when the R.O. called to make an appointment, I had to tell them I wanted to wait for the second opinion before starting with another new doctor.  In total it has been almost 6 weeks from my surgery and I'm still don't know for sure what treatment I'll end up doing.  It's enough to drive a person crazy!

    I am coping with the waiting by reading a lot of books, playing music, exercising on my new elliptical machine, and reading all the cancer bulletin boards like this one.

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    flatpikr said:

    Waiting

    I know exactly what you mean!  After my diagnosis, I got into surgery very quickly.  It was only 2 weeks from diagnosis.  But then I had to wait 3 weeks to get an appointment with a med. oncologist.  I spent most of the time researching various treatment options for my pathology and making an educated guess as to what the MO would recommend.  It turned out that my guess was a more aggressive treatment than what she recommended.  She referred me to a radiation oncologist, who was out of town and I had to wait again to get an appointment.  While waiting, I lined up another appointment with a M.O. at a different hospital to get a second opinion about treatment.  So then when the R.O. called to make an appointment, I had to tell them I wanted to wait for the second opinion before starting with another new doctor.  In total it has been almost 6 weeks from my surgery and I'm still don't know for sure what treatment I'll end up doing.  It's enough to drive a person crazy!

    I am coping with the waiting by reading a lot of books, playing music, exercising on my new elliptical machine, and reading all the cancer bulletin boards like this one.

    answers soon

    I will have most of my treatment plan next Tuesday.  Then just waiting for genetic testing.

    Hope you get your answes soon as well, and get through treatment with minimal side effects.

  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    coco2008 said:

    answers soon

    I will have most of my treatment plan next Tuesday.  Then just waiting for genetic testing.

    Hope you get your answes soon as well, and get through treatment with minimal side effects.

    Good luck next Tuesday.  Post

    Good luck next Tuesday.  Post an update for us. 

    Hugs, Debby

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    DebbyM said:

    Good luck next Tuesday.  Post

    Good luck next Tuesday.  Post an update for us. 

    Hugs, Debby

    Hopes

    What are the chances that they tell me it is all a crazy mistake and I am fine?  Oh well.  A girl has to dream.

  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    coco2008 said:

    Hopes

    What are the chances that they tell me it is all a crazy mistake and I am fine?  Oh well.  A girl has to dream.

    I wish it was a mistake

    I wish it was a mistake coco!  Good luck!

  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    coco2008 said:

    answers soon

    I will have most of my treatment plan next Tuesday.  Then just waiting for genetic testing.

    Hope you get your answes soon as well, and get through treatment with minimal side effects.

    Wishing you good luck with

    Wishing you good luck with your genetic test results and good luck with whatever treatment your onco suggests for you.

    Hugs, Leeza

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    coco2008 said:

    answers soon

    I will have most of my treatment plan next Tuesday.  Then just waiting for genetic testing.

    Hope you get your answes soon as well, and get through treatment with minimal side effects.

    Good luck flatpikr and

    Good luck flatpikr and coco!

    Hugs, Jan

  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member

    Good luck flatpikr and

    Good luck flatpikr and coco!

    Hugs, Jan

    Keep dreaming

    Keep dreaming all things will be fine because dreams do come true. It happened many many times in my life.I've been close to death.I was able to pray to live.Some don't get that chance.My daughter-in-law didn't have the chance a few months ago but everyone praying for her worked.She alive but she's having some difficulties.Now it dealing with all that happened throughout her long illness and 5 week coma.But she tells us she's so Thankful. She's a testimonial.

    Lynn Smith

  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000

    Keep dreaming

    Keep dreaming all things will be fine because dreams do come true. It happened many many times in my life.I've been close to death.I was able to pray to live.Some don't get that chance.My daughter-in-law didn't have the chance a few months ago but everyone praying for her worked.She alive but she's having some difficulties.Now it dealing with all that happened throughout her long illness and 5 week coma.But she tells us she's so Thankful. She's a testimonial.

    Lynn Smith

    I am sending more good luck

    I am sending more good luck and even more big hugs!